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Children's Favourites? (with Hackneybloke)


by

DWL

 Genre: Children's Music

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First of all the thanks:

Julian (hackneybloke) for putting down his guitar and lending his whistling talents to this.

Alan Gentle for the “Brazilian” verse and my long time collaborator Richard Marris for suggesting some subtle but important lyrical changes.

A song driven by overwhelming nostalgia and overwhelming despair at how our children are sold pop music. I know sex has always been used to sell music but it seems to me that what children (and I guess, us) are being given now has gone beyond the pale.

I don't know how many of the songs I reference are known as they are all pretty old but they were the soundtrack to my childhood and I've given links to them. In fact, I think I've put more links in this write up than Miley Cyrus has had twerks. If you do follow any I hope you enjoy the experience.

I am indebted to my American friend Gary Wood for pointing out "suspenders" have a different meaning in America so for any non-Brits think Sally Bowles, think Cabaret, think the musical Chicago when hearing "suspenders"

Glitches abound, for some reason I really struggled with playing this.

Children's Favourites was a kids program on the radio in the 50s/60s.

The picture is courtesy of the one million royalty free photos from the British Library
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Lyrics
There's been a bit of bother on the road to Mandalay
Nellie packed her trunk and left but somehow lost her way
Sparky's magic keys won't work and Chicken Licken's dead
Trigger's in a burger now and that ain't right said Fred

The runaway train is long time gone and the policeman isn't laughing
Looby Loo has bought a thong and taken up pole dancing
The Teddy Bears have sold the woods and moved to St Tropez
And little Miss Muffet will show you her tuffet if you're prepared to pay

Seven going on seventeen, a twerking clone, a kiddy queen
basque, suspenders, high heel shoes, forget the music, this ain't blues
Selling sex to pre-pubescents, why wait 'til they're adolescents
Catch 'em young, catch 'em stupid, while they still believe in Cupid

Now every little girl is told if you want to earn a million
Gotta grind it like Rhianna, wax your own brazilian
Charts are full of hoes and tarts, TOWIE and vajazzles
And the tweenies wear bikinis cause they wanna work the razzle

How to get and keep a boy, how to get and keep a girl
All the kind of useful stuff you'll need when you turn 12
Puff has lost his magic and now he's smoking crack
But all I know is that now it's gone, my boomerang won't come back

Links:

Nellie The Elephant

Sparky

Chicken Licken

Trigger

Right Said Fred

Runaway train

Laughing Policeman

Looby Loo

Teddy Bears

Twerk

TOWIE

Vajazzles

My Boomerang Won't Come Back

Puff The Magic Dragon

Song Stats
Hits: 2839
Comments: 71
Fans: 39
Plays: 173
Downloads: 41

Uploaded: Jan 04, 2014 - 08:41:36 AM
Last Updated: Apr 08, 2015 - 02:00:15 AM Last Played: Sep 18, 2017 - 10:45:53 AM
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Comments
richard13 said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Brilliant Dick
Not only a very fun song to listen to, it is, as usual, full of social comment -- and ain't it the truth! (I have to agree with Fred that Trigger should not be in a burger ;-) and those of us on this side of the pond, those of us with any sense of humor at least, learned the Brit meaning of suspenders from the Lumberjack Song.)
Julian's whistling is sublime.
Check out my latest song called one last night with you
DWL said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Thanks Richard!
It's taken some time to get it here but I'm pleased it arrived in the end and that you enjoyed it.

Two countries and the same language eh?

Did you know what vajazzles are though? ;-)

Cheers

Dick

Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
richard13 said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
:-)
That one I looked up. I guess when everything else has been "decorated" you work with what's left ;-)
Check out my latest song called one last night with you
woofer3 said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Children's Favourites
A highly enjoyable song with highly enjoyable performances[liked Julian's contribution very much]your vocals -perfect and fitting -the whole thing is so hooky - I have always hankered after music like this, you know the type that was once tagged 'novelty' and made to cheer you up and usually clocking in at around three minute mark. Great stuff, I have a large collection mostly from the twenties and thirties. Superb work Dick and Julian.

