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OFF YERSELF


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I was having a tough day, a tough week - it turned into a tough month or two or three.... I kidded about fantastic suicides and one of my good buddies told me about a guy handcuffing himself to his fiance and jumping into a wood chipper....Wow. Lucky for her, his skull shut the wood chipper down and she was spared. People in Arizona talk about the affects of the intense heat.... Anyway, I thought about suicide (the concept only) and came up with a rather brash, offensive response to the idea of suicide. We all know someone who "suicided" and we all suffer the loss of that individual. I think about the many options that are so much better and way less final. This lighthearted idea/discussion turned into a more thought out idea for me. I thought, "if yer gonna suicide yerself, make it bigger and better than every suicide before, or fade into history, baby". Kinda my incentive to someone to either do something major historic, or DON'T do it at all- (I prefer the ladder).

Part 1 of the song is pretty much insensitive and tongue in cheek, then it gets all contemplative and hopefully discouraging to a candidate of finality. I hope it pisses them them off and makes them think about how stupid suicide is to it's survivors. A million people love you and have no idea how sad you are. Tell them, they'd love to love you.
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Lyrics
A MILLION WAYS THAT YOU CAN OFF YOURSELF
YOU BORE ME TAKING THE PILLS OFF THE SHELF
COLD LIQUID PLUMBER HELPS YOU WASH THEM DOWN
THINK ABOUT YOUR POSTURE WHEN YOUR BODY’S FOUND

SO BE CREATIVE WHEN YOU LEAVE THIS LIFE
JUMP IN THE CHIPPER HANDCUFFED TO YOUR WIFE?
I WANNA SEE IT ON THE HEADLINE NEWS
LIKE WHEN THE PRESIDENT WAS DUCKING SHOES
INTERRUPT THE SUPERBOWL HALFTIME SHOW
NO ONE WILL MISS IT / EVERYONE WILL KNOW
AND YOU’LL BE FAMOUS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

SYNTHO BEEP/LEAD GUITAR/BREAK

(THINK ABOUT IT/ASK YOURSELF)

WILL IT END WORLD HUNGER AND STOP THE WAR?
WILL IT CURE CANCER, SWINE FLU AND MORE?
WILL IT GIVE US PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST?
WILL IT LET THE HOMELESS PLAN THE NEXT FEAST?
WILL IT PUT A MAN ON THE PLANET MARS?
ELIMINATE THE NEED TO PUT A MAN BEHIND BARS?
WILL IT RID THE WORLD OF TICKS AND FLEAS?
AND CLEAN THE EARTH AND THE AIR AND THE SEAS OF DISEASE?
WILL IT SAVE THAT CHILD IN THE ICU?
WHOSE PARENTS PRAY FOR A DONOR OF A KIDNEY OR TWO?
WILL IT MATTER TO ME?
WILL IT MATTER TO YOU?
WILL IT MATTER?
Song Stats
Hits: 3042
Comments: 31
Fans: 32
Plays: 214
Downloads: 121

Uploaded: Oct 05, 2009 - 11:23:37 PM
Last Updated: Oct 05, 2009 - 11:23:37 PM Last Played: Jan 29, 2017 - 09:39:38 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

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Hardware:
Hondo II bass (black and scratchy), RATT pedal, Sexy Black Bank of America Credit Card Pick, microphone.
Software:
GB
Comments
Feter said 2762 days ago (October 5th, 2009)
OFF YERSELF
Hey ...this is a cool rockin stuff ..nice
guitar line ...you based the song over a
key (moogs like) sound but the gutiar hold
it more ..wished the bass more boosted ...
cool song ..thnx alot for sharin !!!!
Check out my latest song called Roll with it
cjdaley said 2762 days ago (October 5th, 2009)
woody woddchipper
Musically, it's everything from your bag of tricks coming beautifully together, and I really like the break and the guitar coming in the middle of the verse.

I like bleak irony of the song, too ("the rest of your life", " will it matter to you ?" great lines), with a light moral touch that puts everything in perspective.
Check out my latest song called Big Bong Theory Overture (By the Monggz)
ramonaji said 2762 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
This is GREAT!!!
who knew a song about such a topic could be so fun?
Check out my latest song called Say Bye Bye
rsorensen said 2762 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
wow man
this song really makes me want to off myself. KILLER lyrics and the synths are amazing. good idea for a song and very well EXECUTED. love it.
Check out my latest song called Again
rsorensen said 2762 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
ohyeah
awesome drawing
Check out my latest song called Again
Moviz said 2762 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
highly original
and very entertaining, instrumentally as well as lyrically and with those excellent vocals it sounds just great..... plenty thought went into this and you really pulled it off, regards M
Check out my latest song called Angels
DWL said 2762 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
Excellent!
Suicide, the ultimate 2 fingers (or one if you're American) to the world. A favourite method is to throw yourself under a commuter train. Makes a horrible mess and disrupts services for hours.

A clever, funny and very well done song.

Loved the lyrics and the sentiment.

Cheers

Dick


Check out my latest song called War with Spain
kingbee said 2762 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
hidden depths
Great stuff and great approach to the subject.
For some reason the guitars were reminding me of Stuart Adamson from Big Country..which is ironic cos he was another suicide case.
If only they could hear the love that we give.
Anyway, great track
Really enjoyed it
cheers
Check out my latest song called No expense spared
lavalamp said 2761 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
Don't know what to say...
...but, BRILLIANT writing. You are a true original.

Dave
Check out my latest song called The Shallow People
blindsidedpoets said 2761 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
OFF YERSELF
Disturbing. But very clever. Musically, and lyrically top notch stuff for sure!
Check out my latest song called Meaning Of
jgurner said 2761 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
I don't know...
whether to laugh or be disturbed... or both. :)

Great tune and I think it plugs into something that goes through everyone's head at sometime or another. We just don't TALK about it.

