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Horrible Me-track4


by

Gaylen75

 Genre: Electropop
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Description
From the Album "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen

Jay contacted me about a month ago and asked if I would be interested in doing another song with him. If you don’t already know his music, let me tell you that it is more than it appears. Or what I mean is that he plays guitars too. Almost all of what I have heard has a clear melodic direction which I find rare in electronic music where it appears many artists rely heavily on samples and redundancy. Jay sent me a slice of songs to pick one to sing on and I decided to take it seriously. I sat back and listened to all of them from beginning to end and found it difficult to pick. All of the songs had something that made me want to write. I asked him if he would let me record an album. He agreed to let me go nuts. After sending me about thirty songs I had picked what I thought would make the point I was going for…

The point I was going for:
I decided that I wanted to take this rare opportunity (ten select songs from a talented artist) and truly commit to an idea. I wanted to do a “concept album” and picked a subject that I felt I still had enough to talk about. I dug deep and wrote about as many painful and true feeling that I could. I cleared the coffers with each part of the story. I mashed relationships together and squeezed the demons of shame neglect and inadequacy to present what I believe reflects why I deserve the relationship I have now.

Method:
I always take every song (mine or others) very seriously. I have some self imposed rules about how I write melodies and lyrics that will only make sense to a few but I thought it would be nice for posterity sake that I share with you why I didn’t follow my rules this time. Normally I sit down day one with the music and rip through lyrics melody and recording without moving once. Why would I do that? Besides being crazy, I feel like the end result of a pressure fueled session keeps me connected to the song after Im done. It makes the music part of my life in a way that tinkering and over thought out/ processed ideas seem to lack for me. This makes getting recordings done difficult lately as I don’t have blocks of time and I have become so accustom to this method that I cant get invested.
Anyway with this collection of music I was committed to getting the most connected experience that I could have. But the idea of ten songs done this way was impossible. I decided to change it up and retool my method. I burned a CD and took it with me to work. I drive for a living so I listened to the songs in a constant loop for up to ten hours a day for a week. I my objective was to familiarize myself with the music in the way that I might have been there with Jay when he wrote them. I avoided writing lyrics and got almost all the way through the week before I realized that I had written most of the songs in my head. Yeah some bad driving went down that week but it was the risk I was willing to impose.

So I had only suggested that I would like to do and album because my ladies had plans to be out of town and I had a weekend to record. As it was fast approaching I actually got nervous. I intended to complete ten songs and I still had to work during the day so I really only had about twenty hours to get what I wanted out of the experience. I hope that you can understand that as I don’t take anything seriously like music, it was important that this was smooth. Well, I started Friday night and one after the other the songs started getting done. I had in some ways over prepared. I new every melody that I wanted. I had every harmony in mind and almost all the lyrics memorized. (side note: I have forgotten most of the lyrics as that is how my brain works. Any thoughts on if that makes me odd?) Sunday morning the songs finished I felt like even though I had separated myself from a “method of formula” that I have used for my painting poetry carving writing and music that I had not fallen to far off the emotional coarse that makes this process so satisfying for me. The disconnect that I hate about prolonged projects seems to have been buried by the tight time frame.


The Song: “Horrible Me”

The album has many underlying themes that I hope you catch but the one that is obvious is the vampire. In “Horrible Me” I bare my chest and let the world that would listen see the mistakes I have made. I think we all go down these paths in life.

Living in Rewind-track1 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Mission Man-track2 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Ego Parade-track3 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Horrible Me-track4 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Five Thousand Times-track5 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Monster I am-track6 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
I Hate You-track7 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
A Warning-track8 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
Lovers Genocide-track9 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen
The Vampire Within-track10 "The Monster I Am" Prototype81/Gaylen



