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American Dream


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Description
My first lyric that's seen the light of day. Sorry for my poor vocals. You have been warned! I put it in Soft Rock, but I think it's got a little country flavor too. Probably should go in Americana, but that's not one of the choices
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Lyrics
Words & Music Copyright David Brown 2010

Verse 1
=======
A lowering sky in the fading light
Hands in pockets shoulders tight
I'm walkin streets just as empty as my pride
The for lease signs are all around.
Been that way since the plants shut down
And I'm wasting time just to fill my empty life.

Refrain
=======

The silent streets once paved in gold now no longer gleam
And I'm trying hard to wake from this American Dream

Verse 2
========

A darkened hall with a flickering light
Shuffling slowly, arms crossed tight
I wait my turn in the unemployment line
Our faces etched by the desperate times
We all need jobs by week 99
When this runs out our homes are on the line.

Refrain:
========
The promises made to us we never will redeem
And we're trying hard to wake from this American Dream

Bridge:
=======

Once beautiful our spacious skies now are closing in
The amber waves of grain have gone to seed.
The truth we need just hides behind the politician's spin
But they better learn to hear us in our need.

Verse 3
========
My father's voice is a whispering sigh
It echoes softly in my mind
keep working hard and everything will be alright
So I try to walk tall up against the wind
Will it lift me up or will it stop me again?
Once faith is lost it's oh so hard to find

Refrain
=======

The silent streets once paved in gold now no longer gleam
And I'm trying hard to wake from this American Dream


Song Stats
Hits: 3957
Comments: 164
Fans: 59
Plays: 178
Downloads: 0
Votes: 0
Uploaded: Oct 22, 2010 - 02:36:00 PM
Last Updated: Oct 22, 2010 - 02:36:00 PM Last Played: Jan 29, 2017 - 01:14:58 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

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Hardware:
Martin D18, Fender Strat, Presonus Firebox, Shure SM57
Software:
GarageBand, Scarbee Bass, ChannelStrip
Comments
ted23 said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
I
hear the country twang. I think that comes from the lead guitar. Reminds me a bit of Knopfler?
You vocals are good and well suited to the tune.
Very easy on the ears tune. Nice song
dave_b said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
reply
Hi Ed, Thanks for the listen, glad you liked the tune!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Moviz said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
Do Not
apologise for the vocals, because they're truly fine and it's a really nice song, beautifully played and sung; with good lyrics too. Love the lead guitar tone, regards M
Check out my latest song called Angels
dave_b said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
reply
Hi Maurice, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked it. The guitar tone comes stock with GB!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Vic Holman said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
american dream
neat song Dave. country rock in the realm of mellencamp and neil young.

great guitar riffs too.
Check out my latest song called Blue Shoes
dave_b said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
reply
Hi Vic, appreciate the listen, glad you put me in with those guys!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
michaeljayklein said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
Great to hear you again Dave!
Really, you did a good job delivering this vocally. At first, I was going to say perhaps you could bring the vocal up but as I listen for the second time, I see where it's just at the right level for the introspective lyrics and feeling of this song. I really liked this Dave--good melodic line (with a nice catchy rhythm behind it) and your lyrics are superb--they fit very naturally and easily and that's always a good sign of a job well done in that area. Thanks for presenting some very good work and hope you are sooner with the next one! Take good care now, Michael
Check out my latest song called There Ain't Nobody Here but Us Chickens!
dave_b said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
reply
Hi Michael, appreciate the listen. Glad you liked the lyrics, I worked especially hard on them.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
jfisenne said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
Nice sounding song
I don't think the vocals are poor at all. I'd like to hear them a little louder. Good tune!
Check out my latest song called A Swan Song
dave_b said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
reply
Hi jfisenne, thanks for listening & commenting.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
jdholliday said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
Americana indeed!
nice job Dave, looks like you got the songwriting bug! really good first effort, glad you stepped out with the vocals, the backer is very good, having had the opportunity to hear this prior to it's debut here on macjams, I can truly say, I have been humming and singing this for days now! Which is always a good sign!
Check out my latest song called Please Help, Pride of NYC needs tracks!
dave_b said 2376 days ago (October 22nd, 2010)
reply
Hi JD, thanks for your comments, both earlier and now. I'm always interested in your take on things!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
DWL said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
Great song
Elements of JJ Cale and Knopfler.

