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i'm a celebrity


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Description
a song about celebrities - the first thing I wrote this year. [mix 04-03]
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Lyrics
Chorus I’m a celebrity so they’re telling me, I could have stayed at home,
I’m an absurdity, no one’s heard of me, check me out on chrome.
Verse 1 They tell me that I’m famous like a movie star,
As I drink cold vomit from a medical jar,
As I eat live maggots like a port brained simpleton,
With nothing much on my mind.
Verse 2 Back on the air I keep dumbing it down,
If I’m in for a penny, I’m on for a pound,
With the puerile humour from the planet of juvenile
stand ups and DJs.
Chorus I’m a celebrity so they’re telling me, I could have stayed at home,
I’m an absurdity, no one’s heard of me, check me out on chrome.
Verse 3 the comedy genius of Ant and Dec
As it limps along I think what the heck,
As they giggle and laugh at anything and everything,
We lower the bar again.
Verse4
a boy band member could be next for you,
They say he’s gonna eat a plate of monkey’s do,

The forehead duo keep the wisecracks coming
And they’re never too far away.
Chorus.
Break as [as verse]
Repeat verse 3
Repeat Chorus.
Song Stats
Hits: 1918
Comments: 42
Fans: 22
Plays: 124
Downloads: 61

Uploaded: Jul 08, 2013 - 05:00:51 AM
Last Updated: Jul 08, 2013 - 05:00:51 AM Last Played: Jan 30, 2017 - 11:44:51 PM
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Creative Commons License:
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Comments
Bob Rodgers said 1392 days ago (July 8th, 2013)
Really
great lyrics, you managed to explain exactly the torture of all this fly on the wall celebrity overkill :-)

A wonderful piece of music to accompany your excellent vocals, this was very enjoyable and I loved it.

Bob
Check out my latest song called The Lonely Man
woofer3 said 1392 days ago (July 8th, 2013)
thanx again Bob
I just feel better after having a little snipe at this shallow world of generally shallow people.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
hackneybloke said 1392 days ago (July 8th, 2013)
celebrities
i haven't even heard the song yet.....but in the meantime.....FUCK THEM. did you watch wimbledon yesterday? the endless cuts to celebrities in the crowd. how did they get their fucking tickets? who the fuck do they think they are?
btw.....cool song john.
Check out my latest song called If Symptoms Persist
woofer3 said 1392 days ago (July 8th, 2013)
Julian my lovely boy
love your passion, it is truly refreshing and good to meet someone else who is also fed up with all this undiluted nonsense, the trouble is - everybody seems to just accept it and of course the media know this only too well. Until that changes, nothing else will unfortunately. Thanks for listening fella and commenting.

Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
DWL said 1392 days ago (July 8th, 2013)
Brilliant!
You're amongst friends here John :-)

Top lyrics and performance. Loved the Dylan
cameo ;-)

"cold vomit from a medical jar" - sums it all up really.

Cheers

Dick


Check out my latest song called War with Spain
woofer3 said 1391 days ago (July 9th, 2013)
Hello Dick and thank you,
I'm sure most people dislike all this celebrity nonsense if the truth were known. Luckily we are in the middle of an epidemic of irritating things which means that there is never ever a shortage of inspiration in the writing department. Hoorah!!

Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
MartinD28 said 1392 days ago (July 8th, 2013)
Celebrity
Wow - what a fantastic song! How did you come up with this? Wonderful lyrics and the music is tight and vaudeville like - very visual. Great recording.
Check out my latest song called Don't Lose Me Lord
woofer3 said 1391 days ago (July 9th, 2013)
thanks
Martin, hello, appreciate you dropping in and commenting. John.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
TobinMueller said 1392 days ago (July 8th, 2013)
The Planet of Juvenile!
...but only a few never-to-grow-up juveniles could have come up with this! THanks for the fab entertainment and explosion of creativity!
Check out my latest song called Momentary Undertow
woofer3 said 1391 days ago (July 9th, 2013)
Tobin
Glad you liked it, and thanks.

Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
BeccaJohnson said 1391 days ago (July 8th, 2013)
Love it
Hello,
Love the song, especially the way it is recorded. sounds alot like the 60-70's...vocals-fantastic!!!
Check out my latest song called Hey Bob
woofer3 said 1391 days ago (July 9th, 2013)
Hello Becca
thank you for visiting, I'm glad you liked the song. J.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
egobandit said 1391 days ago (July 8th, 2013)
that
was a total treat, love when you almost sound like Dylan this is fantastic!
Check out my latest song called Tempest Wave
woofer3 said 1391 days ago (July 9th, 2013)
thank you
the Dylan idea came from a Frank Zappa album - I think -Sheik Yerbouti [1979] - a bit irreverent I think, but well meaning.Appreciate your visit.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
kingbee said 1391 days ago (July 9th, 2013)
get me outta here
You'd think there weren't any other presenters on ITV apart from Ant and Dick. They're everywhere.
And sadly the idiots who once basked in the media glare get a second chance to annoy us even more ( step forward Peter Andre)
Anyway
Fantastic lyrics and a wonderful, albeit brief harmonica solo.
Love it
cheers
Check out my latest song called No expense spared
woofer3 said 1389 days ago (July 11th, 2013)
Thank you kingbee
Yep - you got it ok, such an irritating world isn't it but the thing that gets to me even more is the fact that so many people are swallowed in by this 'playschool comedy' - ah never mind. Glad you liked it. It's stuff like this that keeps me going. John.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
KCsGROOVE said 1391 days ago (July 9th, 2013)
I'm a celebrity
cool lyrics and performance
very much enjoyed this piece
KC
Check out my latest song called 60-s
woofer3 said 1389 days ago (July 11th, 2013)
thanks
glad you liked it. John.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
KCsGROOVE said 1391 days ago (July 9th, 2013)
I'm a celebrity
cool lyrics and performance
very much enjoyed this piece
KC
Check out my latest song called 60-s
Llarion said 1391 days ago (July 9th, 2013)
Outrageous and hilarious!
Very well crafted and executed, this was a barrel of fun! Thanks for the laugh to start my day!!
Check out my latest song called Door to Babylon
woofer3 said 1389 days ago (July 11th, 2013)
thanks
for listening, appreciate your comments. I had fun making it as well.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
J_Gretch said 1389 days ago (July 10th, 2013)
i'm a celebrity
"We lower the bar again"...Great message man and a very cool song to convey it.This must have taken some time to put together,everything is so tight.
Check out my latest song called All I'll ever Need
woofer3 said 1389 days ago (July 11th, 2013)
thank you
I honestly can't remember how long it took to make but as I remember most of the work was in the vocal harmonies as is usually the case.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Daugrin said 1389 days ago (July 10th, 2013)
Hey John
So well done, it becomes even a parody of itself. You are the
greatest...