I share your sentiments with regard to it's inspiration as I also dislike the majority of what I hear today as well and the -overdone use of sex to sell -

Listening to this I'm sure you'd love some of the old 'hokum' records in my collection.

footnote - if the artists and writers today think they have the market cornered with their sexy approach then I would tell them to listen to 'Shave 'em dry' by Lucille Bogan - the unreleased version of course - here's a gal that didn't pull her punches!!- It can be heard here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ko2VXpW7_g
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
DWL said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Thanks John
I've always loved "novelty" songs as well. I was discussing it with my wife today and saying that there is very little humour in mainstream music now. Artists like Bernard Cribbins and Charlie Drake were big names and the charts looked very different. I guess I'm just getting old and cranky!

I expect I'd love a lot of the songs you've got . Blimey, Lucille has a way with words hasn't she? But, it wasn't meant for kids was it?

Thanks for those thoughts, comments and the link.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
woofer3 said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
Dick
Ha ha -still laughing at your " Blimey, Lucille has a way with words" - yes she certainly has. but it just goes to show than no matter what you say or do someone has almost certainly done it before. Most of the old hokum records were full of double meanings as well but they were funny if only for their quaintness, or should that be quaintidity! -

John.
Check out my latest song called Drunken bakers [08-01]
DWL said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
Very true John, nothing is new
There's a CD called Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll: Music That Broke The Rules that you might enjoy. Some splendid track titles like Let Me Play With Your Poodle and I Like My Baby's Pudding
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Reinholt56 said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Hi Dick....
The lyrics brought some memories back for me. I wondered about the dragon as I listened and sure enough, he was there. Great.
Charlie Drake's old favourite of mine just finished the song off for me. Brilliant.
Great backing and great concept music and lyrics.

I just know I'm not going to get to sleep tonight, as Sooty and the Woodentops sing me to sleep with 'Muffin the Mule'....Loobyloo doing the dancing. All to the tune of Magic Roundabout.

Take care.

Paul
Check out my latest song called Back From Outer Space (A Reflective Ambient Mix)
DWL said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Muffin the Mule
we know a joke about that don't we children?

I had wonderful fun digging out the links. I defy anyone not to giggle at Nellie the Elephant or The Laughing Policeman although Boomerang is borderline racist....

Times change..

Thanks for the listen and comments Paul and I hope your sleep is not too disturbed (watch that rabbit)

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
davisamerica said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
love the jaw harp!
Shame isn't it? This is delightful. Downloaded.
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DWL said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Not often I find somewhere
I can use the jaw harp!

Thanks Jack, I'm pleased you enjoyed it :-)

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Bob Rodgers said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Lots
of memories here for me Dick, brilliant writing and a strong solid performance.
A very enjoyable song with a nice choice of instruments and superb whistling from Julian.

Bob
Check out my latest song called The Lonely Man
DWL said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
We're of that age Bob!
That Julian bloke certainly can whistle and as I said to Len, I never realised how difficult it was!

Thanks for listen and comments and if I've given you some good memories then that's a bonus!

Cheers

Dick

Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
davisamerica2 said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Felt like a kid again.
Help me get back!!! Great song, Dick. Really got into the lyrics. This whole production was perfect! The world needs more scoldings like this.
Check out my latest song called Road to Yourself/with Abandon Style
DWL said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Back in the day eh Terry?
What the world needs and what it gets are unfortunately very different things but I really appreciate the sentiments.

Ah well, we can at least dream and the songs I linked to still give me great pleasure.

Thanks for the kind comments!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
kingbee said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Ed Stewpot
I ended up listening to his Junior(?) choice programme over xmas and all those old songs like 3 wheels on my wagon and all i want for xmas is me 2 front teeth...though I think most of the people listening were our age.
There's not much room in the pop charts for fun and innocence anymore. They should have the 7 dwarves singing. 'It's off to Twerk we go"
Anyway, great song and great lyrics pulling in the cultural references...but you just reminded me of Torchy the battery boy which is a very suspect.
Episode one is on youtube. Scary.
Great stuff Dick
Cheers
Check out my latest song called No expense spared
DWL said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
I'd forgotten about Stewpot
Perhaps I'm a bit older than you...

Off to Twerk We Go - brilliant, I should have asked you for some lyrics as well.

