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When Love Comes Apart


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Description
I wrote this song a year or so ago soon after I got my first Macbook (coming over the from the dark side). I started playing with Garageband and this is what developed. I still like it even though I knew very little about the software at the time. I have recently retired due to ill health and have a bit more time on my hands to write and record songs (and have several in the pipeline) but I thought I would post my first song first.

My partner got a bit concerned about the lyrics but they just seemed to flow out of the chord progression. Anyway, all feedback will be very welcome.
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Lyrics
When Love Comes Apart

Clouds are forming
The black sky is filled with tears
My heart is aching
I can’t stand and face my fears

My world is spinning
And I’ve lost all self-control
Without you near me
I will wither and grow old

Chorus
When love comes apart
There is no peace
The simple things in life
Turn to dust
The thrill is gone
All wonders cease
The bonds are broken
And they turn to rust

It seems a long time
Since we knew each other’s hearts
How did it happen?
Who was the first to make a start?

Things grew so bitter
In our lives there was no room
For both our egos
We fell to pieces all to soon.

Repeat Chorus
Song Stats
Hits: 2540
Comments: 46
Fans: 15
Plays: 82
Downloads: 59
Votes: 1
Uploaded: Nov 17, 2010 - 12:43:46 AM
Last Updated: Nov 11, 2010 - 11:40:07 PM Last Played: Apr 06, 2017 - 08:00:17 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
Ibanez AS193, Toneport UX1, Shure SM58
Software:
Garageband
Comments
MarkHolbrook said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Sweet
tune! Glad you escaped the dark! Keep working on music. It is a great release! This is great tune!

Perhaps the intro was a tiny bit long before getting to the lyrics.
Check out my latest song called Corn Whiskey
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Thanks
Hey Mark, thanks for taking the time to have a listen and give me some feedback. I agree with your comment re the intro. I got a bit carried away with the guitar sound and lost a bit of focus on the intro's role in the song. I really like the whole concept of MacJams (being a newbie) and your support is appreciated.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
Calchas said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Niiiiice first offering Peter...
Mix is a tad murky... just a TAD... But your singing is very good, and your guitar playing is stellar!

Welcome aboard man! Glad you've come to play and grow with us!

Be well friend!
Check out my latest song called Just A Man (After All)
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Appreciative
Thanks for the chat link and the feedback Calchas. I need to actually go back and master the song. The mp3 was straight out of the mix in Garageband. It sounded a bit cleaner as an .aiff file but the mp3 version is a bit murky, I agree.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
Six-Nail-Coffin said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Talent.
You have it. Nice.
Check out my latest song called Krampus Carol
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Thanks
Thanks for taking the time to have a listen and provide the positive feedback.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
papag said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Smooth sad song
Sorta reminds me of Steve Miller. Nice chord changes and guitar riffs. The lyrics fit the mood of the song. Well sung and arranged.

