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Horse Dreams


by

Rayelise

 Genre: Acoustic

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Description
A really new song... I'm thinking about a fade out at the end maybe.... Any other suggestions/feedback would be welcomed.

me- lyrics/melody, voice, piano part playing & composing
Todd Shelar- acoustic guitar playing & composing
Ralph Lillie- recording
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Lyrics
I had a mother once,
she meant to love me well
she meant to love like a mother do
but the ocean swelled up mean....
& a great big wave gobbled her from me.

I had a father once
he meant to love me true
he meant to do what a father do,
but the sky had to brew up a storm that
chewed him from me warm.

I had sisters once
I knew we'd always find each other
when we played our hide and seek game,
& called where are you....
but the wind blew. ..... the wind blew.

chorus:
But I dream all these strange horse dreams...
When I sleep, horses run wild in my dreams....

Thought I'd have a lover once
I felt him wait in the branches of my tree.
And everytime he ran scared,
just like the horses he'd come back to me...

*chorus*
Song Stats
Hits: 2542
Comments: 33
Fans: 22
Plays: 183
Downloads: 58
Votes: 1
Uploaded: Nov 29, 2010 - 03:23:38 PM
Last Updated: Nov 29, 2010 - 03:36:56 PM Last Played: Feb 18, 2017 - 06:06:30 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

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Comments
PeterB7858 said 2339 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
Understated
Hi Rayelise, thanks for this posting. I really like the understated, brittle quality of your vocals. The lyrics are quite emotional in content and the subtle performance counterpointed them nicely. The ending was fine. Perhaps you might just cut the last single piano note and end on the previous chord? Also the words "gobbled" and "chewed" seem a bit out of character with the lyrical sentiment? Perhaps look for some others - which I can't think of of the top of my head :-) But these are just minor suggestions to a song I enjoyed a lot. Regards, Peter.
Check out my latest song called Dancing In The Rain (GSB)
Rayelise said 2339 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
thanks PeterB7858
thank you for all this thoughtful feedback. yeah you are right about that piano note- it needs to be cut. i like those words for their child-like primal quality, but thanks for the suggestion. anyway you're welcome for posting it- thanks for listening :)
-Rachel
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
lavalamp said 2339 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
I agree
I like the use of the sort of childlike words. The worse thing a song writer can do is "try" too hard. These words are natural and seemingly from the soul.

LL
Check out my latest song called The Shallow People
AcousticGuitarist said 2339 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
six note piano figure
touching lyrics I really caught the analogy
in your chorus.
this particular six-note upper piano figure is catchy.
and the ungarnished nice tonal vocal style has
a nice presence to it !
done kind of "Imagine" style
Check out my latest song called Newborn
Rayelise said 2339 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
thanks acousticguitarist
I'm glad you caught the analogy & were touched by the lyrics. Thanks for the lovely words and for listening :)
-Rachel
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
egobandit said 2339 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
Horse
Sad but with a glimmer of hope, your voice moves along with this with out effort that makes it work for me, Good collab you guys have something special going on here! I would love to experience this live ! Love the horse painting? yours? BTW I say leave it stopping on that note don't fade its just my opinion but it adds to the seriousness of the composition
Check out my latest song called Tempest Wave
Rayelise said 2339 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
thanks egobandit
I like your name- I just got it.
anyway thank you- that's an interesting thought about the seriousness of it & a fade out diluting that. I'll take that into consideration. Yes the horse is mine but actually a charcoal. I hope we play this live soon. thanks for listening!
-Rachel
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
johnwhitehead said 2339 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
Dreams
Lovely downtempo mood to this. I enjoy your singing. Nice imagery in the chorus. Voice maybe a touch too out front? Cool harmonics and striped down accompniement.
Check out my latest song called Wandering Blues
Rayelise said 2339 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
thanks johnwhitehead
Thank you for your words and for stopping by to listen. I will listen again with that in mind about the vocals being too out front... thanks for the feedback.
Rachel

Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
RAVENS said 2339 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
I Wouldn't
Change a thing...

What I love most about your music is it's rawness. What a touching song, and I agree with Tim, (ego) the ending is fine as-is.

RAVEN ;-)
Check out my latest song called Tattooed Scars (w/ Sigmund, Scofugate, Rok41)
Rayelise said 2339 days ago (November 29th, 2010)
thnx ravens
thank you Raven, rawness is what I'm going for certainly. thanks for the ending feedback & the listen :)
-Rachel
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
Symphony101 said 2339 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
I really like
your voice. This works so well, very nice composition and the instrumentation here works very well too. A very good song, very much enjoyed !
Check out my latest song called Standing On The Brink (w/ Mosaica)
Rayelise said 2338 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
thanks symphony101
Thank you for listening & I am so glad you enjoyed it :)
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
lavalamp said 2339 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
A new one!
Great to hear a new one from you. Kind of a haunting tune. Love the sound.

Exceptional lyrics. Very well-written.

Loved it!