I hope that you enjoy what Jay and I have put together and look forward to some feedback
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Lyrics
Horrible Me

now where do we go from here
Ive committed matricide
Mother cant stand in the way
of the horrors I decide

but You wont dance for me
not the way that I want tonight
youre too busy making me
your latest lie

my apology
I dont know who or
whats come over me
but it isnt you and
it's everything
that I can do
to keep myself from screaming

youre killing me
with that horrible smile
baring your horrible teeth
ripping horrible flesh
from horrible me
its horrible me

on my own I seem to be
psychotic but reasonably
its you that
brings this out of me

but You wont dance for me
not the way that I want tonight
youre too busy making me
your latest lie

my apology
I dont know who or
whats come over me
but it isnt you and
it's everything
that I can do
to keep myself from screaming

youre killing me
with that horrible smile
baring your horrible teeth
ripping horrible flesh
from horrible me
its horrible me

now where do we go from here
Ive already committed matricide
Mother cant stand in the way
of the horrors I decide

but You wont dance for me
not the way that I want tonight
youre too busy making me
your latest lie
Song Stats
Hits: 1550
Comments: 13
Fans: 14
Plays: 26
Downloads: 109
Votes: 0
Uploaded: Oct 05, 2011 - 06:14:52 PM
Last Updated: Oct 05, 2011 - 11:54:42 PM Last Played: Mar 01, 2015 - 04:39:37 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

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Comments
TracyVosh said 1996 days ago (October 5th, 2011)
Horrible Me
OH...I've always loved this track! Sounds amazing with vocals laid down on it. The perfect UFO-Flow.

Very much enjoyed, you guys.
Gaylen75 said 1993 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
Yes
Jay rocked this one fo sho. Thanks again
Check out my latest song called Dont Go Now
alackbass said 1995 days ago (October 5th, 2011)
Horrible Me
Another winner! I really like the change at :59 (the chorus). Great guitar sound there. Your vocals are always excellent. But this one is particularly great!
Check out my latest song called Mean Miss Teacher
Gaylen75 said 1993 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
Thanks
Yeah jay really brought this one to life. Thanks again for so much of your time.
Check out my latest song called Dont Go Now
Carrie71 said 1995 days ago (October 6th, 2011)
horrible me...
I love love love this one. I know I say that about all of your songs, but I love the bipolarness of this tune. You know what I mean the arh arh arh to the la la la. Lol.
Gaylen75 said 1993 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
You are my hero
Truth is I only care for Carrie praise.
Check out my latest song called Dont Go Now
Char said 1994 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
Hmm,
this is ghoulish. Some dichotomy: killing and being killed. I'm going to have to take a breather. Strong Stuff. Thanks, people.
Check out my latest song called When Loving Is One-sided, Music by Bob Rodgers
Gaylen75 said 1993 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
Yes
This is loaded with metaphor. I think is seems more ghoulish then intended.
Check out my latest song called Dont Go Now
rabittwhole said 1994 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
electro angst ....
cool.
Check out my latest song called FloydianSlip2
magnatone said 1994 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
#4
holy crap - i have to go lock the doors, hang on
Check out my latest song called Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen) and Variations
five_extra_arms said 1994 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
You're Killing Me
I really like this tune. Jay's synths really stand out on this one. Very expressive leads that pair up nicely in an even matched battle with Gaylen's ridiculous limitless vocal range. I like the breaks - nice contrasts, but being the fan of electronics and more drama, I think that you could've built this whole thing up bigger after the 3 minute mark. When you introduced the guitar, that was perfect, I wanted to hear another guitar lead, followed by another synth riff, all while Gaylen's vocals repeated and intensified for at least 5 - 10 - 20 more measures "but you won't dance for me..." I would not get tired of hearing that set of verses develop and mutate or repeat again and again to overstate the fact that "you're killing me!!" It shouldn't peter out at the end. It needs to explode.

I think this is my favorite tune so far. They continue to get better guys.

I'm really impressed.

Still downloading,

Bob


Check out my latest song called Kepler - NASA Challenge
Gaylen75 said 1993 days ago (October 7th, 2011)
Agreed
I believe we certainly could have taken most of this work further and if ever the heart be willing I will send you the first copy. Thanks so much for your kindness.
Check out my latest song called Dont Go Now
ktb said 1993 days ago (October 8th, 2011)
Horrible Me
Your passion shows through. Audio anguish.
Check out my latest song called Blackwater (by Tokai)
Artist Info
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Name: Gaylen75
Location: redding ca United States
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Genre Info
Electropop (also called Technopop) is a subgenre of synth pop music which flourished during the early 1980s, although the first recordings were made in the late 1970s. Numerous bands have carried on the electropop tradition into the 1990s and 2000s.

More songs in Electropop:

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