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The Flower Gun (Ver 2)


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Description
Update: edited lyrics, new vocals, shorten song, re-arranging, added/removed instruments, etc.
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Lyrics
The Flower Gun

The rain has stopped in their valley of pearls.
They're always happy children in their world.
In a long forgotten city they find a gun; a heavy old Colt.
They don't know what it is, never seen a thing like it – before.
They fly to a nearby park, filled with friends and wise old men.
They look at what they found - and shakes their heads around:

Hey! Put some flowers in that gun,
it belongs to the sun.
Hey! Let's load that gun:
with seeds for the sun!

They loaded the gun with seeds, while vise men spoke of peace.
They buried it into the ground, and sat down to watch it grow.
Someone played the guitar, and a woman played the lovely harp.
For nights and days, until one morning the first leaf left the pipe.

Hey! Put some flowers in that gun,
it belongs to the sun.
Hey! Let's load that gun:
with seeds for the sun!

In a wood, thick as a book, they eat of fruits larger than their heads.
One child asked the other: "What was the purpose of that so called gun?"
"I do not know what it is, said the other, "and I don't want to know".
Soon, the image vanished, and where replaced with other things they found.

Hey! Put some flowers in that gun,
it belongs to the sun.
Hey! Let's load that gun:
with seeds for the sun!

© M09
Song Stats
Hits: 4595
Comments: 17
Fans: 17
Plays: 203
Downloads: 0
Votes: 4
Uploaded: Mar 06, 2009 - 12:33:48 PM
Last Updated: Mar 06, 2009 - 12:33:48 PM Last Played: Aug 11, 2017 - 12:28:10 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

Creative Commons

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Hardware:
Bass, Guitars, Keys, Microphone
Software:
GB
Comments
sloparts said 3207 days ago (March 6th, 2009)
First
Be right back
Check out my latest song called Quack's Blues
sloparts said 3207 days ago (March 6th, 2009)
Hello there Mikki
I like this one even better than the first one. In this case shorter is better, The whole thing seems more cohesive and seems to flow better. I still love the music at the chorus and the lyrics seem to read better and sound better. I would not have thought you could improve on this but you have.

Great work Mikki

Ed
Check out my latest song called Quack's Blues
mikkinylund said 3207 days ago (March 6th, 2009)
Ed
Again, thank you! This is not there yet by any means, read below, but I am glad the song itself seem to carry a certain interest enough to keep it going and growing. Perhaps I can surprise you yet one more time? :)

Peace,

Mikki
Check out my latest song called Rune XV
TobinMueller said 3207 days ago (March 6th, 2009)
Eloi
I like the length much better. It is easier to follow the story, but I still have some difficulty following the specific wording especially at the ending of certain lines. I'm not really sure why you need that third stanza, and, even tho you varied the melody slightly, I was thinking more of a real bridge, with perhaps a key change up and a different feel, and even a different take on the story, to add a new wrinkle or dimension. But, overall, I'm not sure the arrangement has enough life in it to sustain multiple listens. Yet, I think there is great storytelling potential, since it is essentially a storytelling piece.

Also, I still think you could still play up the Donovan feel and make this more celebratory, more flower childish, more full of light. The irony might be stronger. One thing occurred to me, very minor: If they have no idea what a gun is, how can one of the children ask about it by name?

I like this idea very much. Just trying to help you hone and develop the concept. (This is the sort of thing I have to do 7 times over when writing a musical.)
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
mikkinylund said 3207 days ago (March 6th, 2009)
Thank you, thank you!
I am getting so much pickier myself these days, and really appreciate the above critique and suggestions. I believe I need to let the song rest for a bit, and come back to it with new light. My voice is kind of stuck with the original concept, and although I sing it differentially, it doesn't not change the concept enough. Like I said, I need a break from it, perhaps after going into the studio tomorrow to work on a totally different song, and with other voices, it will give me the light I seek.

I am not familiar with Donovan, I am afraid to say, and there are many artist I probably should lend an ear too. I certainly like the "more flower childish" as a notion.

I think from the original lyrics, it was more clear that the wild men said: Hey, put some flowers in that gun... This may have got forgotten in this release and perhaps caused confusion in the previous one as well (my girlfriend pointed out the same thing, and only after explaining it she got it, which one of course wants to avoid)... I will likely re-write some, and perhaps avoiding to even use gun as a reference, other than in the beginning... Something like that they find it, and bring to the elders, which also have no idea what it is and says: Hey, put some flowers in that thing, it belong with the sun, Hey, let's load that thing, with seeds to see it grow..." I believe with re-writing it, it can become even stronger, perhaps more symbolic...

I don't mind this type of criticism at all; it's all constructive. I haven't gone back to my songs much previously, but are really starting to appreciate the construction of a song, instead of just writing and performing it.

Thank you very much!

Mikki
Check out my latest song called Rune XV
Feter said 3207 days ago (March 6th, 2009)
The Flower Gun
Incredible trippy dreamy soundtrack song ...your vocal work here just
belong tot he end of the 60s a true classic performance here ..the whole
mixing and arrangement is terrific as all your songs ...thnx alot for sharin !!!!
Check out my latest song called Roll with it
LunaTrick said 3207 days ago (March 6th, 2009)
There is a fragility...
In your music that makes it really attractive... a tender quality that occasionally gives way to a delicious strangeness. I really like this piece a lot!
Check out my latest song called Luna Gypsy Heart II (Eternal Firelight)
Vic Holman said 3207 days ago (March 6th, 2009)
Ah Ooooowee
works for me on a lot of levels. I like the dreamy quality to this song. the layering and diversity has a nice hypnotic style.
Check out my latest song called For You To Decide
peacepiano said 3206 days ago (March 7th, 2009)
New here
Well, new to this great song. Cool use of backing vocals, and dramatic vocals on verses. Build up to choruses tops it all and makes this constantly interesting to listen to.

Thanks
Bill
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PinkFreud said 3206 days ago (March 7th, 2009)
Like it
Very interesting story and cool accompaniment. Good choices of sounds and structure - very trippy piece.
Check out my latest song called Siolencer
egobandit said 3204 days ago (March 9th, 2009)
Flowers in a gun
It has a Peter Gabriel feel to it. I like how all the parts fit together in this. Great harmonies in this, enjoyed this allot!
Check out my latest song called Twilight Time
lengold said 3204 days ago (March 9th, 2009)
This could
go on forever as far as I'm concerned.
Cheers
Len

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hooverfry said 3196 days ago (March 18th, 2009)
wow
this is really cool. like the lyrics and story. love the chorus, the last one best with the guitars backing. backing vocals are really nice. great work.
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JOAN said 3190 days ago (March 23rd, 2009)
nice
it's a jewel
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TheWeirdBrothers said 3122 days ago (May 30th, 2009)
mikki mikki
you are one talented dude. always a pleasure to listen to your music. always so original and pure, deep bow friend.
Check out my latest song called That was Reggae, Nope
Clambake said 3112 days ago (June 9th, 2009)
I am a Fan
I have only been lurking so far on this site and this is my first post but I just have to say "good work" mikkinylund. I like all your songs but this one is my favorite.
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papag said 2692 days ago (August 3rd, 2010)
I can almost taste the textures
This song is so groovy I want my own flower gun. Nice...Fav'd, wish I could DL
Check out my latest song called Chinese Flutes (first draft)
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Name: Mikki
Location: Brooklyn NY USA
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I was born and grew up in Finland, Scandinavia where I attended my first Art School followed by art studies in Sweden, and a noble fictional writing school. That was followed by an advertising and marketing degree. I am also a painter and I've had se... [see more]

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