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Only Make Believe (remix)


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This is the second song ever started putting together on GB. I started in Jan of 08 and I'm getting closer to being done. I posted a version a few months ago that I got a lot of great ideas on. Mixing has always been an issue, but I also left that version kind of incomplete. Thanks to everyone who threw some ideas my way. Let me know what sounds off to you. In Garageband the vocals seemed to have enough presence, but in iTunes, they seem to be a little buried. I have the auto normalize turned off so maybe that's just what happens when it gets put in MP3 format.

Excuse the lyrics. I don't even know what they mean. One day I'll change them.
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Lyrics
The Stage is set and my blood's in overdrive
will we survive?
It's a heart attack waiting to explode
What will unfold?

You're not even listening to a word I'm saying
You're not even worth the breath I'm praying

Don't worry, little girl. It's only make believe.

I could sing for hours to your deaf ears
What would you hear?
In power and anxiety we trust
Deliver us.

You're not even listening to a word I'm saying
You're not even worth the breath I'm praying

Don't worry, little girl. It's only make believe.


Song Stats
Hits: 1506
Comments: 42
Fans: 24
Plays: 147
Downloads: 63
Votes: 2
Uploaded: Nov 30, 2008 - 12:14:08 PM
Last Updated: Nov 30, 2008 - 12:14:08 PM Last Played: Feb 07, 2010 - 09:13:53 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
Fender Telecaster, Marshall DFX, M-Audio fastrack pro, Yamaha Keys,
Software:
GB 08
Comments
lavalamp said 473 days ago (November 30th, 2008)
Like the song a bunch
Love this song in every way except one; the bass line.

You need McCartney on this.

Dave
Check out my latest song called The First Time
Lennon714 said 473 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
Sir Paul
I'd love to have him come over for some pizza and wings. We could talk about how bad his acting is and then he could law down some low tones.

Which part do you mean? The end or during the verse? The verse needs some bass. As it is, both verses have no bass at all. If you have some ideas, let me know and you can throw them down.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
lavalamp said 473 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
-
No bass line. Is what I meant. I think a McCartney style bass line would be appropriate. Do you have a bass?

Dave
Check out my latest song called The First Time
Lennon714 said 473 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
bass
I do have a bass. I have a Fender Jazz bass. The bass on this recording is MIDI, though. I get lazy. Very lazy.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
lavalamp said 471 days ago (December 2nd, 2008)
Let me get this...
...right. If someone were to pay you, you would...

I hear you.

LL :)
Check out my latest song called The First Time
Vic Holman said 473 days ago (November 30th, 2008)
cool redo Eric
sounds great and i really like the transitions and mix.

vocals sound right here. itunes is deceiving on play backs. I always listen to my songs through quicktime to get a true sound before I post a tune.
Check out my latest song called Happy You
Lennon714 said 473 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
Thanks Vic
I'll have to try listening in QT rather than iTunes before posting. I think I can tell that my ear is slowly improving. Don't know that I would have noticed a difference 6 months ago.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
davisamerica said 473 days ago (November 30th, 2008)
eric ...
nice tune my friend.
Check out my latest song called Shine (MJ Collab)
Lennon714 said 473 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
thanks
for the listen, man. Appreciate you coming by.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
dajama said 473 days ago (November 30th, 2008)
Nice one
I think the vocals sound good here, not too lost in the mix at all. Great percussion, and a lovely use of distorted guitar - the washing, broad sound of the guitars is excellent. Lyrics are certainly cryptic, but even if you do decide to change them in the future, you should consider keeping most of the imagery, because it's pretty cool stuff. Nicely done. Peace.
Check out my latest song called Across the Wire (MJRF)
Lennon714 said 473 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
Thanks.
With me there seems to be a fine line between cryptic artistry and nonsense. If I wrote them about something or someone in particular they wouldn't bother me so much. But because they're just words put together to sound interesting it's kind of embarassing.

Glad you liked the tune, though!
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
Feter said 473 days ago (November 30th, 2008)
Only Make Believe
whata cool keys work here my friend ...nice feelin
with your voice there ...yes I liked the burst with
the guitars ...heavy drums there maybe helping the whole feelings ...good work my friend .thnx alot for sharin !!!!
Lennon714 said 473 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
thanks!
Glad you liked, Feter. The feedback I got from people helped me make it a little more cohesive.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
lengold said 473 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
Lovely song
and extremely well performed and produced. Really enjoyed the listen.
Cheers
Len


