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Summer (W.I.P)


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This is a song I started working on a few weeks ago but it has been lying in my proverbial desk drawer for some time, now. Mostly, I have yet to complete the lyrics for it.
Also, I suspect it might need some sort of middle section.

That's where you come in, dear MJers!
Please - give me all the pointers/tips/criticism you can muster up :)

Oh, b.t.w - My little brother, Baldvin, is the guitarist in this one.

©2010
Einar Sverrir Tryggvason
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Song Stats
Hits: 1929
Comments: 14
Fans: 15
Plays: 245
Downloads: 0

Uploaded: Jul 15, 2010 - 07:55:21 PM
Last Updated: Jul 15, 2010 - 07:55:21 PM Last Played: Mar 19, 2017 - 10:29:35 PM
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Comments
alackbass said 2506 days ago (July 15th, 2010)
Summer (W.I.P)
You could put a vocal on it, but why? The piano is so strong melodically I wonder if it leaves room for a vocal. This piece is excellent now.

About the need for a middle section or bridge. I find myself debating that all the time in my own songs. The Beatles did a lot of material on the Sgt. Pepper album without a bridge (Lucy in the Sky). I wouldn't force a bridge in here.

I really like the acoustic guitar.
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crissew said 2499 days ago (July 22nd, 2010)
I hear you
but I think bridges are needed even more nowadays because attention spans have gotten so short. The whole world has ADD now, not just me. People can't even listen to a whole song on their ipods anymore without skipping to the next one. There needs to be LOTS of stuff going on int he song and it needs to be changing to keep people interested. I have found this out through my experience on other sites where anonymous people review music. They want tons of stuff going on in the background and they want TONS of crazy stuff to happen with the vocals and they want a bridge to break it up. The Beatles may not have even been commercially viable today. Sad but true. A good melody and lyrics is not enough anymore. In fact it seems like it has become secondary to image and short attention span value
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Ed Hannifin said 2506 days ago (July 15th, 2010)
I love the acoustic guitar....
It puts a bit of wood & steel into the otherwise synthesized soundscape, and that's just enough to take it into another sonic space...

I think it's time to write something with words and a hook and a singable melody, Einar.... that isn't about beer... almost forgot to mention that...

Keep working on this one... This could be that first international Einarus hit single... Please don't think I'm kidding....
Audiologic said 2506 days ago (July 15th, 2010)
Summer (W.I.P)
The beginning reminds me a bit of George Winston.

I already like this as is - maybe even without the drums so it is a bit more toned down / peaceful. Maybe you could create 2 versions - one just piano and guitar and another with vocals / everything else.
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Symphony101 said 2506 days ago (July 16th, 2010)
Personal taste
I agree, the piano is quite expressive here. Though I think, trying a vocal would be still interesting to try. This is really my personal taste but I would probably add some pads or strings on the beginning very smoothly (specially when the piano starts the melody) and then a little intensifies when the acoustic guitar kicks in.

I think a bridge would be cool, although the song is already nicely structured.

Just my humble opinion.
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Hickling_Stan said 2506 days ago (July 16th, 2010)
Like it
this feels so warm and engaging as an instrumental it quite happily stands on its own two feet, ( if music can have feet?!!). Really positive and uplifting. Enjoyed .Cheers Mark
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richard13 said 2506 days ago (July 16th, 2010)
WIP maybe...
but it sounds good to me as it is (maybe I have low standards ;-) However, based on what I've heard from you before, your HIGH standards will make this what it should be. Nice listen (three, actually).
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dave_b said 2506 days ago (July 16th, 2010)
Summer
Structurally the song goes A(Intro)ABABCABC. It takes 1:49 to get to C which sounds to me like your chorus where the hook would normally be. I've been taught the song needs to get to this point in 1 minute or under. Consider elimininating one AB at the start of the song to make this happen. The piano is carrying the melody at this point. It sounds fine, but to leave it that way may constrain the lyric/vocal phrasing if the sung melody attempts to double the piano line. The song has 3 sections so the bridge is less important for relief from repetition. However, it may make sense to include one in order to tie up a loose end from the lyric.
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RAVENS said 2504 days ago (July 17th, 2010)
Lovely
Geez, I can't be critical at all. It sounds terrific to me, it flows so beautifully. Doesn't need lyrics at all.

RAVEN ;-)
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Henke said 2503 days ago (July 19th, 2010)
Hi
To me this version does seem to need one of two things: Some vocals or a slight remix pulling the piano out from the background and into its full solo glory. And being an instrumentalist at heart, I vote for the latter ;-) Apart from this it sure has potential to be a hit, at least in my iTunes-list. Thanks.

/Henke
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Cori Ander said 2503 days ago (July 19th, 2010)
Lyrics came into my head
if i could take you to a better place, i'd love to

if i could take you for another ride, i'd love ...

when ... we come together soon i'll love

love you, till anoher time takes by

see your face, in the setting sun, and love

be in you, in another space and time
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jdholliday said 2502 days ago (July 19th, 2010)
Here's the beauty of
macjams, do it all, you could do 10 versions of this song, it's awesome!
It's magic, run with it, put it out there as an open collab,Or do another version with your lyric/vocal, or offer it up to an artist you admire to add their instrument or voice, etc.
The possibilities are unlimited here.

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Gaylen75 said 2502 days ago (July 20th, 2010)
Composition
This has everything it needs. Really great song and how disappointed was I that I cant download it? Congradulations.
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CrazeeFlootGrrl said 2485 days ago (August 5th, 2010)
Summer (W.I.P)
Very pretty! I like it! I'm not sure if it quite qualifies as pop though? Nice arrangement! Some vocals would be nice I'll admit... Thanks for sharing!
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Artist Info
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Name: Einar Sverrir Tryggvason
Location: Álftanes Iceland
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Collaborationswith Ziti: Remembrance Rampancy Running Scared Edge of Reason Stepping Down Redemption with Mystified: Beautiful Wall Eerie with Snowdragon: Wheels with Sloparts: The Lair of the Beast with Myck: L... [see more]

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Genre Info
Pop music is a music genre that developed from the mid-1950s as a softer alternative to rock 'n' roll and later to rock music. It has a focus on commercial recording, often orientated towards a youth market, usually through the medium of relatively s

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