Just watched Torchy.... kids, garden, old man, cruelty to animals - yep, distinctly dodgy and rather unsettling (and my wife thinks I'm regressing)

Thanks for the listen and comments Brendan :-)

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
hackneybloke said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
kids
for some reason i had to put on a flat cap before i could whistle on this.
Check out my latest song called If Symptoms Persist
DWL said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
You made the song Mr Sims!
Many thanks for your contribution, flat cap and all ;-)

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
paul f. page said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Social Commentary
You are right on the money, Dick. I am afraid I don't "get" all the references, but the inferences are clear...and frightening. You have a way of expressing reality that is always palpable. We need more doses of your musical/lyrical medicine if we're going to get out of this alive! ... I liked the lilt of the song musically, and the whistling is the perfect extra touch. I must confess to having some difficulty with the volume of the lyrics until the middle of the final pass. Probably just me, but I thought this could all have come up some in the mix. You ARE singing quite softly, generally. ... Thoroughly enjoyed this new number.
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DWL said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
Thanks Paul
If you don't know the songs then I guess the references will be a little obscure! If you get any time follow some of the links I've given. As I said before, I defy anyone not to smile at least to Nellie The Elephant or the Laughing Policeman.

What the answer is I don't know. It's not just the music industry but the whole "entertainment" machine which most people feed as they don't have the wit or desire to reject it. It's very kind of you to infer that anything I could do would change anything but I can't imagine many being swayed by a few words.

I was deliberately singing softly in the nature of a children's song but perhaps I took it too far. The problem is that living with a song for a long while one gets used to how it sounds and I thought the vocals were too upfront!

Thanks for the taking the time to listen and comment in detail.

Cheers

Dick


Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
alackbass said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Children's Favourites? (with Hackneybloke)
Brilliant!!!!!!

Downloaded!
Check out my latest song called Mean Miss Teacher
DWL said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
Thanks Andrew
much appreciated!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Philip18 said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Children's favourites
You have to wonder what the impact of all this will be in the future - hard to believe it won't change things. What really disappoints me is that the singers feel they have to be more and more explicit and outrageous instead of letting the music be the focus. But I suppose there were plenty who looked at Elvis and The Rolling Stones and saw the end of the world coming.

Anyway, back to the song. What a delightful performance! Gently whimsical but with a strong message. I love the Charlie Drake sproing sounds!

Terrific, Dick! (in both the original and modern sense of "terrific").
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DWL said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
In the end
I don't know if the singers have a lot of say in how they are presented. I suspect the younger ones probably have little choice and the older ones know it sells records. Where it will all lead bothers me. There is always a point in children's lives when they want to be grown-up and I see this constant exposure to sexualised images bringing that point to be ever younger. Another line Alan Gentle gave me that I didn't use was "they lose their innocence before they learn to spell it". Says it all!

Thanks for the listen and comments Philip.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
davajonah said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Seriously...
...good. Lyrics especially. Although I was a little disappointed that there was no mention of Tinga and Tucker or Pinky and Perky.

Great message, played brilliantly with fabulous humour.
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DWL said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
Funny you should mention Pinky and Perky
When Graeme and I had a duo we put together a Pinky and Perky rap to use as an intro track for live gigs.

Funny how many more names come to mind when you start thinking about it! I don't remember much about Tingha and Tucker. I just looked them up on Wikipedia and I think it's because we didn't have a TV until about 1964 and by that time I was getting a bit old for those sorts of kids programs.

Your thoughts and comments are much appreciated :-)

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
jiguma said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Another gem!
Great words, whistling and song Dick.
Brightened up my day.
Cheers from Oz,
Neil
btw have you heard from Marc recently?
Check out my latest song called We End Up Being All The Same (42)
DWL said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
Thanks Neil, much appreciated!
Pleased to have brightened up your day (although the greyness here could do with some lightening!)

I've not heard from Marc for a while but I'll be contacting him soon as I'm going over in June and was going to try and see him.