Excellent lyrics, lovely guitar work and don't dismiss your vocals as they work really well on this.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called War with Spain
dave_b said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
reply
Hi Dick, thanks for listening & commenting. Happy you liked the lyrics (worked hard on those), and that the vocal wasn't too painful :)
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
ShadowofNine said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
Like the vocal
Fits the mood of the tune, lyrics are good to, honest work...
Check out my latest song called Gone (with Eagle)
dave_b said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
reply
Hi Dave, thanks for taking the time to comment, glad you liked it. Work it was.....
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Symphony101 said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
Whatever genre
This is awesome ! Honestly, nothing to reproach to your vocals, I'd love to sing like you do :-) A very enjoyable listen.
Check out my latest song called Standing On The Brink (w/ Mosaica)
dave_b said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
reply
Hi Yves, Thanks for listening & commenting. Glad you liked the song!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
tokai said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
your first
that still alludes me, too many great singers on here. Well, you did a really good job on this if this was a premiere. I am loving that background guitar, crystal clear and sounding lovely.
Check out my latest song called sleeper
dave_b said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
reply
Hi Steve, Thanks for coming by and for your kind words!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Char said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
You know
what? I loved your singing. It is very natural and attractive. The lyrics are wonderful. Sounds like it could well be an Anthem for everyone hit hard in the economy. Good story telling and honest delivery. Thanks.
Check out my latest song called When Loving Is One-sided, Music by Bob Rodgers
dave_b said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
reply
Hi Char, Ok, glad I didn't melt your eardrums :). Glad you liked the lyric, I worked hard on it. I thought it might be a topic that many could relate to now, but as someone self-employed whose business has been severely damaged by the recession, the feelings expressed are very real. Thanks for listening and commenting.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
tford said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
American Dream
Nice lyrics-I feel your pain-I write my best music when things go bad in my life-I do feel that the American Dream is a joke, we have money for war but we can't feed the poor-Health care is a joke too-People are fed up with it all-Time for a big change. I hope things get better for you. Peace, Tom
Check out my latest song called I Believe
dave_b said 2375 days ago (October 23rd, 2010)
reply
Thanks for checking it out Tom. Hope you get a new gig soon.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
MarkHolbrook said 2375 days ago (October 24th, 2010)
Well I
only wish your vocals were a little further forward.. You sound just fine. Wish I could hear you better. The guitar work is awesome Dave! Nicely done!
Check out my latest song called Corn Whiskey
MarkHolbrook said 2375 days ago (October 24th, 2010)
As I listened
the words kicked in and I really hit hard. They still need to be louder! They speak a killer message. Nicely done!
Check out my latest song called Corn Whiskey
dave_b said 2374 days ago (October 24th, 2010)
reply
Hi Mark, Thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked the song. I left the vocs down some and tried to blend in the piano that "doubles" the melody line - poor man's Autotune :)
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
RAVENS said 2375 days ago (October 24th, 2010)
Dreams
What sad lyrics, and I'm sure many can relate. Poor vocals? Not at all, you sound great Dave. Too bad you don't post more often, awesome song!

RAVEN ;-)
Check out my latest song called Tattooed Scars (w/ Sigmund, Scofugate, Rok41)
dave_b said 2374 days ago (October 24th, 2010)
reply
Hi Dani, Thanks for listening & commenting, glad your eardrums aren't bleeding too much! Speaking of posting more often, how about some more from you - I'm sure I speak for many. Loved "Did You Know".
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
RosaLinda said 2374 days ago (October 24th, 2010)
This is heartfelt!
Just the way I like it! You make me listen to the lyrics. Its a wonderful song and great playing too! You sound like your from England?
I liked alot!!:)
Check out my latest song called When You Sing With Me/ Clay Potts
dave_b said 2374 days ago (October 24th, 2010)
reply
Hi RosaLinda, Thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked it.
Just listened to your latest, really nice work! I'm from New Jersey in the USA.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
jibes said 2374 days ago (October 24th, 2010)
American Dream
Is a great tune!! It's got a great feel good tone.
Check out my latest song called JESSICA
dave_b said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
reply
Hi Neal, Thanks for listening & commenting. Good to see you back and posting more.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
KCsGROOVE said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
cool guitars!
Fine guitarwork here!
Dig the vocals as well
Enjoyed!
KC
Check out my latest song called YOU'RE ON MY MIND
dave_b said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
reply
Hi Cees, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked the song.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Dadai.2 said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
Very good song Dave!
... and that includes your fine vocal. No excuses needed there. Wonderful guitar work, love the embellishments and melody lead. I already said it... this is a real good song, nice changes and solid production. Two thumbs up!

D
Check out my latest song called Stepping Back From The Edge (2008 protest song)
dave_b said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
reply
Thanks for listening & commenting Jack, glad you liked it! Good to see you back & posting :)
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
segiperkasa said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
tha was really cool..
love the guitar tone .. really bright ... really cool song .. very easy listening...
Check out my latest song called Time to Let Go
dave_b said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
reply
Hi Segi, thanks for listening & commenting. I liked your Metallica tribute post.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
FEEL said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
Nice Vocals
I like the mix, the presence of the guitars and the way the second one follows the piano. Really cool progression. The vibe portrays a glimpse of hope. So maybe they will listen to the cries. Catchy and enjoyable. Thanks for sharing.
Check out my latest song called Not Just Your Best Friend (unplugged)
dave_b said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
reply
Hi John, thanks for the listen and the kind comments. Good to see you around & posting more lately.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Doadars Uncle said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
Portrait of our times
Real nice Dave! True message. The refrain struck me most...
Check out my latest song called Don't Leave (remix)
dave_b said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
reply
Hi Doug, Thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked it. I just listened to "Alone", nice job.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
michaelkoppenheffer said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
Nice tune!
As with some other listeners, I'd love the vocal even higher--and I don't think you need the keyboard part that doubles the vocal melody.