Check out my latest song called A Little Crazy with cchaplin
Lennon714 said 473 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
many thanks,
Len. Thank you for your compliments!
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
ted23 said 473 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
Very good
I like the lyrics. It leaves things open for interpretation which is good. They melody is more or just as important for me and you got that here.
Nice job.
Check out my latest song called cupid went postal
Lennon714 said 472 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
thanks, man
melody is a deal maker for me, too. If I come up with a good one, I feel I'm lifting someone a little too blatantly, though.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
rsorensen said 472 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
wow man
you really improved this one. vocals sound really good and I don't think they're buried too much at all. the feedback lead in to the chorus is great. really like the bouncing guitar in the second verse and I still love that outro. . Awesome. If you ever revisit this I would love to hear that outro burst out into a full raging band an go on for a few more rotations, but maybe that's best saved for the live version ;) I think this is one of your best mixes so far. i love this song. Great job!
Check out my latest song called Call to Prayer (w/vocals)
Lennon714 said 472 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
thanks, ridd
Your suggestions helped push this one closer to the end goal. Glad you liked it. I feel the same way about the mix. It's getting better, slowly but surely.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
michael2 said 472 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
dude
this sounds unreal, so good. what were you recording with before? the vocals sound so nice and warm, everything is full and present. that guitar sound is amazing. really stellar job. i agree that you should put a real bass on this one. can't believe how great this sounds. and it's still a good song.
Check out my latest song called Acting So Strangely (with ParticleDots)
Lennon714 said 472 days ago (December 1st, 2008)
Geez
Michael. You trying to butter me up? :). Honestly, it's the exact same tracking as before. I've started "mastering" my tracks and I'm focusing my efforts on improving my mixing. You know all those questions I send you and Ridd? Every time any MJer talks about their recording/mixing/mastering process I try to take something in and apply it. Sure, it's not perfect but I think I've improved since joining in January. Thanks for you kind words. Really means a lot.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
somebuddy said 472 days ago (December 2nd, 2008)
Love it
Love the new mix broser! Great transitions and great sound.
Check out my latest song called Peter Pan
Lennon714 said 472 days ago (December 2nd, 2008)
aw shucks
You're too kind. We need to finish up our recordings. Perhaps we can talk Brandon in to letting us record with his logic setup.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
somebuddy said 471 days ago (December 2nd, 2008)
...
I'll twist his arm - I've been working out
Check out my latest song called Peter Pan
five_extra_arms said 472 days ago (December 2nd, 2008)
Great Mix
I love that I can go back to the previous version and hear the changes. They both rock, but this version rocks harder.

Keep up the good work.
Check out my latest song called HELICOPTERS
Lennon714 said 471 days ago (December 2nd, 2008)
if
you think this version rocks, think about how much the next version will rock. Or better yet, the version after that! Just kidding. Thanks, though. I'm proud of it, but I'm still humbled with what people post here. I'm just trying to absord some of it.

Unrelated: I was at guitar center today playing around with a micro korg. I had a really bouncy synth going and it made me think of you. I damn near cut up my credit card into picks and started rocking out.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
five_extra_arms said 471 days ago (December 2nd, 2008)
Credit Cards
LOL!

Thanks for thinking of me man!

That's hilarious!

Check out my latest song called HELICOPTERS
dolby said 471 days ago (December 3rd, 2008)
Massive
Another good one Eric -

Great guitar as others have said - and the vocal is very cool. Sounds like an indie classic to me -

The Clash-style white reggae stomp was a beautiful moment when it came in - love it! There are so many of my favourite things in this - I'd buy your album if you ever got signed!!!!!!!!

More please -
Phil

p.s. as others have said - it needs a real bass - happy to help out if you want
Check out my latest song called The Only Ghost Who Cares
Lennon714 said 471 days ago (December 3rd, 2008)
thanks
for the comment, Phil. I've been convinced. I'll put real bass on it. My biggest issue with using real bass is I'm never satisfied with the tone. I always do it DI. My songs "Mookie Wilson" and "Wasted on You" and even my cover of your tune have real bass on them so maybe I should just suck it up and stop being lazy. Twittle the knobs a bit more, as it were.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
dolby said 471 days ago (December 3rd, 2008)
Are you...
...using an audio interface, or going directly into your computer? I've only recently started using an AI and so far am impressed with what it's allowing me to do with (what at the end of the day) is a fairly old and crappy bass -

Just a thought -
Check out my latest song called The Only Ghost Who Cares
Lennon714 said 471 days ago (December 3rd, 2008)
I'm
using an audio interface. My bass isn't the best, either. I think I just need to be more patient and mess with the settings, EQ, etc. I also probably need to concentrate and more controlled bass playing. Sloppy guitar has its place, but sloppy bass is never a good thing.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
tempie said 470 days ago (December 3rd, 2008)
what would you hear?
i hear very cool keys - love the little melody that carries the verse. other commentors are right, a wicked bass groove would sound great, something a la Peter Murphy circa 'Deep'.