LL
Check out my latest song called The Shallow People
Rayelise said 2338 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
thanks lavalamp
I do like to haunt ;) Thanks so glad you liked it & thanks for listening.
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
mrattue said 2339 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
Horses
A fool for horses, i am, prone to dream horses especially, the mystical warmth and their graceful, primeval movement.

Feels intimate and strangely comforting, for a song about loss, and for me, the song is the horse, moving with such grace and freedom, on and on, towards an unknown, but somehow trusted destination.

Everything else comes and goes, but the horse rides on, carrying us in its song, just as music cannot leave us.

Loved it. Thank you.

Marc
Check out my latest song called Second Wind
Rayelise said 2338 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
thanks mrattue
Oh, what a lovely comment. I love fellow fools for horses. Yeah moving to an unknown yet trusted destination, paying no mind to the losses all around them. Indeed like music.
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
Reggie_Pole said 2339 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
Horse dreams
The Rayelise style shines once again. Heartbreaking song of separation and isolation. The emotional content in your lyrical catalog is off the scale. Your vocal delivery breathes vulnerability and honesty. I think the words "gobbled" and "chewed" are evocatively appropriate. The lyrics are, as always, pure poetry. Ending sounds fine to me.
Check out my latest song called UnerSpizm
Rayelise said 2338 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
thanks Reggie_pole
I'm touched by your appreciation of the Rayelise style :) I'm glad you could feel the vulnerability & honesty... thank you for your comments and for listening so deeply as you do.
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
Feter said 2338 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
Horse Dreams
This is so deep and dark but meaningful ..I just heard some hidden strings among the harmonies here .The best thing about this recording that it is so ALIVE and real ..very wonderful deliver for the vocal ...nice song writing ...kudos !!!
Check out my latest song called Roll with it
Rayelise said 2338 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
thanks Feter
Feter! I've not seen you in awhile. thanks for stopping by to listen! strings could work really well. we've been recording everything at once for the more 'live' sound, so I'm glad it works.
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
magnatone said 2338 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
Horse Dreams
what a great voice you have! this is terrific, and i'm with dani - i wouldn't change a thing!
Check out my latest song called Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen) and Variations
Rayelise said 2338 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
thanks magnatone
thank you for the compliment of my voice. I'm glad you liked the song and thanks for listening!
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
rok41 said 2338 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
Horse Dreams
I found myself really caught up in this melody early...I love the way you have arranged it, soft but direct; easy, but creates a bit of tension because of how the melody line repeats itself. Your singing here is heartfelt and real, nice job Rayelise. :)
Check out my latest song called Long Day 2015 (w/awigze)
Rayelise said 2336 days ago (December 2nd, 2010)
thanks rok41
yes I see what you're saying about the melody line repeating creating tension. I'm glad it works. thanks for listening and for the kind words :)
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
dave_b said 2338 days ago (November 30th, 2010)
Horse Dreams
There is a vulnerability in your vocals which fits nicely with the lyric that paints a tragic picture. Re "Horse Dreams" I got this from a dream interpretation website:
"To see a herd of wild horses in your dream, signifies a sense of freedom and lack of responsibilities and duties. Perhaps it may also indicate your uncontrolled emotions." So, I think that fits with the verses. Pretty melody and tight playing. I agree with Peter, you should cut out the last note, and end on the chord.
Check out my latest song called Llarions Blues
Rayelise said 2336 days ago (December 2nd, 2010)
thanks dave_b
cool.. thanks for sharing that interpretation from the dream website. Yeah both those fit w/the song. Freedom definitely. Thanks for your comment!
Check out my latest song called Angel of Montgomery
Outtaorbit said 2337 days ago (December 2nd, 2010)
Haunting
I like it the way it is...... much like a dream.... which is what it is..
nicely done.
Check out my latest song called My Last Great Depression
davisamerica said 2337 days ago (December 2nd, 2010)
the rabitt sent me ;-]
you are such a "real" composer and artist. i absolutely love that about you. the lyrics work for me ..... an inner child laments. an instant download... thanks.
Check out my latest song called empathy
speedonl said 2309 days ago (December 30th, 2010)
Very
melancholic song, I enjoyed it a lot!
Check out my latest song called Sunny Day
Estella said 2309 days ago (December 30th, 2010)
Horse Dreams
Rachel, this is perfect from beginning to end, and perfect through all components, how they contribute to one meaning.
Check out my latest song called Insomnia
smokey bacon jnr said 2291 days ago (January 17th, 2011)
wow!
This is inspired. You should do a collab with Hackneybloke - although your stuff is a bit more heavy than his. Great song - that chord structure perfectly fits a repetitive dream, really pulls you in.
Check out my latest song called April
lholden said 2281 days ago (January 26th, 2011)
striking
The vocals are so subdued and beautiful... I really enjoyed the repetitive piano line, a perfect accent to this beautiful voice! Thank you for sharing.
Check out my latest song called If Only We Could
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Name: Rachel Elise
Location: Baltimore MD United States
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