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screaming.org
Forum Full Member


Registered: 08/27/05
Posts: 519
Location: N/A
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 07:21 AM CST

A: "Knock, knock..."

B: "Who's there?"

A: "Interrupting cow."

B: "Interrupting..."

A: "MOOO!!!"
Einarus
Forum Full Member


Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 229
Location: Álftanes, Iceland
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 07:51 AM CST

Aristotle and Renée Descartes walked in to a bar.
Aristotle: "So, Renée... do you want a martini?"
Renée then said: "I think not..." and disappeared.

Heisenberg is speeding down the street and he gets pulled over by a cop.
The cop then says: "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg answers: "No, but i know exactly where I am!"

An atom walks into a bar.
Atom: "I think I lost an electron here last night..."
Bartender: "Are you positive?"

What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.

What do you get if you drop a piano on a commanding officer?
A flat major.

-Einar Sv.
Cantor
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 198
Location: New Rochelle, NY USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 07:53 AM CST

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?
Shark infested mashed potatoes.
Cantor
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 198
Location: New Rochelle, NY USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 07:54 AM CST

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
Cantor
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 198
Location: New Rochelle, NY USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 07:55 AM CST

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
Cantor
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 198
Location: New Rochelle, NY USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 07:59 AM CST

Two muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here." The other muffin screams, "AAUGH!! A talking muffin!"

(there... now I have 100 posts. Thanks for creating a subject which made it easy!)

Mr. Green
Epileptic Gibbon
Forum Full Member


Registered: 11/30/04
Posts: 1298
Location: Cheltenham, England
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 08:01 AM CST

A man was driving along when his mobile phone rang. It turned out to be his boss offering him a promotion. Immediately afterwards he crashed his car. He was rescued from the car by another driver who asked him what happened. The man replied, "I careered off the road".


Have you heard the Gestapo joke?

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Doadars Uncle
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/02/05
Posts: 1643
Location: N/A
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 08:04 AM CST

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his friend on the trail?
Cantor
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 198
Location: New Rochelle, NY USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 08:09 AM CST

Speaking of cannibals... There are these two cannibals eating a clown. One turns to the other and asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"
 
Epileptic Gibbon
Forum Full Member


Registered: 11/30/04
Posts: 1298
Location: Cheltenham, England
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 08:12 AM CST

A man walks into a bar. "Ow!", he says. It was a metal bar.

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