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I Will Be Overthrown


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tf10music

 Genre: Folk-Rock
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Description
I took the excellent advice of JohnWhitehead and used a capo to put this song more into my vocal range. The tuning is derived from the relationship between the D, G, B, and E strings in a couple Tallest Man On Earth songs, then tuned down a step, then capo'd on the fifth fret. I particularly enjoyed writing the lyrics to this. I'd also like to note that the vocals are loud in the mix on purpose. I've been listening through a bunch of folk tunes and I've noticed that the most memorable ones tend to accentuate the vocals/lyrics, while the guitar colours the sonic experience as opposed to dominating it. I've noticed it in Dylan, Matsson (The Tallest Man On Earth), Ben Harper, Roscoe Holcomb, Bascom Lamar Lunsford, and in many early blues musicians. If it is ineffective, though, please let me know. Also, I'd like to thank everyone for all the advice they've given me -- it has aided the process immensely. I hope you all enjoy!
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Lyrics
There is a charcoal shadow pinned to the sunset,
There are statues that sway like ragged gods,
Our final sanctity afloat with idols in the sea,
Awash with milk and blood each dusty place we’ve trod.

There is a wild thrill that lays rest to the summer,
There is a poet at each pulpit in the fall:
Every word is driven down like a tempest to the ground,
Every breath the chill that gathers before a squall.

There is a voice that is bursting from the ocean,
There is a hollow thunder rolling to the shore,
Heartbeats bludgeoned into stone like an army overthrown,
And the tattered tide won’t rear up anymore.

O in each gasping valley I will breathe alone,
Traces of speech will be etched into stone,
And the orchestral sunsets will harden to bone,
And the blood in my veins will burst into gold –

I will be overthrown,
I will be overthrown.

There have been furrows chiseled into the darkness,
They will leave the orphaned night stranded for dead,
And the unraveling seams that embroider my dreams
Will choke voices into rubble with each thread.

And all the martyrdoms will bow to the silence
That crumbles into dust with each dawn,
And the crosses will be piled upon the bodies we reviled
Until the leprosies and lonely roads are gone.

There is verse in the pulse of each shadow,
There is loss upon the breeze that heralds spring,
And Lord, I would be blind and my pen would be resigned
Before the hum within my veins would cease to sing.

O in each gasping valley I will breathe alone,
Traces of speech will be etched into stone,
And the orchestral sunsets will harden to bone,
And the blood in my veins will burst into gold –

I will be overthrown,
I will be overthrown.


Song Stats
Hits: 1885
Comments: 32
Fans: 7
Plays: 82
Downloads: 0
Votes: 1
Uploaded: Sep 28, 2010 - 11:48:25 PM
Last Updated: Sep 28, 2010 - 11:48:25 PM Last Played: Apr 04, 2016 - 04:34:05 AM
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Comments
fasteddie said 2514 days ago (September 28th, 2010)
Cool song
Nice guitar playing. The lyrics and singing are really great as well. It sounds like you spend a lot of thought and effort on the lyrics.

Sounds pretty good. Keep at it.

I'm impressed by your playing in different tuning. I would be so lost without good ol' standard tuning. Even drop D throws me off.


Check out my latest song called On Borrowed Time
tf10music said 2514 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
Thanks man!
the lyrics were...kind of vomited out (not literally). When it comes to writing, I always produce bad material when I decide where I want to go before I get there. Thanks for the encouragement, though. As for the tuning, I have no idea what it's called, I just produced it by ear.

I have a friend who loves to play in dsus4, so we all have to mess around with our tuning when we jam...that was what made me able to wrap my head around this.

Cheers!
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
johnwhitehead said 2514 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
Overthrown
Wow, Ben...this is a giant leap forward. You're voice sounds great here. Still has a sweet higher range but with a rich lower resonance, too. Plus you have better pitch control in this range. Right on!
Check out my latest song called Wandering Blues
tf10music said 2514 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
thank you!
Very glad to hear that! I also recognize that I was flat on osme notes, and chose not to correct the pitch. I'll be working on more exactitude when it comes to vocals. That and emphasis when I sing. Thanks so much for your help! I would have been transitioning in and out of falsetto all over the place if I hadn't used the capo.