thanks for the dl :)
Check out my latest song called Chinese Flutes (first draft)
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Sad song
Hi papag, thanks for the kind comments. Yes it is a bit of a sad song. The first time my long time partner, Judy, heard it she looked at me kinda funny until I assured her it was that the lyrics just seemed to tumble out over the chord changes. We are still together and very happy :-)
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
jiguma said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
G'day Pete
Terrific song, well played/sung and recorded. Probably a bit of potential in playing around with the mix to get a bit more life in the mp3. A trade secret is to use Ozone (available as a demo download at http://www.izotope.com/products/audio/ozone/ ) to master the mix.. The following is in no way meant as criticism (I have a bit of a reputation for doing this!) - I'd look at using panning to spread the instruments around the sound stage a little - mainly the guitars. I'd also think about boosting the vocal slightly in the mix. The ride bell throughout seems a little overdone - maybe you could drop back to a closed hat sound for the first verse at least, bringing it back in for the chorus. I find that varying the cymbal sound can add lots of light and shade to a song. You also have the option of a full ride sound in instrumental passages. The bass is almost inaudible on my Sennheiser 'phones - tightening up the bass sound and boosting it in the mix would work well I think. I agree about the intro being a bit long, but why not?
A really good tune - welcome to MJ - you do realise it's addictive don't you?!
:)
Cheers from Pambula Beach,
Neil
Check out my latest song called We End Up Being All The Same (42)
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Great feedback
Hi Neil, thanks finding time to have a listen and for the terrific feedback. I will give the Ozone demo a try. I just dragged in some loops for this song so I really need to go back and tweak them somewhat. You have inspired me to remix and master it properly. Thanks for the specific feedback. It is certainly what I need at this stage. Regards, Peter
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
jiguma said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Loops
Back again. I'm not sure what you use for loops or how experienced you are at using midi files, but I use midi loops for all my drum tracks (unless I can get a real drummer). They are the green loops (well in Logic they are green) and the beauty of them is that you can change sounds/locations of any particular hit in a track simply by moving the midi "note" physically in the "piano roll" window. Once you're comfortable with things, give it a try - it gives so much extra flexibility. Plan B might be to get a hold of "Drums On Demand" loop sets. They give lots of flexibility in an audio loop format. There are other options, but I have found these best for me.
Cheers,
N
Check out my latest song called We End Up Being All The Same (42)
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Drum hints
Hey Neil, thanks for the hints re altering the drum loops. I had kind of worked that out (in songs later than the one I posted) but I don't know all that much about drumming (despite being in a band for the last few years) and I still haven't got a lot of confidence changing drum loops around too much. I need to bite the bullet and concentrate on the drums more in the mix and alter them to suit the song a bit better. It's just a bit too easy to drag a loop in and be satisfied with it :-)
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
jiguma said 2466 days ago (November 18th, 2010)
A drums tip
The trick with midi drums is to work on one drum (or cymbal) sound at a time. So first you really focus on say the kick and make adjustments to just the kick through the song - then move to the snare, then hihat, then ride and finally crashes. Then you can go back and micromanage (I usually do this a few bars at a time), just moving notes here and there and deleting or adding to get accents (eg crash cymbal hits). Here's a good article: http://www.tweakheadz.com/how_to_make_original_drum_tracks.htm
Have fun!
N
Check out my latest song called We End Up Being All The Same (42)
jiguma said 2466 days ago (November 18th, 2010)
and
http://www.tweakheadz.com/midi_drum_tips.htm
Check out my latest song called We End Up Being All The Same (42)
PeterB7858 said 2465 days ago (November 19th, 2010)
Drum hints
Hi Neil, thanks for the drum tip links. I will definitely have a look at them over the weekend and see what develops. I am currently just using GB drum loops but I just borrowed a usb midi keyboard from a friend so I now have a bit more scope to revise and input drum tracks. You have been most generous with your support. Take care.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
magnatone said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
When Love Comes Apart
Hey Pete - welcome to MJ! I left you a comment about an hour ago, but then MJ crashed - I see my fave survived, but not the comment. So here goes again - GREAT JOB!! It's clear you know what you're doing, great guitar and vox, and you are going to have SO MUCH FUN HERE!!!
Check out my latest song called Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen) and Variations
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Thanks for the welcome
Hi magnatone. Thanks muchly for the positive feedback. You are right - I think this is going to be a great ride. Positive vibes all round.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
michaeljayklein said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Solid Peter!
Thanks so very much! Michael
Check out my latest song called There Ain't Nobody Here but Us Chickens!
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Appreciate you dropping by
Thanks for the support Michael. I am really enjoying being a member of MacJams.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
alackbass said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
When Love Comes Apart
I love your soulful playing. Welcome to MJ Peter!
Check out my latest song called Mean Miss Teacher
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Welcoming
Hi alackbass, thanks for the positive feedback. This site has really made me feel welcome. Much appreciated.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
Monkaton said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Nice Geetar
Sorry you are not in good health, but welcome to Mac Jams.

Good vocals and lyrics. I would take the guitar down a bit during the singing and bring the bass up. I like your lead playing the tone of your guitars. Very nice. Good fade out too.
Check out my latest song called The Chord
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Constructive
Hey Monkaton, thanks for dropping by. I appreciate the constructive feedback. Great tips all round!
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
RochaMalhada said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Welcome
slick tune. Some good advice and pointers above, but this is a soulful slick tune

Glad to have you sharing around here, thanks

. - Harold
Check out my latest song called Ascent of a Tree (w Mike_D & FEEL)
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Slick advice
Thanks Harold. I agree. The advice is really spot on. The guidebooks seem to say you shouldn't master your own stuff and I am getting some really fantastic feedback here. Really appreciate you having a listen and taking the time to comment.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
crissew said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Very nice guitar tone
Very nice ringing tone. Well done tasteful vocals. Maybe a tad bit more reverb than I would use, I think that is why you have gotten comments on the vox being too quiet. Verb blends it into the background a bit. I think the bass guitar could come up 2 db or so in the mix. Very soulful lead playing. Excellent post, thanks for sharing it!
Check out my latest song called Dollar Store Christmas w/ Jerry Rissew
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Disguise
Hi crissew. Thanks for the feedback. The reverb is probably a sign of my lack of confidence in the vocals. And the bass is just a loop that I dragged in - but I think I have a slightly better understanding of the strengths and limitations of GB now so I can hopefully remix to make the bass a bit more prominent. Really great to be onboard. It seems like a really good crew. Thanks!
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
RAVENS said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Cool
For your first tune in GB, this is really good. I would love to hear this with a cleaner mix. Nonetheless, your talent is apparent. Looking forward to hearing more from you!