Really nice guitar lines, too!
Check out my latest song called Till the Tap Runs Dry (album version)
dave_b said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
reply
Hi Michael, thanks for taking the time to listen & comment. Yeah, the piano is there solely to pull my pitchy vocal in the right direction :) Small steps...
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
sammydix said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
dave
What a well crafted song. That guitar on the right melts, man.
Check out my latest song called Maps PeterB Sam Mix
dave_b said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
reply
Hi Sam, thanks for listening & commenting. Glad you appreciate the songcrafting!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
scaustrita said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
Country Flav
I do hear more of a country feel then soft rock.
But either genre fits well.
Your a talented guitar player too . . .

:: Entertaining ::
Check out my latest song called 69 Impala (N D LP)
dave_b said 2373 days ago (October 25th, 2010)
reply
Hi Steve, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked this one. Recuerdo Tu Ojos is a cool post.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
magnatone said 2372 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
American Dream
poor vocals????? this is fabulous Dave - and your voice sounds GREAT to my ears! what terrific and thoughtful lyrics - this is wonderful!
Check out my latest song called Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen) and Variations
dave_b said 2372 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
reply
Hi Karen, nice to hear from you, thanks for listening & commenting. Glad my voice didn't make your eardurms bleed too much :) I'm happy you noticed the lyrics, worked hard on those.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
tf10music said 2372 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
hey
these are pretty good lyrics, which is always really nice. They;ve got a very Neil Young feel to them. And your vocals aren't bad at all, no need to apologize, they've got a really nice gritty quality. The soundbed is really nice. I with the vocals were higher in the mix, though. Really nice work.
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
tf10music said 2372 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
also
I agree with ted, there is quite a bit of Knopfler in here. That's a good thing.
Check out my latest song called If The Body Fades
dave_b said 2372 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
reply
Hi Ben, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked the lyrics especially as I know you work really hard on yours. Dire Straits is an influence of mine so I'm happy with any comparisons to Mark Knopfler. Keep on working, your recent posts have shown some real improvement!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
egobandit said 2372 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
Classic
I hear ya Its a nightmare wake me from the american dream couldn't be put any clearer love that twangy guitar great song!
Check out my latest song called Tempest Wave
dave_b said 2372 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
reply
Hi Tim, thanks for the listen & the comment, glad you dug it!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
scofugate said 2372 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
Smooooth !!!!!
Very enjoyable tune Dave!!. Yep, I am lovin the Country flavor......Gotta love the scarbee man!!
I think the vocals are very nice man!
I am really liking the mix you have put together. It has a very "real" sound which I really enjoy man!!
DL'd
Check out my latest song called Engine 71
dave_b said 2372 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
reply
Hi Scott, Thanks for checking it out, glad you liked it. Yeah, I really didn't feel that the vocs brought out the song that well, so I was reluctant to enable downloads. But I did email you a copy :)
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
scofugate said 2372 days ago (October 26th, 2010)
wooo..
where is the DL button??

LOL
Check out my latest song called Engine 71
lengold said 2371 days ago (October 27th, 2010)
Lovely song
and performance.
Cheers
Len

Check out my latest song called Decent Girl
dave_b said 2371 days ago (October 27th, 2010)
reply
Hi Len, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked it!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
awigze said 2371 days ago (October 27th, 2010)
All is well
This all sounds good to me
Check out my latest song called Tommy Cat
dave_b said 2371 days ago (October 27th, 2010)
reply
Hi Andy, thanks for listening and commenting. Congrats on those 100 collabs! Maybe you could fit me in in the next 100 :)
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
awigze said 2370 days ago (October 28th, 2010)
Dave
You mean we are uncollabed? LOL. it would be an honor
Check out my latest song called Tommy Cat
Warren Smith said 2370 days ago (October 28th, 2010)
Americana
I think you are right - "Americana" would be the perfect category for this affecting analysis of contemporary life in the United States.

It's obvious you put considerable effort into writing the lyrics and you have come up with some good lines. I particularly like "Our faces etched by the desperate times/We all need jobs by week 99," as it accomplished at least two things at once, i.e., it refers specifically to the expiration date of unemployment benefits, while also impressing one with the size of the problem (99 is a big number). Equating empty streets with empty pride is also a nice touch.

I also like the final verse where a father's dictum of "hard work" becomes the unstated absurdity: How can you work hard when there are no jobs?

I, as others have said, would like to hear your voice a little stronger in the mix. Maybe you could double-track it? Just a thought that sometimes works for me.

All in all, a very fine effort!
Check out my latest song called On Your Knees
dave_b said 2370 days ago (October 28th, 2010)
reply
Hi Warren, thanks very much for listening and your thoughtful comments. I hadn't thought of the final verse as you did - I was more thinking along the lines of if one doesn't have a paying job, then the job becomes to go out and find one, and that is what takes the hard work. I think the line works equally well either way. I will try your double tracking hint, and I'm also working with another MacJammer, a much better singer then me to provide some vocs.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
lavalamp said 2370 days ago (October 28th, 2010)
Quite a good song
You shouldn't be bashful and bring those vocals up a bit. Not bad at all. Guitar on the right is very sweet.
Mix is excellent (Vox needs to be up a bit though)

I think the genre you chose is a little misleading too. Normally, I'd pass on soft contemporary.

