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snowdragon
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 693
Location: End of County Road 10, turn left, right at the end of that road, third house from the pizza place
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Tuesday, November 29 2005 @ 12:56 PM CST

Quote by: ChrisSly
An avid admirer of puns entered a contest to come up with the worst (best?) posible puns. He came up with ten, figuring the odds were good that at least one of them would win.

But, alas, no pun in ten did.



Uncle!

When philosophy and reality collide, reality wins, Snow Gretzky
screaming.org
Forum Full Member


Registered: 08/27/05
Posts: 519
Location: N/A
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Tuesday, November 29 2005 @ 01:01 PM CST

I just saw this one in the /. thread about the real, working air guitar:

A: Knock, Knock
B: Who's There?
A: Bass Player
B: Bass Player who?
A: Why does noone ever remember who the bass player is?
Kevensor
Forum Full Member


Registered: 12/22/04
Posts: 154
Location: N/A
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Tuesday, November 29 2005 @ 01:53 PM CST

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
it was dead

Why did the chicken fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the monkey

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but you have to get them inside.

What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
a drummer.



Cydniko
Forum Full Member


Registered: 04/26/05
Posts: 679
Location: San Francisco Bay Aea, CA USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Tuesday, November 29 2005 @ 01:54 PM CST

I feel more like I do now than I did when I first got here...
Scorpjammer
Forum Full Member


Registered: 08/01/04
Posts: 237
Location: Reading, PA USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Tuesday, November 29 2005 @ 02:19 PM CST

Q. What did the math major say to the sociology major?

A: I'll have fries with that burger.
jgurner
Forum Full Member


Registered: 05/20/04
Posts: 1957
Location: The Valley, Mississippi USofA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Tuesday, November 29 2005 @ 03:30 PM CST

Quote by: Einarus
Quote by: jgurner
Three penguins are standing in a bathtub. The first one turns to the second one and says "Hey, man. Hand me the soap."

The second penguin turns back and says "What do I look like, a typewriter..."


Which reminds me...

Two pigs sat on a branch in a supermarket and were knitting strawberries. Then a vacuum cleaner flies by and one of the pigs goes "whaa?" - "Don't worry" said the other " he must have a nest nearby."
Wonderful stuff, no?



Aw, dude! A new favorite!
nyakki
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/07/05
Posts: 198
Location: Redmond, WA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Tuesday, November 29 2005 @ 03:58 PM CST

The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?"
"Or course I can," the banker replied, "but this is a hell of a time to talk business."


Do you realize how many holes there would if they just didn't have any dirt in them?


If you bought a CD entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane" and enjoyed it can you take it back and demand a refund?


Do you think that in about 40 years, elderly couples will hold hands and say, 'Listen hon, they're screaming our rap song'?
Cantor
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 198
Location: New Rochelle, NY USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Tuesday, November 29 2005 @ 07:24 PM CST

The logical positivist accused the existentialist of not being sufficiently analytical.
The existentialist accused the logical positivist of not being sufficiently.

geddit?????
jgurner
Forum Full Member


Registered: 05/20/04
Posts: 1957
Location: The Valley, Mississippi USofA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Tuesday, November 29 2005 @ 07:27 PM CST

Quote by: Cantor
The logical positivist accused the existentialist of not being sufficiently analytical.
The existentialist accused the logical positivist of not being sufficiently.

geddit?????



Ow! Now my head hurts!
 
nyakki
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/07/05
Posts: 198
Location: Redmond, WA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Thursday, December 01 2005 @ 12:08 AM CST

The world needs more duck jokes...

What time does a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn.

How do you get down from a duck?
Use a ladder.

Why did the duck cross the park?
To get to the other slide.


A duck walks into a bar and says to the bar tender "I'll have a beer".
The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?"
The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street".
And the bartender says, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?"
And the duck said "What would the circus want with a brick laying duck?"