Crikey Trainers

lengold

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Description

I was listening to Brian Delaney's (Brian D) music here on Macjams (I am a big fan). I left a post saying that I thought that he is a megastar incognito.
He uses a mellotron plug-in for some of the wonderful sounds he gets. That made me want to buy one - then I realised that I have bought many things over the years that I thought would make me better/more talented. I am still trying to resist buying the mellotron. But of course the talent is within (as with Brian).

EDIT 2009: LATER RE-MASTERED VERSION HERE

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Lyrics

Thought if I had Crikey Trainers
I could win the Olympics
Thought if I splashed on Old Mice
I could have all the chicks
If I had my own Bowling Ball
I might strike the Big Time

No need for talent just buy the best
No need for talent just beat your chest

But oh the disappointment
I couldn't run, no chicks and loads of spares

But oh the disappointment
Couldn't run, no chicks and lots of spares
Couldn't run, no chicks and loads of spares
Couldn't run, no chicks and loads of spares

If I had a Grand Piano
I could sound like Mozart
If I had a Bang On Camera
I could make Movie Art
If I had a mellotron plug-in
I could sound like Brian Delaney

No need for talent just buy the best
No need for talent just beat your chest

But oh the disappointment
I couldn't run, no chicks and loads of spares

But oh the disappointment
Couldn't run, no chicks and lots of spares
Couldn't run, no chicks and loads of spares
Couldn't run, no chicks and loads of spares

Song Stats

Hits: 1763
Comments: 70
Fans: 17
Plays: 173
Downloads: 103
Votes:
Uploaded: Jun 21, 2007 - 12:13:51 PM
Last Updated: Jun 10, 2009 - 04:10:54 AM Last Played: Jun 30, 2009 - 11:10:25 AM

Song License

Creative Commons License:
NonCommercial-ShareAlike

Song Actions

Hardware:

Key-station 49e

Software:

GB3
Addictive Drums

Comments

Rebsie

Rebsie said 889 days ago (June 21st, 2007)

Topical!
A very fine and damning indictment of the Great Lie that keeps the economy booming ... the delusion that fulfilment can be found in consumer goods, if only we keep buying enough of them. I like the double tracked vocals and the guitar is a nice surprise when it comes in.

Trainers are a load of overpriced crap ... that mellotron plug-in might be worth having though.

Check out my latest song called Amongst The Colours (w/ Luna Trick)

lengold

lengold said 889 days ago (June 21st, 2007)

Blimey!
That was quick. Thanks Rebsie for your comments.
I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron. I want the mellotron.
Cheers
Len

---
pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len

Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

	said 889 days ago (June 22nd, 2007)
	Like it Nice song with a great lyrics.

lengold	lengold said 889 days ago (June 22nd, 2007)
	Appreciated Thanks a lot Skean. Very appreciated. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

jiguma	jiguma said 888 days ago (June 22nd, 2007)
	: ) Simple, great lyrics and enough musically interesting things happening to keep me very much with you. This is a really good example of the great range of good music here. Congratulations for pulling this off so well. Very quirky indeed (a good thing!). Neil Check out my latest song called Lost In Translation (w Mike Watkins)

lengold	lengold said 888 days ago (June 22nd, 2007)
	Thanks Neil Thanks Neil, Glad you enjoyed it. Was a bit worried about posting this one. Had a few shall I, shan't I, moments. Couldn't decide if the vocals were good enough. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

mikkinylund	mikkinylund said 888 days ago (June 22nd, 2007)
	Nice Very nice tempo and beat. Fun lyrics! Great song and find! Check out my latest song called Fairyland (Satumaa)

lengold	lengold said 888 days ago (June 22nd, 2007)
	Ta Thanks Mikki for listening. Really appreciated. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

Macaudion

Macaudion said 888 days ago (June 22nd, 2007)

Dign' the honesty of this one.
Now that just made me feel good. Very, very cool tune! Love that synth sound that ya got goin after the first choirs. Dign' the lyrics and vocal work on this, especially the coolnest of the FX. Nice rock solid beat!

This one is a clever little groove thing. And I can relate to the act of purchasing really "advanced" products, the ones that I thought would make my efforts, less. I'm way grown up now and I don't do this anymore. Well... Okay... now, if I do make said purchases, I make sure that I'm truly gettn' away with something.