LL
Check out my latest song called The Shallow People
dave_b said 2370 days ago (October 28th, 2010)
reply
Hi Dave, thanks for the listen and the comment, glad the vocs didn't make your ears bleed too much :) I'm working with another MacJammer, a much better singer then me to provide some vocs that I won't feel I have to hide in the mix some :) As far as genre goes, I wish there were an Americana choice, but that's not one of the choices. Where would you have put it?
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
lavalamp said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
Reply
Rock, acoustic rock, or folk rock. A lot would say it doesn't matter, but I think it sometimes can.

LL
Check out my latest song called The Shallow People
dave_b said 2368 days ago (October 30th, 2010)
reply
Hi Dave, thanks for the feedback. I looked at the genre definitions
(http://www.macjams.com/article.php?story=20040427163120889). Going by those, I don't think I put it in the right place. I'll have to think about it some more - acoustic rock and folk rock are possibilities.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
TERRAPLANE said 2370 days ago (October 28th, 2010)
Absolutely
Some of the best lyrics I have ever seen here,,,,,, I'll be back for a listen,,,,,,, you are a poet friend
Check out my latest song called Little Drummer Boy
dave_b said 2370 days ago (October 28th, 2010)
reply
Hi Terry, glad you liked the lyrics, worked hard on them.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
jiguma said 2370 days ago (October 28th, 2010)
Dave
This is a really cool post - love the lead guit, and the rhythm section works really well. The song is really solid bit of writing too.

Now about your vocals: I speak with some experience as far as someone whose first vocals here were not what they might have wanted (although this vocal is waaaay better than my first vocal at MJ). I discovered something early on here, and that is that you don't have to have a "perfect" voice to be a singer - in fact, I'm beginning to think that having a prefect voice can be a bit of an obstacle to making interesting music.

Your vocal here is nowhere near as weak as you might be thinking - for a start it's nearly 100% on pitch. There are a few simple ways you can get it more to your liking though - sing more often and record it; relax when you sing, and put all the inflections you feel into the vocal (makes it more interesting). In this song, I'd probably like your voice to be turned up a few dB. I hope this isn't the only vocal we hear from you Dave!
Great post!!
Neil
Check out my latest song called When Ya Gonna?
dave_b said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
reply
Hi Neil, thanks for listening & for your advice on vocals. Glad you liked the song! I'll be trying to work more on the writing going forward, so inevitably I'll have to work on vocals some, if only to impart an idea of what I hear in my mind to someone else. I will try to apply your advice.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
five_extra_arms said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
A Contemporary Adult
Cool tune! I hear a bunch of great artist's influence in this tune. Guitars are really nice and your singing is good too. I agree, you don't need the piano behind the vocals in the whole song, but it definitely works.

Nice job

Bob
Check out my latest song called Kepler - NASA Challenge
dave_b said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
reply
Hi Bob, Thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked the song &the vocs weren't too painful!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
ThroughRivers said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
dave dave dave
this track is awesome mate, i think your vocal is really good, but i think you should try to edit some of the phrases if you can, it sounds like you have tryed to sing the whole song in its entirty without editing, great guitar tho, really feeling the track, and you have a awesome tone to your vocal, just need to edit it abit for the lines you think you have sung badly, cheers mate!!!
Check out my latest song called Winters Day
dave_b said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
reply
Thanks Pete/Damien, for listening and commenting. Not quite sure what you mean by editing. Sometimes I will edit a guitar track but a measure at a time to fix a slurred note. I guess I could keep punching in and redoing phrases until I got something better. Glad you like the track!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Carrie71 said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
American Dream
Talk about being in touch with what is happening here and now. Love the message in the lyrics. I hope I sound as good as you on my first vocal!
dave_b said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
reply
Hi Carrie, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked it. I'm looking forward to your first post, and your first duet with Gaylen!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
crissew said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
Yeah
Has kind of a don mclean quality to it. Nice laid back groove. Drums sound could be tweaked a bit, sounds a bit too busy and the tone of them sounds a bit midiish to me. The vocals work pretty well for the style of song I think. The understated vocal style is kinda needed for this type of song. Nice work!
Check out my latest song called Dollar Store Christmas w/ Jerry Rissew
dave_b said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
reply
Hi Charles, thanks for listening & commenting, was afraid my vocs might have been a bit much for you to take since yours are so good :). Drums are a Drums On Demand song set, should have put that in the Song Software section. I agree with you that they are a little too busy over the refrain, something is not quite right there. I threw one of the ChannelStrip compression presets on the drum track, it may be a little overcompressed now.

Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
crissew said 2369 days ago (October 29th, 2010)
Dave
I would mess around with the reverb a bit on the drums, compressionwise I think it is ok. I think if you added a touch more reverb to the drums they would be more lifelike. Enough to add a little air to it but not so much that it sounds swimmy.
Check out my latest song called Dollar Store Christmas w/ Jerry Rissew
dave_b said 2368 days ago (October 30th, 2010)
reply
Thanks Charles, I will give that a try as I keep tweaking it.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
fasteddie said 2368 days ago (October 30th, 2010)
Very cool
Sorry I'm late. Dude, this is really awesome. I think the vocals are really good man.
Of course the guitar sounds really killer.