Cheers!
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
hackneybloke said 2514 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
i will be overthrown
this has great potential. there are many places where it could build. your lyrics as always are complex and interesting. your stuff will take off when you get used to the recording process. keep at it dude.
Check out my latest song called If Symptoms Persist
tf10music said 2514 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
Thanks!
I do hope that it is mostly issues with the recording process that are holding me back! Thanks for the support, man.
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
DWL said 2514 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
Very interesting
NIce use of the repeating guitar patter. Very African in style.

Delivery has elements of early Dylan and lyrics to match the style.

I'd lose the extra "I will be overthrown" or else drop the volume right back,

A complex and pretty challenging piece of work you've created.

Cheers

Dick


Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
tf10music said 2514 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
many thanks
African, eh? I agree that my vocals here have a little bit of Dylan in them: I'd avoid, but my voice just goes there when I sing in this range. The extra "I will be overthrown" was meant to sound somewhat distorted/direct. I had actually doubled up the vocal tracks for that part. Probably ineffective. Thanks for pointing it out.

Cheers!
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
CIASM_ZENABI_ said 2514 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
overthrown
quirky but catchy riff. can see a lot of potential with the addition of other instruments and a cool production, could be rocked up very easiliy. i like the almost disjointed vocal lines but it all hangs together. i can hear your imagination. cheers
Check out my latest song called GLOWING IN THE DARK (2012 REMIX)
tf10music said 2514 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
thanks, man!
Glad you liked the riff and the...disjointed...vocals (the fact that my vocals were so disjointed was bothering the hell out of me: I think this is a very weak vocal performance, but anyhow...). I agree that I do need production, but I lack the knowhow to go about it effectively. Thanks so much for taking the time!
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
TobinMueller said 2514 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
poet at each pulpit
Some very cool ideas that might work if you are willing to continue perfecting. There are some great lines, mixed in with (in my ears) overwrought and difficult to follow lines. Because of this, they get lost. The first stanza more complex than the others, when, I think, a first verse should be one of the easier verses to grab hold of, be made most accessible (as a chorus should always be), and set the stage clearly. One of the tricks of writing poetic, complex lyrics is making sure each phrase has a compelling visual element, or condense emotive detail. They fly by so fast, and people rarely read them (unless they are listening on MJ and the text is easy to access). Too many of your lines requiring deconstruction to understand. Maybe better diction would help, and trying never to rush.

The track has a feel of a journal entry, a demo meant to remind you what to work on later, like you are making it up as you go, which is cool, but also detracts from the potential compelling nature of the poetry. In my ears, the loud second line in the chorus fails, distorts and sounds like an error, not a conceptual addition.

Altho Dylan did a few pieces like this, my take away in the style of vocal delivery here is that you are throwing the lines away as oppose to feeling them, seeing them, are believing in them. In Dylan's case, it worked when he was talking about a love affair gone bad that he was trying to rationalize away, or when he was talking about politicians that deserved nothing more. To me, it doesn't work here.

But I truly appreciate and enjoy your work here, the potential waiting to be mined. I hope you continue to develop it.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
tf10music said 2513 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
Thanks
for your detailed critique. The idea of complexity and accessibility is one that I have never thought about when it comes to writing lyrics -- I suppose it manifests itself differently than it does in poetry. Also I hear you on the overwrought bit -- I agree that some of these lines may be trying too hard. The thing that works as an advantage to me in poetry is the interplay between silence and words, so I can feel comfortable with a stark simplicity, whereas in lyrics, I am not afforded that luxury. There is an interplay between the music and the words, but it doesn't create that same divide. As Dean Young (I think it was him) said, "there is thunder in silence."

Interesting take on my delivery. I'll definitely keep it in mind.

Thanks so much for taking the time!

Cheers
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
crissew said 2513 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
Very poetic lyrics
I can appreciate the complexity and thought that went into writing these lyrics. I think the problem is that they words are poetic but do not flow as well when put to songs. For example, the word "ragged", listen to Jethro Tull when they use the word in "Aqualung". They embrace the sound of it and play off it.

I think if you are going to use lyrics like this, you have to find a way to incorporate the odd and non standard sounds the words will create and use that as an advantage, feel what you are singing deeply. I think there are too many words in places, which is forcing you to rush, see if you can express phrases so they have more of a flow to them. You hit the nail on the head when you said silence and cadence is key in poetry. Lyrics require a different skill... phrasing that complements the music and emotionally follows not only the words but the music behind it. No wonder it is so hard to write a good song, lol. I am still hoping to record one someday.