But you SING about it brilliantly. This works for me on every level.

Nicely done.
Check out my latest song called F%@k Fifty!
PrototypeEightyOne said 2761 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
And the...
...the contradiction continues...

depressing and dark topic turned into an upbeat fun loving track. cool concept and execution.
Check out my latest song called The Dead can Dance
Lennon714 said 2761 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
Wonderful
Nothing like a suicide tune to tickle your fancy. This is great and I love the duality of the song. I don't find it insensitive at all. It's just real. A topic many find taboo and brush off, but you deal with it head on. Very rock and roll. Love the music. Nobody but 5EA. that break is tantalizing.
Check out my latest song called The Robots of Coconino County
MarkHolbrook said 2761 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
Punk suicide!
Wow... This is cool... love the doubled vocal effect... The guitars are great! Nice work!
Check out my latest song called Corn Whiskey
lengold said 2761 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
Absolutely
brilliant
Bob.
Cheers
Len

Check out my latest song called Decent Girl
Willywagga said 2761 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
brilliant synths
hectic main vox, powerful message put across ala B52 mode.
Simply brilliant
Check out my latest song called The Jes on Sea Road
Heroin_Marys said 2761 days ago (October 6th, 2009)
I'm so sorry
it's been a tough go for you lately. Hold on while I call the wahmbulance. Some of us commit suicide to protect Desmond and let him know it's "not penny's boat". I want this three minutes of my life back.
Check out my latest song called Bad Robot
tempie said 2760 days ago (October 7th, 2009)
off yerself
dude i love this, it's great, just a fun and quirky little bastard of a tune with a great guitar hook and enough cutesy synth to bring john hughes back from the dead (yeah eric i stole that conept from you, but you were right, so i figure its public domain).
Check out my latest song called Summer Song
Diviner said 2760 days ago (October 7th, 2009)
Good to hear you
with this interesting track. Like how you have panned the vocals, very effective. Cool track Bob.
Check out my latest song called Away ft Lokka
blaky smith said 2760 days ago (October 7th, 2009)
Cool
Great piece Bob, funny and very well done on every way, with excellent vocals, bravo !
Marc
Check out my latest song called Un jour de décembre
apod said 2760 days ago (October 7th, 2009)
Excellent reaction to crappy cycle
go for the truth the irony and the jugular in a hail of synths and scrappy guitars. A singular slice of 5EA - just what the doctor ordered. No - not Dr. K.
BTW - I think the singing lessons are really starting to pay off.
Check out my latest song called pod-fodder-of-funk-rock-kraut
Vic Holman said 2760 days ago (October 7th, 2009)
you know what i think?
i think they need to start broadcasting "It's a Wonderful Life" already.

hang in there buddy. there are those days and/or weeks.
Check out my latest song called Blue Shoes
alexweiler said 2759 days ago (October 8th, 2009)
Punk attitudes ...
.... can I hear a breeze of "Clash", Bob? No matter, I stayed and listened.
Funny and excellent track!

Alex
Check out my latest song called The Glitch
dave_b said 2758 days ago (October 9th, 2009)
Off Yourself
Vocals are an excellent fit for the song - really brings the attitude. Come to think of it the guitar does too. Very creative lyrics, and well produced.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
mike_d said 2757 days ago (October 10th, 2009)
Dude-
Love the lyrics! I feel bad for not being around MJ's due to my crazy schedule and all. (Although, it's funny how the world suddenly comes to a stop when you screw up your back, lol!)

Anywho, great track Bob. Loved it!
Check out my latest song called Bleed out (redo)
echoroom said 2757 days ago (October 11th, 2009)
Cruel Bob
... but I know you're too sweet to carry this one all the way through. A catchy little toon, even though its about... DEATH. Like the mid-way break, and then the change in mood - works really well. Great to hear from you at any time, but this is kinda epic ... more pleeze!
Check out my latest song called Communion Day
DarkPlanet said 2749 days ago (October 18th, 2009)
Almost missed this
enjoyed the dark rawness o f this punk rock, good stuff Bob!

I like how the break works it all out...best creativity comes from times of crisis
Tom

Check out my latest song called Summer Glaze (With cchaplin)
ste said 2749 days ago (October 18th, 2009)
great work
love this, nice one
Check out my latest song called screwed
Relic67 said 2747 days ago (October 20th, 2009)
i'm shocked and appalled
"jump in the chipper handcuffed to your wife" - LOL. has to be one of the best lines ever.
I think MJ is a good place for brash and offensive songs.
Just check out colleague "Sewer Rod" sometime!
Anyway I really liked the songwriting, performance and production on this one... applause!
Check out my latest song called Dead Archive
particledots said 2747 days ago (October 21st, 2009)
brilliant, brilliant
and i thought i was brian eno but no, you are eno circa 1973...this could have come from here come the warm jets
brilliant suicide singing
Check out my latest song called I DID WHAT I COULDN'T
Montag said 2289 days ago (January 21st, 2011)
How insensitive!
This song is an affront to common, decent folk who don't even discuss suicide let along look upon it as entertainment! How dare you! It makes me want to douse myself with gasoline and set myself ablaze!
Check out my latest song called The System Will Know
Artist Info
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Name: Bob Dorsey
Location: Valrico FL USA
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Just your average guy with average songs about average subjects from average future worlds with average cyborgs ruling over average humans. The Amazing Musicians I've CLABBED with include His Boy Sherman: Donna Lavalamp: It Was A... [see more]

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Genre Info
The terms alternative rock and alternative music[1] were coined in the early 1980s to describe punk rock-inspired music genres which didn't fit into the mainstream genres of the time. At times it was used as catch-all phrase for rock music from under

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