Very smooth nice jam man.
Check out my latest song called On Borrowed Time
dave_b said 2368 days ago (October 30th, 2010)
reply
s'cool. Thanks for checking it out Michael, glad you like it. I'll be around later 2nite to check out your new one.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
tonestones said 2365 days ago (November 2nd, 2010)
Great song
The lyrics are excellent. I like the guitar. The vocals are just right for this. These lyrics deserve a delivery with heart and I think you've done that well.
Check out my latest song called Hallelujah [Leonard Cohen Cover]
dave_b said 2365 days ago (November 2nd, 2010)
reply
Hi Steve, thanks for listening & commenting. Glad you liked the song, and the vocs weren't too painful! I enjoyed Over The Rainbow, and I'll be back for more when you post the rest of you "Oz" series.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Re-al said 2362 days ago (November 5th, 2010)
Nice one!

Finger-on-the-pulse story; we all understand it right now. Genuine feeling all over this, between lyrics and your heart-tugging vox.

Could hear Lou Reed doing a cover - imagine that!

Good job, Dave.
Check out my latest song called Billy The Kid
dave_b said 2362 days ago (November 5th, 2010)
reply
Thanks for listening & commenting, glad you caught the real feeling, my business has been decimated by all the problems. I'm sure Lou Reed would deliver a killer version of this!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
richard13 said 2362 days ago (November 5th, 2010)
Very nice post
Thanks Dave: those lyrics are first rate. And the guitar and vocals are good too. It all hangs together nicely.
Check out my latest song called for Geoff, who doesn't like ambient
dave_b said 2362 days ago (November 5th, 2010)
reply
Hi Richard, thanks for listening and commenting, glad you liked it!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Kicbal said 2358 days ago (November 9th, 2010)
Good stuff
I think the vocals would sound better if they were louder in the mix. They fit the style of music and the tone and quality is nice. Go big or go bigger.
Check out my latest song called Close Call
dave_b said 2357 days ago (November 10th, 2010)
reply
Hi Chris, thanks for coming by and checking this out. I might post another version of this in the future with louder vocals. Only it won't be me singing :)!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
bud said 2357 days ago (November 10th, 2010)
Really solid song
great writing and I like the quality of your voice. Definitely has that alt-country feel that suits the message so well. Excellent playing.
Check out my latest song called Polara
dave_b said 2356 days ago (November 11th, 2010)
reply
Hi Kevin, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked the songwriting especially as I worked hard on this one!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
sloparts said 2353 days ago (November 14th, 2010)
Wonderful lyrics Dave,
and I see nothing at all wrong with your "poor vocals" as you called them. Excellent song in all regards my friend.

Ed
Check out my latest song called Quack's Blues
dave_b said 2353 days ago (November 14th, 2010)
reply
Hi Ed, Thanks for listening & commenting my friend. I'm glad my vocs weren't too painful anyway :) Glad you liked the lyrics as I worked pretty hard on those.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Jscott said 2353 days ago (November 14th, 2010)
Very nice
And up beat, sounds great!!
Check out my latest song called Out for a ride
dave_b said 2353 days ago (November 14th, 2010)
reply
Hi J, thanks for listening & commenting!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
SISTERS said 2353 days ago (November 14th, 2010)
YAY, the Dave!
"streets as empty as my pride" - what a good line!
"and I'm trying hard to wake from this American Dream" stands out, as well. Dave = you can sing. I'd get rid of the synth track duplicating your vocal melody so you stand out more. i can hear the synth as training wheels, but your vocal doesn't really need em.
your vocal volume changes at 3:19 for the better - the music was overpowering you a bit to my ear til then. good bridge! music very well done. enjoyed my earful, anne




Dave = you can sing. I'd get rid of the synth track duplicating your vocal melody so you stand out more. i can hear the synth as training wheels, but your vocal doesn't really need em.

your vocal volume changes at 3:19 for the better - the music was overpowering you a bit to my ear til then.

good bridge! music very well done.


Check out my latest song called UNIVERSAL SONG w Astronomusic & 24 Soloists
dave_b said 2353 days ago (November 14th, 2010)
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Hi Anne, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked it! The piano track is sort of "training wheels" as you put it :) - also my "poor man's autotune" to pull the vocal back onto pitch. I'd much rather listen to your vocals then mine! :)
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
J.A.Stewart said 2353 days ago (November 14th, 2010)
Brother...
Can You Spare a Dime — 70 years later. After years of financial boom, we're beginning to understand why our parents and grandparents had the fiscally conservative attitudes they did. You've done a great job of describing the frustration and disillusionment of the transition from dream to nightmare — although you artfully resist actually calling it that.

A very crisp and clear recording with some nice Strat work. ;)


--- Joe
Check out my latest song called Crankenhurst Challenge - Verse 1-7 (Inst. Break)
dave_b said 2353 days ago (November 14th, 2010)
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Hi Joe, thanks for listening & commenting. Glad you liked the lyrics, worked especially hard on those. Yup, my mom's childhood was during the Depression, and she never forgot those habits.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Sirens_Headband said 2353 days ago (November 14th, 2010)
American Dream
Take the logical step?
Just a delightful tune DB.
Hard work becomes meaningless in the age... anyway you covered the ground.. great bass playing and sweet guitar.
Just a little eq and reverb might make yer vocals more satisfying... just take a bit to do, you should try, a great song!