Thanks for sharing your coolnest!

Cheers! Macca

Check out my latest song called 123 iGetU

lengold	lengold said 888 days ago (June 22nd, 2007)
	Glad Hello Macca, Glad and happy that you enjoyed my ditty. I am still suckered in by these purchases (I wish I could grow up). Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

Peter Bauckham

Peter Bauckham said 888 days ago (June 22nd, 2007)

Nice one!
Indeed today's 'must have' is always tomorrow's 'pile of crap'. I think perhaps the buying public is a bit more cynical what with DVD, HD-DVD, Blu-ray, HD ready, full HD and so it goes on...

In any case - I love the song, great lyrics and excellent performance. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to your next offering with that mellotron plug-in!

Peter

Check out my latest song called All The Same (CBGB) (Last Chance Challenge)

lengold	lengold said 888 days ago (June 22nd, 2007)
	Really... ... Really nice of you to comment Peter. I suppose I will HAVE to buy it now. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

Alannah	Alannah said 886 days ago (June 24th, 2007)
	Hmmmm I don't know what a mellotron plug in is ... (call me lame) ... but I am likin the beat on this .... and don't worry about the vocals .. they sound great to me ! I also like the double tracking .... Check out my latest song called I'm Drownin' - Smokey VW (feat Alannah) + Outtaorbit

lengold	lengold said 886 days ago (June 24th, 2007)
	Alannah... Alannah, thanks for listening. How can you not worry. Very nice of you to comment. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

rsolorio

rsolorio said 876 days ago (July 4th, 2007)

Mellotron plugin
Think Strawberry Fields Forever, classic mellotron sound. The pre-midi machine was like the first "Tape loop" sound library. Each key triggered a tape loop that had a, say Flute pitch prerecorded. As you went up the keyboard, each tape loop would be triggered for each note played. While I'm no expert at these things, they had tape loops for many, many things like voices, strings and just random sound effect. The collection was made into the M-tron pluggin available for garageband and is really cool.

I'm fond of the cello, which to my ear has all the emotion of the real deal, um, because its a recording of the real deal.

---
<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/26158">You Stand Alone</a>

Regards,

Roy

Check out my latest song called Bass Thoughts

lengold	lengold said 876 days ago (July 4th, 2007)
	Thanks Roy Can't wait. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

apb

apb said 885 days ago (June 25th, 2007)

I dig this groove alot ...
.. the theme is plain brilliant but the bit that just
is sheer genius is that sweet guitar bit .. off to listen again ..oh, I'd bring the bass up (but might be these headphones I have at work). Bass line reminded me a little of a B52s track .. forget which one, albeit slowed down. Where is the piano Len? Your really a female
Swede called Pia Noman, I know ;o)

Check out my latest song called Misplaced

lengold	lengold said 885 days ago (June 25th, 2007)
	Pia Norman? Hello Alan, You have intrigued me - Pia Norman - what does it mean? Thanks for you comments. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

apb	apb said 883 days ago (June 27th, 2007)
	lol .. just my bad attempt at a wee joke .. "Pia" is quite a common name for a girl in Sweden .. so you 'might' have been Pia Noman1 instead of Pianoman1 .. but your not, ahem your er.. Len. Check out my latest song called Misplaced

lengold	lengold said 883 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	Pia Alan, I realised about 5 seconds after I posted my reply and felt pretty thick. But thanks for clarifying anyway. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

ceilidh

ceilidh said 885 days ago (June 25th, 2007)

len,
like alannah i have no clue, what a mellotron plug-in is and what magic it makes with music. you just remind me with your brilliant lyrics and the "fear of buying and buying" of one guy, i met many times during my 4 years in glasgow. he was very into traditional and folk music. he was going to every music sessions, folk music concerts, celtic connections festival etc. and he always carried with him his collection of tin whistles. all of them they were in a different keys, different sizes, different materials silver metal, golden metal, wood, by size neatly tidy in his dark green velvet wrapping, full of stitched on little ribbon holders separately placed for each tin whistle. very beautiful. he always came and standing in the middle of the crowd with wide gesture he opened his beautiful collection of tin whistles. what a beautiful view! all shiny and elegant. i think he might had about 30 of them. but when we asked him to play, he always said, "no, not now, i don't feel like, this is not the moment etc." and actually in all those 4 years i never heard him playing. because he simply didn't know, how to play.
so this is the story you reminded me with your lovely lyrics.
i enjoyed your song very much :) thank you
paja