Daug
Check out my latest song called Games For May
woofer3 said 1389 days ago (July 11th, 2013)
thank you Daug -
you don't think I'm getting too serious with my music then !!

John.

Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
woofer3 said 1389 days ago (July 11th, 2013)
thanks muchly
just answered this and it vanished !!!! demons in the machine I think.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Philip18 said 1389 days ago (July 10th, 2013)
I'm a celebrity
Very funny song, John. The energetic music suits the lyrics. Lively arrangement and clean recording. I love it!
woofer3 said 1389 days ago (July 11th, 2013)
thanks
Philip, I'm pleased that you liked it.

John.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
J.A.Stewart said 1388 days ago (July 11th, 2013)
The A - B - Cs...
Airheads, Bimbos and Celebrities. Yes, we're well beyond the pale of sensibility, John. Thanks for noticing and adding your voice to the struggle to stomp out these fatuous abominations.

It's a CRAZY WORLD we live in... and we're stuck here. ;)

--- Joe
Check out my latest song called Crankenhurst Challenge - Verse 1-7 (Inst. Break)
woofer3 said 1388 days ago (July 12th, 2013)
thank you JA
Like I've said before I always feel better when I've had a little snipe at one of my pet hates.

John.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Fire_Angel said 1388 days ago (July 11th, 2013)
Yay! Nice to hear this.
It's great to hear such an eloquent condemnation of the shallow talentless personality cults that make some people so famous for no discernible reason. I would guess billions of people agree with you but somehow it doesn't stop the phenomenon. Anyway you let off some steam making this and I let off some steam laughing at the humour in it. Thanks!
Check out my latest song called Dreamer's Dance.
woofer3 said 1388 days ago (July 12th, 2013)
shallowness, yes ,
-how right you are, but on the up side I am provided with a constant and plentiful supply of song subjects especially if you include politicians. Thanks for your comment and for listening. J.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
bud said 1388 days ago (July 11th, 2013)
this is cool
droll and spot on - nice arrangement - little bit of Kinks - John Cooper Clark - and hey - there's Zimmy!
Check out my latest song called Polara
woofer3 said 1388 days ago (July 12th, 2013)
thank you Bud -
yes indeed Bob happened to be hanging around so I roped him in ! I had to pay extra for the harmonica break though. JJ.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
apb said 1387 days ago (July 12th, 2013)
Excellent..

It made me think of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody meets some Kinks.. and though that Dylan throw-in was purile.. ;) it did make me laugh ...
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woofer3 said 1385 days ago (July 15th, 2013)
thank you
Glad you liked it and the Dylan bit was meant to sound a little puerile of course like the subjects it's trying to mock.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
MarkHolbrook said 1387 days ago (July 13th, 2013)
Spot on
woofer classic tune! Really cool!
Check out my latest song called Corn Whiskey
woofer3 said 1385 days ago (July 15th, 2013)
hello Marc
thank you for visiting and commenting.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
paul f. page said 1385 days ago (July 14th, 2013)
Just...WOW
All the comments above are right on the money. What a beautifully-produced song. Accompaniment is so solid and all that choral mimicry is just wonderful. And you've nailed the lyrics: dumbed down is right. Best thing to do is ignore 'em and don't buy tickets or CDs or whatever else they're selling. Great song. Much enjoyed. (Odd comment coming from me, but, hey, I do crawl out from the 18th century now and again.
Check out my latest song called Far From The Madding Crowd
woofer3 said 1385 days ago (July 15th, 2013)
Paul hello
Thank you for this kind and generous comment and I'm glad you liked it, I don't suppose there'll ever be any danger of me becoming a famous and successful writer but putting things like this together does provide me with some opportunity to snipe at some of the many irritations around these days and at the same time gives me great pleasure. Thanks again. ps the eighteenth century is not such a bad place to be. Best wishes.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Monkaton said 1384 days ago (July 15th, 2013)
Late to the Party
Nothing much more for me to write on this groovy bit that hasn't already been written.

Great keyboard sounds and well recorded. Very nice lead before Zimmerman comes in.
Check out my latest song called The Chord
woofer3 said 1383 days ago (July 17th, 2013)
hello Tim
Many thanks fella, just airing my views a bit.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
Genre Info
The terms alternative rock and alternative music[1] were coined in the early 1980s to describe punk rock-inspired music genres which didn't fit into the mainstream genres of the time. At times it was used as catch-all phrase for rock music from under

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