Daug
Check out my latest song called Death By Misadventure Solo by Andy Sax
dave_b said 2353 days ago (November 14th, 2010)
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Hi Daug, thanks for the listen & comment, glad you dug it. I can't take credit for playing that bass line, I programmed it on the Scarbee. I do have some 'verb & and one of the Channel Strip presets on the vocs. I'll keep tinkering though!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
ramonaji said 2351 days ago (November 16th, 2010)
oh, I like this!
and your vocals I really like... ! Charmed, I am!
Check out my latest song called Say Bye Bye
dave_b said 2351 days ago (November 16th, 2010)
reply
Hi Ramona, thanks for listening and commenting. I'm happy you liked the song, and a little bemused that you liked the vocals. I was just going for "not painful" :)
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Toveco said 2347 days ago (November 20th, 2010)
Really Nise Tune
Lovely song and sung well, you have a great voice my friend. If I sing my wife AND my Catt run out of the room
Check out my latest song called Cry If Able, With MJ Star 'Awigze'
dave_b said 2346 days ago (November 21st, 2010)
reply
Hi Tommy, thanks for listening & commenting. Glad the vocs weren't too painful.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
racerat said 2345 days ago (November 23rd, 2010)
truth
Speak the truth my friend. Excellent lyrics. Having just joined the unemployment line myself, these words ring very very true right now. Don't be so hard on yourself with the vocals. I'd suggest you just double or triple track them. A very simple and common trick (ask just about every major recording artist) to make them seem less weak. Do it, you'll be amazed. It will give you the courage to do more vox, and then to do harmonies. It's a slippery slope, but a cool ride. Have fun. Be bold.
Check out my latest song called Paper Thin
dave_b said 2344 days ago (November 23rd, 2010)
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Hi Philip, sorry to hear about the lost job, that sucks. Hope you find something soon. My freelance software business has been decimated by this recession. The silver lining for me has been more time to work on music. Thanks for the tips on the vocals, I just downloaded Izotope's new vocal suite called Nectar which automagically doubles along with lots of other stuff.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
starbombconnection said 2344 days ago (November 23rd, 2010)
yum
Very smooth groove. Good tune!
Check out my latest song called the burn
dave_b said 2344 days ago (November 23rd, 2010)
reply
Hi SBC, thanks for listening & commenting. Glad you liked it!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Demeter7 said 2343 days ago (November 25th, 2010)
I hear the country
in the music. Wouldn't this be great, if you had more voices? I see it starting as one voice and gradually... have more voices join in, as if the single man is joined, as he walks along a street. Excellent lyric and you sang it just right. I still like what you did a lot. Thanks.
Check out my latest song called Boogieman Boogie Halloween 2012
dave_b said 2342 days ago (November 25th, 2010)
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Hi Char, thanks for the return visit. I think it would be a good idea to get some more voices in this, particularly some harmonies for emphasis.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
VillageIdiot said 2342 days ago (November 25th, 2010)
Great song
... wouldn't be ashamed of that voice if I were you! Goes with your writing beautifully and the writing is great. And that guitar is really lovely.
Check out my latest song called The Sinking Man
dave_b said 2342 days ago (November 25th, 2010)
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Hi VI, thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. I just started working with Izotope's Nectar vocal suite a few days ago and I think as a result my vocs are sounding better. I liked "Man Next Door", good storytelling.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
woofer3 said 2338 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
A dream ....
An outstanding recording, still I think you only have to look at the response to see that. Excellent.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
dave_b said 2338 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
reply
Hi John, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you dug it.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
CIASM_ZENABI_ said 2338 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
american dream
nice guitar tones. laid back feel but with a cool energy level. like the way the vocal melody moves about. some really nice chord changes. cheers
Check out my latest song called GLOWING IN THE DARK (2012 REMIX)
PeterB7858 said 2338 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
GFC Blues
Hey Dave, I've only been an MJ member for a month so I missed this when it came out but I jumped to have a listen after you were kind enough to make a comment on one of my songs. And I'm glad I did. It is a fine song with great, sensitive lyrics and your vocals were just fine. It is interesting to hear an everyday American perspective on the GFC and its impact. We read about the foreclosures etc. in Aussie newspapers but, as a general rule, haven't had to experience these extremes in Australia. Thanks for the song. Peter.
Check out my latest song called Dancing In The Rain (GSB)
dave_b said 2338 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
reply
Hi Peter, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked the song. I had to Google GFC, I tracked it down to "Global Financial Crisis". With a couple of blips, we Americans have had uninterrupted prosperity since WWII. Things are different this time...
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Rayelise said 2337 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
american dream
This is a wistful song. I like your vocals because they sound so authentic & natural. The instrumental backs up the song's theme really well. Yeah I hear the country flavor which I think sounds great.
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
ste said 2326 days ago (December 11th, 2010)
lovely