Cheers

Dick


Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Vic Holman said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Children's Favourites?
very charming. excellent lyrics and composition. super stuff
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DWL said 1355 days ago (January 8th, 2014)
Thanks Vic
much appreciated!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
particledots said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
wow
what a great sound...playing, recording, production

well done guys....very impressive
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DWL said 1355 days ago (January 8th, 2014)
Thanks Bryn
I'm pleased you enjoyed it!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
MotherofMeursault said 1359 days ago (January 4th, 2014)
Brilliant work!
That whistling really set the tone, and was the perfect lead in to a fine, fine song. Much enjoyed!

MoM
Check out my latest song called Useful Idiots
DWL said 1355 days ago (January 8th, 2014)
Thanks for stopping by
Julian has a mean whistle!

Thanks for the listen and comment and I enjoyed Olm and had to go Googling!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Daugrin said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
English Wimsy?
Not being an Englishman I guess. This is from what we in the US call the Songster or Busker tradition? Great job and thanks. Keep the tunes coming!

Daug
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DWL said 1355 days ago (January 8th, 2014)
Wimsy?
Perhaps, I prefer to think I was tapping into my childhood memories but maybe it is wimsy.

Many thanks for the listen and comments.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Moviz said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
Loved it
Loved it Dick....wonderful lyrics that fit beautifully with all that's going on today....love how you made those old familiar children's characters fit in to todays cheap and somewhat nasty trends and fashions with that tongue in cheek commentary....great work by all and you sound great.....all the best for the New Year Dick and all, M
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DWL said 1355 days ago (January 8th, 2014)
Cheap and nasty?
Got me in one ;-)

Thanks Maurice. It took a while to get it anywhere near how I originally heard it in my head.

All the best to you!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
lengold said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
Absolutely
brilliant.
Cheers
Len

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DWL said 1354 days ago (January 9th, 2014)
Thanks Len, much appreciated!
Hope to see you soon.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
stevel said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
Great track!
Really good one...very clever lyrics!
Cheers
Steve
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DWL said 1354 days ago (January 9th, 2014)
Pleased you enjoyed it Steve!
Thanks for that and hope to see you soon as well.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
magnatone said 1358 days ago (January 5th, 2014)
Children's Favourites
this is just fabulous - thank you so much for the D/L, I will enjoy this for a long time to come.
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DWL said 1354 days ago (January 9th, 2014)
Always a pleasure
to see you Karen!

Thanks for taking the time to listen and the comments :-)

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
gadzooks said 1357 days ago (January 6th, 2014)
Children's Favourites?
Well done and some mighty fine whistling!
Cheers
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DWL said 1354 days ago (January 9th, 2014)
He's a devil with that whistling is Julian!
Thanks Stan, your listen and comments are much appreciated.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Franciscus_Henri said 1356 days ago (January 7th, 2014)
FABULOUS
I spent Forty years creating music for children
and I totally agree with what you're saying. I'm not sentimental about children or childhood
but I firmly believe that the manipulation of the childhood experience borders on sinister.
At the risk of seeming to be politically correct..My boomerang ..no longer goes down well in Australai especially not with the aboriginal children I have worked with. It was ofcourse never intended to be a children's song and as a teenager I sang it with gusto naive of the racial implication as for Puff and Jacky Paper(?) who know what those hippies were on about (tongue in cheek no doubt)
Your song is fantastic.!
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DWL said 1354 days ago (January 9th, 2014)
Sinister indeed
it's obviously just my take on it but I feel kids are being manipulated. Although the lyrics talk about kids being stupid I actually don't think they are. They are simply being manipulated before they are able to think fully for themselves. They are sold a diet of celebrity and appearance. The kids songs of the 50s and 60s are long gone.

I agree with you about "boomerang". I'm not surprised it's regarded in a negative light in Oz. It's blatantly racist and I hadn't realised until I thought to use the phrase in this song.

Puff was always good for a bit of "knowing" hippy banter although I think it was probably fairly innocent and I've sullied his name forever ;-)

Thanks for the comments and I'm especially pleased as they come from a background of children's songs.

I just listened to some of your songs. I really like them and I've just added you to my favourites so I don't miss any more!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
grah3am said 1355 days ago (January 8th, 2014)
I git them all
So that must mean I had a misspelt yooth, listening to Children's Favourites. I think the sexualisation of kids is wrong, but how can the poor things avoid it? Any road, excellent song and production, you guys.
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DWL said 1354 days ago (January 9th, 2014)
Misspelt?
Very clever Mr G ;-)

How can they avoid it? Good question and one I have no answer to and just rail at the world....