RAVEN ;-)
Check out my latest song called Tattooed Scars (w/ Sigmund, Scofugate, Rok41)
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Welcoming
Hi Ravens, really appreciate you taking the time to have a listen and give me some constructive and positive feedback. Hopefully there are a few more tunes in the offing. Peter
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
Silky5 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Welcome
Good sound. Lovely vox. Fine first post look forward to more ;-)
Check out my latest song called Road to Apocalypse
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Great encouragement
Thanks Silky5. Really like the supportive nature of this site and the way people are prepared to offer support and encouragement. I really appreciate the time and effort people like yourself put into helping others with their music.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
Sigmund said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
When Love Comes Apart
Great first effort in GB, as well as your first post here at MJ. Welcome!
Sig
Check out my latest song called Running with the Wind by Peter B, feat rok41
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Take care
Hey Sigmund, thanks for your support of a newbie. Appreciate it greatly. Take care.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
scofugate said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Wonderful Flow
!!!I like this, This is just great work
WELCOME!!!
Vocals are wonderful as well!!!
Guitars and all
Kudos!
Check out my latest song called DreamKiller
PeterB7858 said 2467 days ago (November 17th, 2010)
Flowing compliments :-)
Hi scofugate. Thanks for the positive comments about my first MJ song posting. I will take onboard the suggestions from all above and spend a bit of time remixing and mastering to do you all justice. Appreciate your support.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
TERRAPLANE said 2466 days ago (November 18th, 2010)
welcome Peter
Excellent first effort here! Nice guitar playing & song structure. I see you have a toneport interface ( probably 16 bit).SM58 is the stage standard mic but for home studio you'll get a much cleaner sound with a condenser mic.I used to record with a 16 bit interface & a SM58 & always wondered why my recording sound so muddy.. An apogee one (24 bit) interface turned the corner for me & cleaned up the sound. Toning down the echo on the vocs here may help clean it up some.Enjoy the music! keep on keepin on ,,T
Check out my latest song called Little Drummer Boy
PeterB7858 said 2466 days ago (November 18th, 2010)
Condenser mic
Hi Terraplane, I appreciate your feedback and hints. I am actually waiting on the delivery of a condenser mic and pre-amp that I ordered earlier in the week for the exact reasons you have identified. The echo and verb on the vocals is probably more a sign of my insecurity than anything else. I will try and trust them a bit more and see what responses that brings. Thanks for dropping by and taking the time to comment. Regards, Peter
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
jdholliday said 2466 days ago (November 18th, 2010)
stellar first post
Looks like you already got a lot of greta technical advice, surprised no one has compared this to Natalie Merchant's "Carnival", very similar vibe and feel, which I love, clearly worth remixing, I have some thoughts on polishing up the lyrics and ideas as to how you might dramatically improve the vocal also, pm me if you would like to hear my thoughts, great first post!
Check out my latest song called Please Help, Pride of NYC needs tracks!
PeterB7858 said 2466 days ago (November 18th, 2010)
Happy to collaborate :)
Hi JD, thanks for the support. More than happy to get some further advice/suggestions re any aspect of the song, the lyrics and the mix. Sorry, but I am not sure what "pm" means in this context? I will email you. I appreciate the feedback and support. Regards, Peter.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
Char said 2406 days ago (January 17th, 2011)
Clearly,
you are a romantic with deep emotional significance in your lyrics. You moved me and that is a gift of talent that comes from your heart, your soul and your skill as a musician. You can only get better and better at the technicalities. As for the intent, you are already there. Thank you.
Check out my latest song called Bound, v2. w Music by Dirigent
PeterB7858 said 2406 days ago (January 17th, 2011)
Thanks Char,
I appreciate you listening to both versions of this song. Hopefully I am learning a few things along the way. Take care, Peter.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
telecaster29 said 2377 days ago (February 16th, 2011)
tasteful
i too retired early last year through ill health. i know those feelings of loss of control. like you i've turned to music to fill the void left by the premature end to my career. but you almost feel guilty for indulging yourself, don't you find? fine song mate, best wishes, kevin.
Check out my latest song called inner space
PeterB7858 said 2376 days ago (February 16th, 2011)
Guilty pleasure
Hi Kevin. Guilty, yes, especially when I am supposed to be painting the house :-) But music is a big part of my life, as it obviously is yours, and the pleasure it brings me is worth a little guilt trip every now and then. Take care, Peter.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
jobu said 2323 days ago (April 10th, 2011)
Nice Guitar work
This is a really cool, moody piece made nicer by the space you offer in the verses. Too many people feel the need to sing and sing. Good for you for leaving some room to let the vocals breath a little. Swell job!
Check out my latest song called You Know the Rest
PeterB7858 said 2323 days ago (April 10th, 2011)
Positive :-)
Thanks for chasing down my first MJ song, jobu. I re-mastered it in light of all the helpful comments and re-posted a bit later on. I appreciate you positive reaction to it. Regards, Peter.
Check out my latest song called Ships In The Night (w Sam D)
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Name: Peter Bowen
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
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