melody. like the bass line and very nice guitar. great job, mate. catchy tune and strong lyrics
Check out my latest song called screwed
dave_b said 2326 days ago (December 11th, 2010)
reply
Hi Ste, thanks for listening and commenting, glad you liked it!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
jodyrush said 2325 days ago (December 12th, 2010)
Honest Lyrics...
Hitting it home with these Dave. Nice.
Check out my latest song called Forbidden Fruit
dave_b said 2325 days ago (December 12th, 2010)
reply
Hi Jody, thanks for listening & commenting, glad you liked the lyrics. I liked "Life In A J.A.R.", commented on it over there.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Lennon714 said 2323 days ago (December 15th, 2010)
Americana
Great track! It's like Iris DeMent and Pedro the Lion doing a song together. Solid message. Representative lyrics. Smooth lead playing, too!
Check out my latest song called The Robots of Coconino County
dave_b said 2322 days ago (December 15th, 2010)
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Hi Eric, Thanks for listening & commenting. I'll have to check out Iris & Pedro, never heard of either of them. Glad you liked this one.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
PaulaMunk said 2319 days ago (December 18th, 2010)
This song
is very special. I still hear it as a very broadway number with several voices. You worked hard and made an anthem, a strong statement and did it with courage and grace. Thanks, once again.
Check out my latest song called O, Shenandoah
dave_b said 2316 days ago (December 21st, 2010)
reply
Hi Char, you snuck one in on me! Thanks again for listening and commenting!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Hydrogen3 said 2314 days ago (December 23rd, 2010)
American Dream
these times bring back the core values we forgot. Nice theme here! H3 :)
Check out my latest song called Work it Out
dave_b said 2313 days ago (December 24th, 2010)
reply
Thanks for listening & commenting H3!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
awigze said 2304 days ago (January 2nd, 2011)
Dave
always listen to your daddy. This is a very personal tune and I am glad to come back for another listen.
Check out my latest song called Tommy Cat
dave_b said 2303 days ago (January 3rd, 2011)
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Hi Andy, thanks for dropping by again. Happy New Year!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
echoroom said 2302 days ago (January 4th, 2011)
Dark lyric
Really emotive lyrics, sung with appropriate resignation and frustration. Your voice has character - i'll have that over those multi octave warblers any day.
Check out my latest song called Communion Day
dave_b said 2302 days ago (January 4th, 2011)
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Hi Steve, thanks for listening & commenting. Further thanks for noticing the lyrics, I worked hard on them.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
michael2 said 2302 days ago (January 4th, 2011)
well
i like the vocals; kind of ragged and human. they actually make the song for me (I don't really appreciate perfection in the vocal department). this is a nice song, got a bit of a no depression feel, excellent guitar playing too.
Check out my latest song called Jazz Glitch Dub Experiment
dave_b said 2302 days ago (January 4th, 2011)
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Hi Michael, thanks for listening & commenting. Glad the vocs weren't too painful. I've been singing a little more lately and it seems to be getting a little better.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Corporal Beef said 2297 days ago (January 9th, 2011)
Your Vocals...
... have a very easy vibe to them; they're great. The song itself is very well written, and I appreciate your message. Thanks for posting.
Check out my latest song called (SRC 2013) SECCHI A CME0054
dave_b said 2296 days ago (January 10th, 2011)
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Hi Jason, thanks for listening & commenting. I worked hard on crafting this one, glad you noticed the songwriting, and that the vocs weren't too painful.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
rogerdodge said 2286 days ago (January 20th, 2011)
Americana is the best genre
Neil Young would like this. The vocal tone is well suited to the lyrical content. We all have a little 21st century blues these days. I could feel it.
Check out my latest song called One Night at the Wasteland Bar
dave_b said 2285 days ago (January 21st, 2011)
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Hi Roger, thanks for listening & commenting. Stay tuned for the rewrite of this song any month now :)
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Bob6stringer said 2285 days ago (January 21st, 2011)
Dreamy Americana.
Man, I wanna jam with you, borrow a Telly and ego-out with some ear-bleeding single coil. That's great for a live show with a PBR-lubed audience. But this is a very nice, controlled piece. Lyrically, it's great, too. I'm just waiting for the sequel, where Chinese cowboys are takin' over and everyone will be singing with a whole different-country accent! Finally, on your genre comment: I do wish we had an Americana option here -- Son Volt ain't Travis Tritt.
Check out my latest song called Happy Birthday (Na Na Na Na)
dave_b said 2283 days ago (January 23rd, 2011)
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Hi Bob, thanks for the listen & comment. Glad to jam with you anytime when geography permits! (I'm in NJ). re Chinese cowboys: I say we nationalize all their holdings and dare them to do something about it :). There's been some lobbying on genre additions to no avail AFAIK.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
blaky smith said 2283 days ago (January 23rd, 2011)
Cool
Poor vocals !? I like your vocals, very good on this music style.
It's a beautiful song Dave and it's a great pleasure to listen to this tune.
Marc
Check out my latest song called Un jour de décembre
dave_b said 2283 days ago (January 23rd, 2011)
reply
Hi Marc, Thanks for listening & commenting. I enjoyed "Ecchymoses au jardin" and commented on it over there.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
MarcusPerry said 2281 days ago (January 25th, 2011)
Lyrics
I really like these lyrics. Very well done.