I like the lyrics you are writing, it just needs some tweaking so it flows better. Also may want to experiment with some internal rhyming schemes. Works really well with lyrics such as these and draws more attention as well.
Check out my latest song called Dollar Store Christmas w/ Jerry Rissew
crissew said 2513 days ago (September 29th, 2010)
On the mix
I would pull a lot of your mids and lows out of your voice (start pulling backthe frequencies from 400 hz down). The vocals are too bassy. The acoustic sounds too dry to me and could use a little more "air" in it. You can probably fix that by adding a little reverb and maybe adding a little boost somewhere above 2k hz. BTW, not sure if you are using compression, but I would also add compression to the vocal, it helps to even it out.
Check out my latest song called Dollar Store Christmas w/ Jerry Rissew
tf10music said 2513 days ago (September 30th, 2010)
dude
so much detail. I love it. The suggestion regarding the filters is especially helpful. Thanks so much for the support, it means a great deal.

About lyrics, I think you're totally right. I still haven't decided whether it's a matter of my emphasis when i sing, or if it's the words themselves.

Thanks man, this will help a lot.

Cheers!
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
TobinMueller said 2512 days ago (September 30th, 2010)
The words
I think both crissew and I are suggesting its the words themselves. Or the words within the context if the rhythms and pace this music dictates. As was said in that thread a while ago, lyrics and poetry are as different as lyrics and the novel, even if they appear similar on the surface. crissew's ideas are spot on: simplify, internal rhyme, let the audience know what to listen to through emphasis, don't let it seem like one is driving the other, as if the phrases doesn't sit and you need to rush to fit them in. Actually, if you want to use these words, consider a different kind of song structure that enables you to pace the words the way you want. But music has a drive and repetition that words can become a slave to. The trick is when there is no slave, just an easy symbiosis. Or synergy. I appreciate that you are open to working on this.

But I also wanted to suggest another element. This is a first person song. Yet, I don't really get a strong sense of who the "I" in the song is, what they want, where they are, what brought them here, where they are going, the dramatic context of the moment this song is crystalizing. These are cool poetic lyrics that aren't clearly an expression of a personality, but of an idea. If you are rewriting the lyrics, it might be good to establish, or hint at strongly, who it is that is singing, and why. Just a thought.

I do dig the words, tho. As poetry.
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
tf10music said 2512 days ago (September 30th, 2010)
this discourse
I enjoy it.

I'm inclined to agree with both of you, especially in the context of this song. Simplify, simplify...

About the "I" persona: if you read through my body of lyrics (and poetry, though it is more complex and subtle there), you'll notice that the "I" is rooted in a "you" construction as well, and much of the creation of a persona lies in the use of apostrophe: addressing this hypothetical other. Another thought: language constructs personality, just as it constructs the idea. Given that you do not know me and probably never will in any real sense of the word, the idea becomes the persona, and vice versa. If I had wanted to be confessional, I would have been. I think the key is to leave that sort of confession right around the corner and just out of reach, but make its presence felt. "I will be overthrown..."

Also, I'd never use most of these lines in a poem. They're too busy. I might have when I was a lot younger, but I've learned the value of things left unsaid -- albeit gradually. So no more blatant maximalism, no more overt references to, say, kierkegaard...the idea of the neo-romantic tradition in which I write is to capture those things without chiseling them into the reader's skull...but that's another matter.

My thanks, again, for your continued interest, and for your wise words. I'm still learning, in many ways.

Cheers!
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
867-5309 said 2512 days ago (September 30th, 2010)
I Will Be Overthrown
wow what lyrics.
+ ' really like the unique opening rhythmic guitar work.
I am further enlightened from sampling your techniques and conversive vocal delivery style.
Noticing different segements of this number and the nice use of suspended 4th chords.
Somehow you change the timbre of your voice
making a welcome break in the already nice vocal delivery *
a very heartfelt theme throughout!!!!
Check out my latest song called Taking Care Of Business
867-5309 said 2512 days ago (September 30th, 2010)
I Will Be Overthrown
Wow what lyrics. Unique to say the least . . .
+ Your choice of when to use the susp. 4th rhythmic guitar chords make this interesting *
Your use of an alternate vocal delivery timbre
in your voice towards the finale makes for a welcome break for an already enjoyable vocal style.
' Noticing the diversity of 'sections' of this piece. This song is leaving me further enriched and enlightened with unthought of ideas too. Great job !
Check out my latest song called Taking Care Of Business
tf10music said 2512 days ago (September 30th, 2010)
thanks very much
Glad you enjoyed! The guitar choice was intuitive. About timbre: I achieved that by occasionally leaning in closer to the mic while singing and letting my voice get softer, a little bit breathier. I was debating just singing the entire song like that, but I am not sure how effective that would have been. Also, I have less control over my voice like that.

