OFF YERSELF

I was having a tough day, a tough week - it turned into a tough month or two or three.... I kidded about fantastic suicides and one of my good buddies told me about a guy handcuffing himself to his fiance and jumping into a wood chipper....Wow. Lucky for her, his skull shut the wood chipper down and she was spared. People in Arizona talk about the affects of the intense heat.... Anyway, I thought about suicide (the concept only) and came up with a rather brash, offensive response to the idea of suicide. We all know someone who "suicided" and we all suffer the loss of that individual. I think about the many options that are so much better and way less final. This lighthearted idea/discussion turned into a more thought out idea for me. I thought, "if yer gonna suicide yerself, make it bigger and better than every suicide before, or fade into history, baby". Kinda my incentive to someone to either do something major historic, or DON'T do it at all- (I prefer the ladder).

Part 1 of the song is pretty much insensitive and tongue in cheek, then it gets all contemplative and hopefully discouraging to a candidate of finality. I hope it pisses them them off and makes them think about how stupid suicide is to it's survivors. A million people love you and have no idea how sad you are. Tell them, they'd love to love you.

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A MILLION WAYS THAT YOU CAN OFF YOURSELF
YOU BORE ME TAKING THE PILLS OFF THE SHELF
COLD LIQUID PLUMBER HELPS YOU WASH THEM DOWN
THINK ABOUT YOUR POSTURE WHEN YOUR BODY’S FOUND

SO BE CREATIVE WHEN YOU LEAVE THIS LIFE
JUMP IN THE CHIPPER HANDCUFFED TO YOUR WIFE?
I WANNA SEE IT ON THE HEADLINE NEWS
LIKE WHEN THE PRESIDENT WAS DUCKING SHOES
INTERRUPT THE SUPERBOWL HALFTIME SHOW
NO ONE WILL MISS IT / EVERYONE WILL KNOW
AND YOU’LL BE FAMOUS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

SYNTHO BEEP/LEAD GUITAR/BREAK

(THINK ABOUT IT/ASK YOURSELF)

WILL IT END WORLD HUNGER AND STOP THE WAR?
WILL IT CURE CANCER, SWINE FLU AND MORE?
WILL IT GIVE US PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST?
WILL IT LET THE HOMELESS PLAN THE NEXT FEAST?
WILL IT PUT A MAN ON THE PLANET MARS?
ELIMINATE THE NEED TO PUT A MAN BEHIND BARS?
WILL IT RID THE WORLD OF TICKS AND FLEAS?
AND CLEAN THE EARTH AND THE AIR AND THE SEAS OF DISEASE?
WILL IT SAVE THAT CHILD IN THE ICU?
WHOSE PARENTS PRAY FOR A DONOR OF A KIDNEY OR TWO?
WILL IT MATTER TO ME?
WILL IT MATTER TO YOU?
WILL IT MATTER?

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Uploaded: Oct 05, 2009 - 11:23:37 PM
Last Updated: Oct 05, 2009 - 11:23:37 PM Last Played: Nov 22, 2009 - 11:21:51 AM

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