"The promises made to us we never will redeem
And we're trying hard to wake from this American Dream"

^-----great line.
Check out my latest song called Don't Wait For Me
dave_b said 2273 days ago (February 2nd, 2011)
reply
Hi Marcus, thanks for listening & commenting - Glad you liked the lyrics.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
TERRAPLANE said 2280 days ago (January 26th, 2011)
Awesome Lyrics!
nice production all around,, thanks
Check out my latest song called Little Drummer Boy
dave_b said 2273 days ago (February 2nd, 2011)
reply
Hi Terry, thanks for listening & commenting. Further thanks for noticing the lyrics, I worked hard on them.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
DarkPlanet said 2277 days ago (January 29th, 2011)
Glad I didnt miss this
Really love the melody in this,
Vocals remind of Ben Gibbard
Great guitar in the right ear-
Enjoyed much!
Check out my latest song called Summer Glaze (With cchaplin)
dave_b said 2273 days ago (February 2nd, 2011)
reply
Hi Tom, glad to see you back around these parts, thanks for listening & commenting
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
billykirsch said 2273 days ago (February 2nd, 2011)
Dave
Great lyrics, full of images and to the point. Vocals work great for the song. The rhythm guitar flows smoothly. Yeah, I agree with other comments the piano could help but it may be something you could leave out of the final mix. A double tracked vocal may work well too.

Check out my latest song called Everything
dave_b said 2273 days ago (February 2nd, 2011)
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Hi Billy, thanks for listening and commenting. Glad you liked the lyrics, I worked hard on them. Thanks for the double tracking tip, I'll try that next time.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Loob said 2272 days ago (February 3rd, 2011)
Love the guitar work Dave!
Pictures painted with the lyrics.

Maybe do a couple more takes with the vocals. You are not a bad vocalist Dave. I am not sure it works having the guitar doing the same melody as the vocals. It almost feels like they are doing verbetim? You wrote the melody on the guitar? I'd like to hear a mix without the guitar doing all of the vocal melody behind your singing.

My first impression of the drums are that they probably have too much compression on them. Just my ear. I'd also like to hear a mix with virgin drums on it, just to see the difference. Then I'd know if I'm hearing too much compression.

I really like your song, and I really like the performances. Especially your guitar. It's tastey if not distracting from the vocals. When you are singing I'd stay away from verbetim phrasing through the whole thing. If you are going to do verbetim just short bursts. Should have the rhythm guitar behind the vocals IMHO. This has a lot of potential with the right treatment!


Check out my latest song called Rain w Melani Cholie
dave_b said 2272 days ago (February 3rd, 2011)
reply
Hi Fred, thanks for listening and for your detailed comments.

That's a GarageBand piano that's doubling the melody line. I had never recorded my voice before so I did the melody line on the piano to serve as a "target" before I tried the vocal. I left it in as a "poor man's autotune" that would serve to pull my voice back into pitch. I've since gotten Izotope Nectar, so my vocs should magically improve the next time I post :), and I won't be doubling the melody anymore.

I agree with you here. The drums are a DOD loops which came pre-mixed - I used one of the Channel presets and I think it is a little overcompressed.

Glad you think it has potential. I'm rewriting it now and should have it done any month now :)

Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
telecaster29 said 2264 days ago (February 11th, 2011)
nice guitar work
nice fluid strat sound, very country. and your vocals are more than competent. fender strat and martin d18 - class instruments and you do them justice. sadly it's not only the american dream that's dimmed at the moment.
Check out my latest song called inner space
dave_b said 2250 days ago (February 25th, 2011)
Reply
Thanks for listening & commenting. Glad the vocs weren't too painful!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
BlueAttitude said 2251 days ago (February 24th, 2011)
Vocals sounded ok to me!
Good song, well written lyrics, and very nice guitar playing. My only comment is I think the guitar is a bit too loud, it overpowers the vocal in places in my opinion. Either that or the vocal needs to come up, hard to tell from this end. And the vocals sounded fine! I enjoyed the listen! I am also "Dave B" by the way :)
~Dave
Check out my latest song called Midnight Romp (w/ awigze)
dave_b said 2250 days ago (February 25th, 2011)
reply
Hi Dave, thanks for listening & commenting. I agree with your comment. Since this was my first singing attempt and I wasn't real happy with it, I tried to cover the vocs up in the mix some. I also doubled the melody line with the piano figuring that it would serve as a "poor man's autotune". I recently bought Izotope's Nectar vocal plug-in, so hopefully that'll help me to have the courage to bring the vocs up in the future!
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
SJB said 2198 days ago (April 18th, 2011)
Hi Dave
I worry about my singing too but that's because I can't sing! You don't have this problem and you ought to bring the vocal up a bit more in the mix (especially at the start).
Great playing too.
Steve
Check out my latest song called Harm(less)onics to Fade
dave_b said 2198 days ago (April 18th, 2011)
Reply
Hi Steve, thanks for listening & commenting. I did do another version of this song http://www.macjams.com/song/66859, where I brought the vocals up as you and others suggested - (I had a little help from Izotope's Nectar plugin).
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
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