Check out my latest song called Gartan Mother's Lullaby

lengold	lengold said 885 days ago (June 25th, 2007)
	Thank you... ...Paja for your lovely story which illustrates extremely well what I am trying convey in my lyrics. How easily I could be that whistle man. Thank you also for your kind words about my song - very appreciated. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

jasongreen	jasongreen said 885 days ago (June 25th, 2007)
	hey listen to this no need for talent. we all will die someday anyways. keep us all beliveing we will live forever. super duper lyrics. makes me want to go out and get an ice cream cone. Check out my latest song called shuco

lengold	lengold said 885 days ago (June 26th, 2007)
	Thank you... ...for commenting Jason and welcome to Macjams. I will look out for your first song. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

Doadars Uncle	Doadars Uncle said 884 days ago (June 26th, 2007)
	Nice perc for the endless treading of the commercial culture! Good luck on the mellotron thing! Great song! Check out my latest song called Capitalist's Drag

lengold	lengold said 884 days ago (June 26th, 2007)
	Thanks... for taking the time to visit and comment. VERY appreciated. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

screamalexz	screamalexz said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	entertaining hehe the lyrics amuse me. hmm so if you get a gibson les paul you'll be a rockstar? an entertaining piece. Check out my latest song called Die (Album Version)

lengold	lengold said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	Exactly So if you buy a black limousine with tinted windows you can be a mafia boss. Thanks for commenting. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

screamalexz	screamalexz said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	hmm hmm i'm mostly italian and my grampa who we dont associate with due to my dad got in a fight with him when he was younger then after years and years they reunited and got in a fight again.. well he's rich and no one knows where he gets the money from. mob maybe? --- Robert Smith lied, boys do cry Check out my latest song called Die (Album Version)

lengold	lengold said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	Maybe Sounds like something you should write a song about. But be careful. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

mvh9591	mvh9591 said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	HUM____ Len I love the story and your delivery vocally. The double effect worked well. I would have liked to hear a bit more guitar (I think that was you playing - right?) Hey would someone email Len the mellotron plug-in please! Nice work - I enjoyed it - Thanks for sharing, mvh : ) Susquehanna Sunrise Check out my latest song called Ease My Troubled Mind

lengold	lengold said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	Steam Well, this song seems to have been given a new head of steam. Thanks Michael for commenting and your kind words. I did not in fact play guitar on this at all. Was just a synth sound via the keyboard. Planning to dust of the guitar for the next one. Thanks again. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

ValleyPastor	ValleyPastor said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	Good stuff! But, if nobody bought all that stuff, where would the jobs go? . . . Oh, I forgot, the jobs are already in China and Korea. I'm short, half-blind, uncoordinated and bald. But I gotta put on my $230 shoes so I can be just like Mike. Check out my latest song called Understanding

lengold	lengold said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	Thanks Thomas... ...for having a listen. I appreciate your comments but who is Mike? Just listened to your song and very impressed with your musicianship. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

echoroom	echoroom said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	Show me the money Len - best track you've done, IMO. great vocal delivery (Beck meets Nick cave), great lyrics, and a really great druggy sound/structure. love the sound you use after the first 'chorus'. A slack, anti-capitalism anthem - really outstanding work, bud. Steve Check out my latest song called Deeper (w/t Racerat)

lengold	lengold said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	WOW Steve, I am blown away - coming from you that really is appreciated. I am jumping up and down. An enormous THANK YOU. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

echoroom	echoroom said 881 days ago (June 29th, 2007)
	... hey Lenny ... you should be pleased with this ... it's a great track, and a good response to it ... weren't you saying about 2 tracks back that you couldn't sing??!! Onwards and upwards!! steve Check out my latest song called Deeper (w/t Racerat)

lengold

lengold said 881 days ago (June 29th, 2007)

WOW x 2
Steve, what can I say - thanks again, I totally appreciate your encouraging words, they spur me on. My voice still sounds like rubbish to me but maybe that's normal?
When's your next one - still listening to Manhattan Hangs all the time and playing it to others as an example of the fantastic music that people are making at home. They are always surprised and impressed.
Cheers
Len

