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Chains (remixed)


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This is one half of a pair of poems I wrote on religion. The other is called "Hunger," and will be posted next (sometime this week). I posted a different version of this poem just a couple days ago, but took feedback into consideration for this cut.

It can be found here: Chains (original mix)
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Lyrics
Prayer hungry and desperate she cries out
to gods she does not believe in.
“Have we done so badly by your sons?
The wolf and the snake prosper.”
It is always the daughters for which
one worries.
How long until Ragnarok?
She eats of the body and drinks of the blood,
knowing they serve better with malvern and garlic.

Her mother suckled her as a babe,
until she could speak and cry, “No more.”
It was her father who taught her to truly eat,
and know humiliation.
“Cover your nakedness
before you bring me to shame,”
coveting and repulsion weighing his
voice equally.
Such little wonder she is half alive!

“I am unfulfilled and too lonely.”
There is no response to this sacrifice of tears.
No guidance in the stars, no gods, no monsters.
So put paid to that bill,
call this one done.
Ask for forgiveness of yourself.
And run away.
Far away.
And pray for nothing.

There will always be an answer.
Song Stats
Hits: 2521
Comments: 10
Fans: 2
Plays: 164
Downloads: 111
Votes: 15
Uploaded: Mar 26, 2006 - 09:32:46 AM
Last Updated: Mar 27, 2006 - 06:09:21 PM Last Played: Jan 01, 2015 - 11:58:40 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

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Hardware:
Two M-Audio Nova mics, tascam US-122 audio interface, and a Edirol PCR-30 midi controller.
Software:
GB3 only
Comments
ktb said 4257 days ago (March 26th, 2006)
refuge
having just come from church and entertaining a long q&a from the
kids on religion i took refuge in this post. you have a lyrical touch and
the production was top notch.
Check out my latest song called Blackwater (by Tokai)
cjorgensen said 4256 days ago (March 27th, 2006)
refuge
Interesting response. Not sure why you would take refuge in a poem lacking
faith. Heh!

I do want to point out that I am not making any statements of belief with this
one. I am not being pro-pagan or anti-christian (I am neither). The discussion
on the previous version of this song is worth reading.

Chains (original mix)

---
A Bloody Dark Pastryman

http://www.christopher.jorgensen.name
Check out my latest song called Gardens
said 4257 days ago (March 26th, 2006)
Like, Like ittttt
is good as always I have said'it before and I do it again you are a pro on
this and I am glad I found you here. I always enjoy listen on yours spoken
word's.
I like it you have done a great work on this.

Sincerely
-----
Skean
cjorgensen said 4256 days ago (March 27th, 2006)
Like, Like ittttt
Thanks. It does mean something to me that you enjoy what I do. I like some of
your new stuff under your dragon moniker. I owe you comments.

---
A Bloody Dark Pastryman
http://www.christopher.jorgensen.name
Check out my latest song called Gardens
said 4257 days ago (March 27th, 2006)
I Look Forward
to hearing "Hunger".
I especially like your vocal production here.
cjorgensen said 4256 days ago (March 27th, 2006)
I Look Forward
Thank you.

I'm getting closer to being down with "Hunger."

I did the vocal the same night as I did "Chains," but I can't just slap it down on
the same backing track (boring), not can I go do something entirely out there.

Thematically the same is what I am going after. We'll see how for I am off.

---
A Bloody Dark Pastryman
http://www.christopher.jorgensen.name
Check out my latest song called Gardens
Warren Smith said 4255 days ago (March 28th, 2006)
a couple of (irrelevant) comments
After listening to both version, I can say I much prefer this one. It has nothing to do with production values, but rather my response to the human voice - this one I willingly listen to, whereas with the god-like (or monster?) effects-voice, I automatically slip into the defensive posture of a skeptic. I'm not sure why this happens. The words are the same, but we all know content alone doesn't sell the story - a certain amount of style is required. So I find myself listening differently. But perhaps this is irrelevant.

I know you are being serious, but what I really enjoy in your poetry - besides your willingness to stripsearch your emotional self and lay things bare for the world see - is your dark humor. It's always there, lurking behind the images - like serving up the body and blood with garlic and cheese. This is not laugh-out-loud gufhawing. Rather, it elicits a snort of comic recognition that there's more going on here than the obivious storyline. Ditto for the great ending, which contains a double twist: the obvious joke of always getting something by asking for nothing, but just how does one pray for nothing? To not pray at all? Because if you ask for nothing, that still is asking for something. To me it's a conundrum. And yet, that doesn't negate there is an answer.

Perhaps this is irrelevant, too.
Check out my latest song called Crime Story
cjorgensen said 4255 days ago (March 29th, 2006)
a couple of (irrelevant) comments
It was the feedback from the previous version that made me want to change
the voice. This is more along my natural voice, and since I had another poem
to do in the set, I didn't want two poems with "god" voices, especially since
the second poem it wouldn't fit. Not only are the words the same, but so it
the reading, and the deepening made the voice lose inflections.

The reason I went after the "host" in this poem is to point out that to people
outside a religion the trappings of that religion can seem silly. People accept
religion without question, or condemn another's without examination. Yeah,
the world probably isn't on the back of a turtle, nor does an animal totem
carry our souls to the land of the dead, and we I die I don't expect to be
rewarded with virgins, but bread transforming into a man 2,000 years dead
makes sense?

And I like the way the poem ends ends as well. I was playing with the idea
that if she were only to pray all could be made better again. It's doesn't
matter what you pray for, as long as you...yadda yadda. And I was also going
for the fact that she wants an ending. A dead god wanting Ragnarok.

I don't know, I a lot of times don't think about the lines much until after. And
I would never call my reading of one of my poems definitive. Too often I have
inside or subtle jokes that people either don't get or don't find humor in, so
they mean something else, which is just fine by me.

---
A Bloody Dark Pastryman
http://www.christopher.jorgensen.name
Check out my latest song called Gardens
said 4255 days ago (March 28th, 2006)
always an answer?
Thought provoking lyrics delivered from your lingua. I will ponder this and respond to you privately via an emissary in a dark robe.
cjorgensen said 4255 days ago (March 28th, 2006)
always an answer?
Ah, man, so your seconds are going to call on mine? I insist on flintlocks!

---
A Bloody Dark Pastryman
http://www.christopher.jorgensen.name
Check out my latest song called Gardens
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Name: Christopher L. Jorgensen
Location: Slater IA United States
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Christopher L. Jorgensen is lucky enough to make his living answering questions about Macintosh computers all day. In his spare time he likes to drink wine, play with webdesign, and learn new things about computers. He has an iron ego and lives fo... [see more]

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