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Ejh
Forum Full Member


Registered: 05/24/05
Posts: 3482
Location: , MA USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 04:44 PM CST

How many folk songwriters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Seven.

One to change the bulb.

Two to complain that the new one is electric.

Four to write sad songs about how much they miss the old one.


Ed


"We have to remember...when it's surrender that's called for, it's not surrender of your brains. It's surrender of your ego. It's a different thing." --Bruce Cockburn
Ejh
Forum Full Member


Registered: 05/24/05
Posts: 3482
Location: , MA USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 04:46 PM CST

What's the difference between a mandolin and a trampoline?
[Sorry Mando...this is how I heard it...]



You have to take off your shoes before you jump up and down on a trampoline.

"We have to remember...when it's surrender that's called for, it's not surrender of your brains. It's surrender of your ego. It's a different thing." --Bruce Cockburn
Komrade K
Forum Full Member


Registered: 08/02/05
Posts: 927
Location: Whitstable, Kent England
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 05:18 PM CST

That reminds me of a fiddle player's joke.

How can you tell a viola player is playing out of tune? Their fingers are moving!

caroline
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 626
Location: Cheltenham, Gloucestershire - glos-ter-sh - United Kingdom
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 05:25 PM CST

and....

what's the difference between a mandolin (i'm sorry too) and an onion?

nobody cries when you cut up a mandolin !

xxx

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo. Sir Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
ROAD KING
Forum Junior


Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 21
Location: NewBern, NC USA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 06:28 PM CST

Keep a look out for the ROADKING! Harley Thunder comin your way!

RIDE TO LIVE LIVE TO RIDE!
ChrisSly
Forum Full Member


Registered: 04/11/04
Posts: 259
Location: NYC, Baby!
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 07:53 PM CST

Quote by: ROAD KING
Keep a look out for the ROADKING! Harley Thunder comin your way!



I don't get it. Another surrealist joke maybe?

sometimes more feet than shoes.
ChrisSly
Forum Full Member


Registered: 04/11/04
Posts: 259
Location: NYC, Baby!
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 07:56 PM CST

How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

One to hold the bulb while world revolves around her.

sometimes more feet than shoes.
ledebutant
Forum Full Member


Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 1338
Location: Under the Airplanes, WA
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 08:13 PM CST

This one's for Pie:

Q - What do a cup of coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?
A - They both suck without Cream
snowdragon
Forum Full Member


Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 693
Location: End of County Road 10, turn left, right at the end of that road, third house from the pizza place
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 08:27 PM CST

A Canadian Guitar Player Is Drinking In A Southern Bar....

He gets a call on his mobile phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear & orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Canadian baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the guitar player just shrugs, "That's about average up North. Like I said, my boy's a typical Canadian baby boy."


Congratulations showered him from all around & many exclamations of "WOW!" and "Holy Shit!!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later the guitar player returns to the bar. The barman says "Say, you're the father of that typical Canadian baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been makin' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. We were gonna call you... so how much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."

The barman is puzzled & concerned. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born."

The father takes a slow swig from his Molson Export Ale, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and says, "Had him circumcised".

When philosophy and reality collide, reality wins, Snow Gretzky
 
tktran
Forum Newbie


Registered: 03/11/04
Posts: 14
Location: N/A
 
Re:Bad Jokes - Clean Only
Monday, November 28 2005 @ 11:02 PM CST

Organizers of the first National Ebonics Beauty Pagent had to cancel their plans. They couldn't find anybody who was willing to be Ms. Idaho.