---
pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len

Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

echoroom	echoroom said 881 days ago (June 30th, 2007)
	Ta Len ... ...at the moment Racerat is remixing Manhattan Hangs with proper guitars, so that's nearly ready. Also working on a vocal line One Sweey World posted, which is... I dunno, kinda dancey ... odd song for me ... that's how I'm spending my weekend! LOL Steve Check out my latest song called Deeper (w/t Racerat)

lengold	lengold said 881 days ago (June 30th, 2007)
	Looking ...forward to hearing them Steve. Have a great weekend. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

Komrade K	Komrade K said 882 days ago (June 28th, 2007)
	That's quite a groove... ...you've got going there - great guitar line, spare but effective. KK Check out my latest song called Ye Mariners All

lengold	lengold said 882 days ago (June 29th, 2007)
	Really... Good of you to take the time to comment KK. Thanks a lot. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

Brian D	Brian D said 878 days ago (July 2nd, 2007)
	of course I love it you flatter me more than I deserve, but I'd love this even if my name wasn't in it. It's original and cool and weird. i could go on. you should get the M-Tron plug in. it's $99 well spent. you'll definitely do cool things with it! thanks again. I have to play this for my Mom! Check out my latest song called Chase That Frown Away

lengold	lengold said 878 days ago (July 2nd, 2007)
	I am honoured.. ... Thanks for listening Brian - I really appreciate it. What I can't understand is why your songs are so under-rated on here. I don't think that you get enough flattery. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

rsolorio	rsolorio said 876 days ago (July 4th, 2007)
	That was awesome I too am a big Brian D fan, but you take the cake my friend. The song is just amazing and tons of fun. Your voice and delivery reminded my of the Zappa man. Truely enjoyed the listen. And len, get the pluggin. If you use it, chicks will come. Check out my latest song called Bass Thoughts

lengold

lengold said 876 days ago (July 4th, 2007)

Am listening
to your song as I write this, why haven't you done more? It is really good. I also see what a big fan of Brian D you are. I think he could have been the fifth Beatle and should now be working with McCartney. Anyway, many thanks for your comments, I won't let my wife read them. Glad you liked the song, Mellotron on order - waiting for it to arrive.
Cheers
Len

---
pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len

Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

rsolorio	rsolorio said 876 days ago (July 4th, 2007)
	The cello IS awesome You'll love the cello, Len. It just gets it right. The vibrato and bow draw just sucks you in. Have fun. --- <a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/26158">You Stand Alone</a> Regards, Roy Check out my latest song called Bass Thoughts

lengold	lengold said 876 days ago (July 4th, 2007)
	Little bit wary of trying to use it now, I might not live up to it. Cheers Len --- pianoman1 is a mistake my name is Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

five_extra_arms	five_extra_arms said 868 days ago (July 12th, 2007)
	Mellotronica Len, I love this song! You are so cool and dark and modern. The lyrics are really clever and funny. You officially have a new fan of your music! Check out my latest song called Michael Pool

lengold	lengold said 868 days ago (July 12th, 2007)
	That really ...is so nice of you Bob. Thanks also for the email, I will listen later. Wow a fan - whatever next. Thanks again - you've made my day. Cheers Len --- lengold is the new pianoman1 Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

rainfice	rainfice said 854 days ago (July 26th, 2007)
	laugh in I like the subtle dry humour you have. You write really unusual, honest and tounge in cheek lyrics, then present them in a very personal fashion. There's humour there, but it doesn't come across as cheap or meaningless. There's method to the madness. a most original style. -Rain Check out my latest song called Moment

lengold	lengold said 854 days ago (July 26th, 2007)
	Thanks again Rain very nice of you to comment - appreciated. Cheers Len --- lengold is the new pianoman1 Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

five_extra_arms

five_extra_arms said 835 days ago (August 14th, 2007)

I Had My Toes In The Sand....
...and in my head I kept hearing:

No need for talent just buy the best
No need for talent just beat your chest

So I shuffled through my iPod and when I found Crikey Trainers, I cranked it. That mellotron sound is just out of this world. A perfect match for your fantastic voice.

I had a great beach experience despite the brutal heat. I had the rare opportunity to listen to MacJams music exclusively with the exception of Linda Ronstadt's "Canciones de Mi Padre" album.