Like the shock of the chorus when it kicks in - the crescendoing (that a word?) lead guitar - also the way your vocals gain some attitude for the chorus.

GREAT break with the chimes (only make believe)...

Really like this tune - lots of nice transitions and a solid chorus.


Check out my latest song called LOVES GONNA LIVE HERE (NEW MIX)
Lennon714 said 470 days ago (December 3rd, 2008)
Thanks
If crescendoing isn't a word, I'll make it my honorary word of the day. Thanks for the listen and the compliments. Means a lot coming from one of MJ's most acclaimed new comers. You've got very solid material.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
Moses said 470 days ago (December 3rd, 2008)
Enjoyed
the song. I liked certain parts a lot, as well as the melody. There were a few things my taste would like to be different. The effect on the vocals in the chorus (doubling, chorus) whatever it was I didn't like so much. I think it would've sounded better if you just left your voice as is. I loved the parts where you sang "Don't worry, little girl. It's only make believe". Reassuring in a very haunting way. On the part that says "deliver us" and "In power and anxiety we trust" I think it would be nice to hear some extra emotion in your voice. Those are some emotionally loaded lines. Thanks for sharing, I'll be back for another listen I'm sure.
Check out my latest song called Juice
Lennon714 said 470 days ago (December 4th, 2008)
thanks
Moses! I am a HUGE fan of criticism. I think you're spot on about the issues you take. I'm going to be tinkering with this again soon. Along with putting real bass on it, I'll see about taking out the doubled vocal on the prechorus. One of my constant criticisms is that I need is more emotion is my vocals. You're definitely right about the "deliver us" line. It's a little "blah". Maybe I'll try to touch that up, too.

Thanks again for your honesty. It's always good to hear what people like, but it's most helpful to hear what needs to be improved.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
Moses said 468 days ago (December 5th, 2008)
Ha
I'm glad you are a fan of criticism. Some people don't take it well. While criticism may seem negative, the underlying reason for it (mine anyway) is because I enjoy the piece and would like to see it improve and know the potential is there. My hope for my criticism is that it would help the artist better analyze his or her song. Whether the artist agrees with my critique or not is up to them! But I figure I should just say it how I see it (or hear it).
Check out my latest song called Juice
bud said 470 days ago (December 4th, 2008)
This is great
so glad I stopped by - I really like the space and structural change-ups. Excellent guitar playing throughout - from the little up-strokes to the overdriven power chords. I find the vocals perfectly balanced - not buried at all - and the lyrics work for me too.
Check out my latest song called All Fall Down w/Particledots
Lennon714 said 469 days ago (December 4th, 2008)
Thanks Bud
I'm flattered you think so highly of the tune. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
craft said 469 days ago (December 4th, 2008)
nice delivery
Well done.. This song soundz really good
Check out my latest song called Present (feat. Einarus)
Lennon714 said 468 days ago (December 5th, 2008)
Thanks, craft!
I appreciate you stopping by and giving it a listen. I really love that tune you just did with Ridd. great stuff!
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
egobandit said 468 days ago (December 5th, 2008)
When
you sing your not listening and your not worth the song just drills through my soul powrful!
Check out my latest song called some sort of expert
Lennon714 said 468 days ago (December 6th, 2008)
haha
I'm really not sure what you mean. If you like it, cool. If you don't, cool. Thanks for giving it a listen either way.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
Lennon714 said 468 days ago (December 6th, 2008)
hahahahahahaha!
nevermind. I get what you mean now. Good lord I'm an idiot.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
dreadmon said 464 days ago (December 10th, 2008)
It's been said and not
Really great tune, man - my crits have been covered. My praise has not - you've got a nice mix of Radiohead, Peter Gabriel and Elvis Costello going on here - intriguing listening and one to play over and over again. Interested to see where you might take it next!
Check out my latest song called Dive!
Lennon714 said 454 days ago (December 19th, 2008)
Thanks
A lot of my favorites there. I'm glad you liked it and I'm glad to even get mention with those names.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
Moviz said 454 days ago (December 19th, 2008)
I just
think this is tops.... I love it whether the lyrics make sense or not..... they will to someone, cheers M
Check out my latest song called The Hub of Life
Lennon714 said 454 days ago (December 19th, 2008)
lyrics
haha. you're right. I don't hate them all. I think the "You're not even worth the breath I'm praying" part is pretty cold hearted, thus midly interesting.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
VicDiesel said 442 days ago (December 31st, 2008)
Good mix
On the whole this sounds pretty good. Definitely the part starting at 1:15 sounds very cohesive.