The most valuable thing you could have said is that this song gave YOU ideas. That means a lot.

Cheers!
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
michaeljayklein said 2510 days ago (October 2nd, 2010)
A balladeer!
I'm not sure about the advice given you, but for me, I pictured you as a wandering minstrel of yore here and that image was fostered by the lyrical content here very easily. Nice work on this!
Check out my latest song called There Ain't Nobody Here but Us Chickens!
michaeljayklein said 2510 days ago (October 2nd, 2010)
PS
My apologies for commenting so late--I have a habit of favoriting things I think I'd be interested in hearing while I'm at work and sometimes (due to my decrepit and increasingly inept brain) forget to check back later when I'm home, so glad I saw you plugging this in chat!
Check out my latest song called There Ain't Nobody Here but Us Chickens!
tf10music said 2510 days ago (October 2nd, 2010)
no need
to apologize! Your comments are valued either way. I appreciate that you saw this piece that way -- it was, in many ways, what I was going for. Thanks for listening, and commenting!

Cheers
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
RAVENS said 2510 days ago (October 3rd, 2010)
Beautifully Written
A good friend led me here, I'm very glad he did. Your lyrics are cleverly written, that is very impressive. Have you ever thought about doing a spoken-word as you strum your guitar? Nonetheless, I like this piece!

RAVEN ;-)
Check out my latest song called Tattooed Scars (w/ Sigmund, Scofugate, Rok41)
tf10music said 2509 days ago (October 3rd, 2010)
thanks!
On spoken-word: I kind of did that in "Discovering the Blues," but it wasn't good poetry. Most of the legitimate poetry I write relies heavily upon the use of silence, so I feel like it might be somewhat ineffective to fill that silence with guitar melodies, or what have you. I could put together a spoken-word piece...we'll see!

Very glad you enjoyed the lyrics! Thanks for stopping by.
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
crissew said 2509 days ago (October 3rd, 2010)
Food for thought
Silence holds power in music as well.
Check out my latest song called Dollar Store Christmas w/ Jerry Rissew
tf10music said 2509 days ago (October 3rd, 2010)
very true!
but, i think, a different kind of power. They both have the same, dare I say, thunderous quality, but in poetry, it is also an opportunity for imagery to coalesce in 'space,' or to play with grammar/syntax in order to alter the effect of certain lines. In music, I think it highlights the presence of sound, or, if there is a quick transition into silence, can indicate a climax of sorts. I'm not sure...

Also, I think I am going to keep on posting songs with contentious takes on songwriting just so that these discussions can keep happening. This is great feedback.
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
Calchas said 2487 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
Although I like
everything about this song, the LYRICS are simply outstanding. Well done Ben!

Take care!
Check out my latest song called Just A Man (After All)
tf10music said 2487 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
wow
very glad you think so! Coming from you, that definitely is a compliment. Thanks for the comment! You take care as well!
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
Calchas said 2487 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
To clarify:
I know you're a Yeats man.

I, on the other hand (and due, no doubt, to a difference in temperament), am quite fond of his good friend and colleague George William Russell (A.E.). Parts of your lyrics reminded me of him stylistically.

Hopefully you'll take that as the further thumbs-up I intend it to be.
Check out my latest song called Just A Man (After All)
tf10music said 2486 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
oh how
could I not?

I tend to find myself spiraling into Dylan Thomas-like diction and meter when I write song lyrics, but A.E. is a comparison I had not anticipated -- and a very welcome one it is!

Thanks so much.
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
Artist Info
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Name: tf10music
Location: Portland Oregon United States
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I haven't been playing music for too long. I've dabbled with the guitar for years, but it was only late in 2009 when I started writing my own stuff, and I've loved it ever since. I had always been inventing riffs or short melodies on the guitar, but ... [see more]

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Genre Info
Folk-rock is a musical genre, combining elements of folk music and rock music. In the original and narrowest sense, the term referred to a genre that arose in the United States and Canada around the mid-1960s. The sound was epitomized by tight vocal

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