Good stuff Len. You're a really original act and so full of great ideas. I think you're a superstar.

Bob

Check out my latest song called Michael Pool

lengold	lengold said 835 days ago (August 14th, 2007)
	Bob that really is so nice - thanks. Weird 'cause I just sent you an email and then noticed this immediately after I pressed the send button. Spooky. Cheers Len --- Must try harder Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

K.I.S.KISMET	K.I.S.KISMET said 834 days ago (August 15th, 2007)
	I can't dance... remember that song from Genesis? That is kind of what this song reminds me of....a total good thing for me! Catchy groove and lyrics, and the vox are so cool. Oh, yea..hope you got the mellotron:) Peace Check out my latest song called Your's

lengold	lengold said 834 days ago (August 15th, 2007)
	Thanks a lot for listening and commenting and for faving my latest - appreciated. Cheers Len --- Must try harder Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

Schello	Schello said 790 days ago (September 28th, 2007)
	;-) Marvelous! what i can to say! Im not musician -------------- Schello Check out my latest song called Snozz'en (Cronik Mix)

lengold	lengold said 789 days ago (September 29th, 2007)
	Thank you Schello - appreciated. Cheers Len --- Must try harder Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

Heightened	Heightened said 777 days ago (October 11th, 2007)
	Crikey Trainers Nice one - and funny! Heightened Check out my latest song called A Journey Through Starburst Galaxy M82

lengold	lengold said 776 days ago (October 13th, 2007)
	Pleased you enjoyed this. I had fun doing it. Cheers Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

paddler

paddler said 732 days ago (November 25th, 2007)

-
I spent 15 seconds just laughing at a picture of trainers with steam coming out of them and the word crikey.Why,I dont know - easily pleased,I suppose.Theres not many artists on 'ere who I actually bother coming back to listen to - not any reflection on their talent or enthusiasm - more a reflection on my lack of self esteem and weird brain.If something is dazzingly perfected I steer away in case I start thinking my recordings should be up to that standard or style.Then if something is too rubbish - I don't bother.And then theres a happy but rare medium somwhere in between thats just - creative/candid/original without being too up its own arse.Really enjoyed it.I'll probably be a fan for as long as were around.Cheers

RG

Check out my latest song called Tiger Flame (Halloween Challenge)

lengold	lengold said 732 days ago (November 26th, 2007)
	I think that's one of the nicest comments I've had. I know exactly what you mean about the happy medium. Thanks so much RG for taking the time to listen to my old songs - this one is a favourite of mine. Cheers Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

paddler	paddler said 732 days ago (November 25th, 2007)
	ps is it me or have you been logged in for about 2 weeks continously.Guffaw.Cheers - the invisible one Check out my latest song called Tiger Flame (Halloween Challenge)

lengold	lengold said 732 days ago (November 26th, 2007)
	How strange is that - it's what I thought about you too. It must be that we both always log in and out at exactly the same times. What a strange and wonderful word Guffaw is. (Winks) Cheers Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

woofer3	woofer3 said 659 days ago (February 6th, 2008)
	Frank the man I can imagine Frank Zappa doing this, and I can't think of anything much nicer to say. He also did a track on I think it was his album -Apostrophe [1974]- which is called - Stinkfoot -using the same subject matter. I do like your powerful production as well. John Check out my latest song called coalhouse blues

lengold	lengold said 659 days ago (February 6th, 2008)
	Thanks for having a listen John - very nice of you to comment. Just noticed that you have a couple of new uploads. Will have a listen - I really like your work. Apostrophe is one of my favourite albums. Cheers Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

ramonaji	ramonaji said 204 days ago (May 6th, 2009)
	Hello! Just saying hi while I download. Check out my latest song called You Think You've Got it All?

lengold	lengold said 204 days ago (May 6th, 2009)
	Hello! This is one of my favourites too. Merci grande. Cheers Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

SmokeyVW	SmokeyVW said 169 days ago (June 10th, 2009)
	so right you are killer lyrics! you are so right fun track tracks Check out my latest song called One For Me

lengold	lengold said 169 days ago (June 10th, 2009)
	Thanks for listening Bill. Cheers Len Check out my latest song called Dodgy Doughnut

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Name: Len Gold

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