I see a bit of a problem with that celesta and the rhodes in the beginning. The celesta is definitely too far forward in the mix, but those clear sounds don't seem to gel with the distorted guitars. Where you mix it into the chorus at the end doesn't work for me. I'm not sure how you would make it work. Maybe those sounds are simply not meant to go together. A grand piano would probably be a sound that is more idiomatic for the rock genre.

Btw, what are the squeaky sounds at 0:49 and further? A cheap drum stool? It's probably something legitimate, but it doesn't work very well here. In my latest track I had a guitar loop somewhere, and a couple hours of mixing later I was thinking "what on earth is that annoying sound". Turns out that, buried in the mix, only a couple of stray notes remain from an otherwise fine guitar lick. And out it goes.


Check out my latest song called Big man
Lennon714 said 442 days ago (December 31st, 2008)
Thanks, Vic
Thanks for stopping by and giving it a listen. Thanks also for your honest critique. The sounds around 0:49 are actually part of one of the drum loops I used. You caught me on being too lazy to edit them out. I didn't like them at first and then I just got used to them and don't even hear them anymore. I'll have to work them out next time. Thanks again!
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
TobinMueller said 431 days ago (January 12th, 2009)
Nice arranging
Sorry it took so long to get back to you. Thanks for asking for my input. Here goes: I dig the e-piano opening. Very front and immediate, nicely mixed against the guitars; altho it seems distorted guitars should end up being louder when cranked than a piano. The very cool toy sounds are too loud, I think.

Your voice is a tad too soft for a pop mix, for the most part (until the end), and I think could benefit from an exciter and a touch of reverb (in order to fold it into the mix better).

All the shifts in tempo and tonal colors are very cool. I like the sense of dream, especially the conceptual use of toy sounds vs distortion gtr.

At the 4 min. mark, when the drums kick in, it sounds way too MIDI for me, with a lack of human-quality to the drumming, especially in the cymbals. I'd boost the cymbal volume and maybe deploy two kinds of cymbals to get a sense of variation. Also, I'd use a touch of syncopation in the drumming, so everything isn't in emphasized beats, and maybe alter the pattern to give it a human touch, at least once or twice. Also, not sure if I'd end the song with a unison downbeat hit - consider adding 2 gtr chord hits or something, so the human element gets the final word, with as long a sustain as the guitar allows (or up until you can hear your fingers fall off the strings, to remind us it is a human playing). I'd do this in response to the use of other MIDI sounds, and it might leave the listener more satisfied.

I really enjoyed the track. I look forward to hearing additional takes and versions.
Check out my latest song called Seafood Gumbo w/ AngelaHope
Lennon714 said 429 days ago (January 13th, 2009)
Thanks
Great detail, Tobin. You've given me a lot to look in to - which I really appreciate. I'm so with you on the MIDI drums sounding like they've got the soul of a robot. I've been toying with the idea of pushing the timing around on them to give them less of an exact feel. You're also dead on about the distorted guitars needing to be pushed up. Thanks so much for your input. It's truly valued.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
Mckenzie said 425 days ago (January 17th, 2009)
woooo
Man this is brilliant, i can't believe i didn't here this before. I just love the sounds you're using here, that contrast between the 'twinkly' almost child-like (the instruments NOT the playing that is!) and those great guitar sounds works amazingly. I also really like the drum sample you use initially when the beat kicks in, it's very 'chunky' and satisfying. The vox are very catchy, especially during the chorus's. I think (as Tobin mentioned) that for me, the only thing i can pick out is the midi drum track that comes i with the bass toward the end. I only pick up on that because i didn't feel that it did the song as a whole the finish it deserved.
Thanks loads for this, an excellent song, downloaded and fav'd

:)
Mckenzie
Check out my latest song called Carriage Girl
Lennon714 said 423 days ago (January 19th, 2009)
Thanks man
I really appreciate your comments. Aren't you famous yet? Who do I need to write to make that happen?