Thanks for the listen and comments.

Cheers

Dick

Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
LisaHawbaker said 1355 days ago (January 8th, 2014)
fun!
very creative.
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DWL said 1354 days ago (January 9th, 2014)
Thanks Lisa
I appreciate you stopping by and I'm pleased you enjoyed it.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
egobandit said 1351 days ago (January 12th, 2014)
right said fred
really like the guitar on this of course the whistling is top notch the spring sounds are very cool great song! BTW dont cry :)
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DWL said 1342 days ago (January 21st, 2014)
Don't cry?
I'm an inveterate cry baby. I cry at the adverts.

Thanks for stopping by Tim, much appreciated.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
KCsGROOVE said 1351 days ago (January 12th, 2014)
lovely song
Made me smile all the way
thanks for lifting my mood :-)
KC
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DWL said 1342 days ago (January 21st, 2014)
Pleased to be of service
thanks for the listen and comments Cees.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
echoroom said 1344 days ago (January 19th, 2014)
Funniest thing Ive heard in ages
And little Miss Muffet will show you her tuffet if you're prepared to pay ...

What a fantastic lyric, like Charlie Brooker doing Newsround. Is that a Rolf reference at the end ???
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DWL said 1342 days ago (January 21st, 2014)
Thanks Steve
Charlie Brooker and Newsround? Love it!

Yes, it all got a bit dodgy with the Rolf reference. Can you see what it is yet kids?

The London MJers are meeting in London on Tuesday 11th Feb if you happen to be around. PM me for details if you can make it.

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Warren Smith said 1340 days ago (January 23rd, 2014)
On the mark
Ha-ha-ha-hah! Very clever indeed.

And such a cute little melody.

This is the kind of musical nostalgia that usually sets in when a person is turning 60. How close are you to that mark?
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DWL said 1338 days ago (January 25th, 2014)
On the mark indeed!
I was 60 last year, doesn't seem possible but somehow it happened ;-)

Thanks for the listen and comment Warren, much appreciated.

Cheers

Dick


Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
BirdmanWayne94 said 1329 days ago (February 3rd, 2014)
Two of...
... my favorite MJers in one song; it's got to be a hit! Wonderful work here. Love the mood, the words, the whistles, the picking, and pretty much everything!

Salute.
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DWL said 1301 days ago (March 3rd, 2014)
Thnaks Yemen
my apologies for not responding earlier!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
867-5309 said 1325 days ago (February 7th, 2014)
yes
it is so cool ! - like Leprechaun's storybook - with dave carpenter's narration - this one just pulls you right in ! - great work !
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DWL said 1301 days ago (March 3rd, 2014)
Nice of you to drop by Scott
and apologies to you too!

Leprechaun's storybook - something to look up

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Briguy777 said 1323 days ago (February 9th, 2014)
Great Tune!
The Production, instrumentation and vocals combined with these lyrics?! Unbelievable!! Amazing!! Brilliant work!
Thanks
Brian
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DWL said 1301 days ago (March 3rd, 2014)
Thanks Brian
You are too kind!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Marino_Experiment said 1309 days ago (February 23rd, 2014)
Nice
Very nicely done....great playing and lyrical layering!
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DWL said 1301 days ago (March 3rd, 2014)
Thanks!
I'm not very good at checking back to see if there are any more comments. .

I'm pleased you enjoyed it!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Hickling_Stan said 552 days ago (March 21st, 2016)
Brilliant
Lyrics to be truly proud of Dick and a pertinent piece of social commentary. Having grown up with Ed Stewart's Junior choice I get all the references.
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DWL said 545 days ago (March 28th, 2016)
10/10
Getting all the references dates us but thanks for the comments!

I thought this was finished but it's nice to see it isn't :-)

Stewpot rules!

Cheers

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
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Name: Dick langford
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10 years here (at time of writing!) - it doesn't seem that long ago I wrote "it doesn't seem that long ago I wrote 5 years"... Older but no wiser. The musical projects that make up Amokopera are now complete and Distant England (the story of... [see more]

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