The midi drums do sound a bit too mechanical. I'll have to use Michael2's suggestion and put my midi tracks through camel crusher to give them a bit more of a legitimate sound. The bass should be real, too. I think that part does end up sounding kind of chinsey (sp).
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
Mckenzie said 425 days ago (January 17th, 2009)
one more thing!
forgot to mentionthat i watched wall.e the other day and thought it was amazing! The story, the graphics, i don't usually enjoy that type of thing, but it's actually one of favorite films of 08!!! Completely ireelevant i know. Anyway, again, fantastic song duuude..
Check out my latest song called Carriage Girl
Lennon714 said 423 days ago (January 19th, 2009)
haha
Wall-E is my top movie of 2008... and that's on the real. What's that like 90 home runs for Pixar in a row? Damn.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
mikkinylund said 401 days ago (February 10th, 2009)
Real bass, real bass, real bass!!!
Only if you want to, and of course, one day when/if you're not lazy (I know all about it). I really like the vocals, the guitar is also cool. What I like the best is the synth sounds, the melodies, and the soundscapes. This is a very good song you have going here, almost at perfection. Thanks for sharing! /Mikki
Check out my latest song called Chelsea
Lennon714 said 400 days ago (February 11th, 2009)
bass
I really do agree about the bass. Unfortunately, just today I lent my bass to a new band member so I'm not sure when I'll be able to put anything down. Thanks for your comment and your listen! You're too kind.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
Nick_Flash said 358 days ago (March 26th, 2009)
dig the synth
The slow synth line sounds really cool. I was hoping it would lead to heavy guitars and it did. Mixing is one of my worst enemies also - I give it so much time and then I'm just done. I got a pair of near field monitors and it's helped out a lot.
Got any new stuff in the works?
Check out my latest song called Wake Up
Lennon714 said 358 days ago (March 26th, 2009)
thanks
It's funny you ask. I just moved a few weeks ago and plan to get the music room set up this weekend. Hopefully I'll have something put together in a few days to post.

I need monitors badly. I just mix in my headphones, test in the car, repeat.

Thanks for listening!
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
hooverfry said 357 days ago (March 26th, 2009)
twinkle into a blast
like the juxtaposition of the "twinkly kids piano" and the roaring distortion of the chorus guitar. nice. the vocals do seem a little flat but not bad. lyrics are tough for me too. a lot a times i go with the 1st thing that comes to mind just to get the melody out. nice song. thanks for sharing.
Check out my latest song called Walking On The Air
Lennon714 said 324 days ago (April 28th, 2009)
thanks
for the listen. For some reason I couldn't get the vocals right on this song. Believe it or not, the vocals you hear are bits and pieces of like 10 takes.

I'm the same way with lyrics. I desperately want to say something important, but usually just say garbage.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
Bob6stringer said 330 days ago (April 23rd, 2009)
Your confidence comes through.
I can't believe I've missed anything you've done since I came here ... and in fact I've missed most of your catalog. I'm going to bookmark you, thanks to the new interface, and try to make my way through.

RE: the bass banter, I can see something busy in the background filling-in the bass/mid area. My preference--which is not your style and is generally not in fashion--would be to see some riffy-ness in the bass in that empty space. But then again, there's a great discipline to the music that gives the full spotlight to the humanity of your vocal. (Very confident, btw).
Check out my latest song called The Devil Beat Me to Her
Lennon714 said 324 days ago (April 28th, 2009)
snoop around
I don't have many songs up, and some of them are not even recorded on GB so don't get your hopes up! :). I hear you on the bass. I actually do want something busy to fill it out. I've got my bass at home now so I'll probably try something in the next few days and repost.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
_Rex_ said 301 days ago (May 22nd, 2009)
Hey
I really Like this song.. I think You rock At writing cool tunes.
Check out my latest song called Let It slide (No Use For A Name Cover)
Lennon714 said 300 days ago (May 22nd, 2009)
thanks
rex. I think you rock and rocking my world.
Check out my latest song called Loss For Words
_Rex_ said 301 days ago (May 22nd, 2009)
Hey
I really Like this song.. I think You rock At writing cool tunes.
Check out my latest song called Let It slide (No Use For A Name Cover)
Heroin_Marys said 226 days ago (August 4th, 2009)
I think
you rock at being a Rex Offender.
Check out my latest song called Bad Robot
Heroin_Marys said 226 days ago (August 4th, 2009)
What
do you think the liklihood is of Billy Joel getting absolutely knocked out on the drink and driving his car in to your house? If you lived in Long Island I'd say the chancres are high. They probably sell "Inebriated Billy Joel crashing in to your house" insurance. Which sucks, because I'd totally buy it, he'd crash in to my house and his blood alcohol wouldn't be high enough to be considered "inebriated" and the bastards wouldn't pay up. Jack asses.
Check out my latest song called Bad Robot
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The terms alternative rock and alternative music[1] were coined in the early 1980s to describe punk rock-inspired music genres which didn't fit into the mainstream genres of the time. At times it was used as catch-all phrase for rock music from under

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