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Elephants


by

jobu

 Genre: Pop (Alternative)

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Description
New song. A little outside for me. I hope you like it and thanks for listening.
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Song Stats
Hits: 696
Comments: 6
Fans: 3
Plays: 34
Downloads: 0

Uploaded: Mar 15, 2015 - 05:16:49 PM
Last Updated: Mar 15, 2015 - 05:16:49 PM Last Played: Feb 01, 2017 - 01:28:53 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NoDerivs-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

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Comments
Daugrin said 832 days ago (March 16th, 2015)
Elephants Memory
Always enjoy your work. Great talent here.
Better and better, another ballad. The world needs more ballads, especially now a days.
Nits from the production side of the Daug house: this mix is too traditional (88-94). Not modern, in the sense that all the space is being utilized.
Keyboard solo needs use some spice, technique, something to raise it about the forgettable. Swell your pad after the solo. Maybe revoice that pad into a mellotron thing?
Thanks for posting with us. Great to have you here. The vocals work... are intelligent and fun, this is so rare.

Daug
Check out my latest song called Medea Don't Matr H8 Party
jobu said 831 days ago (March 17th, 2015)
Thanks
Yeah, I knew this one was a little different. I was going for some new sounds. The string solo isn't the best and I probably could have spent more time on it, but I really fell in love with the pedaled "A" in that section. Seems like it got funkier there. I really appreciate your support over my past several songs and very much appreciate the constructive criticism. Thanks.
Check out my latest song called Solo
jiguma said 831 days ago (March 18th, 2015)
Cool pop
Hi, as you seem to be after constructive criticism, I have some ideas - I only offer them because you obviously have talent and deserve a serious listen. I don't wish to offend!
The song and your vocals work really well, and the song has a nice groove.
To me, the instrumentation is where you need to do some work. That keyboard solo section is pretty weak, and the arrangement could definitely do with some added interest.
For the style, I reckon you could shave a minute in order to make it more radio friendly if that's what you're after.
How were the drums done? They seem a little too predictable to me - the first 2:13 sounds like the same loop, there's a different middle, and then the loop returns. Maybe try using midi drums and fiddling with the variuous parts of the kit a bit to provide something different - eg change the hihat pattern every now and again, or the kick. If you're in Logic, you could let Drummer do some of the work for you to mix things up a little.
Apart from the middle section, there's not much light and shade going on, and I reckon you could improve things by bringing in and out some of the keys for different verses and/or choruses.
You do have a great voice and it is really well recorded here.
I will try to have a listen to some other songs of yours, you're obviously someone with potential.
Cheers from Down Under,
Neil
Check out my latest song called BiiK
PeterB7858 said 830 days ago (March 18th, 2015)
Elephants
You have a fine voice and it is well on display here. Nice, smooth groove to the song, as well, but, as Neil says the drums could do with a touch more variety. I like your work. Thanks, Peter.
Check out my latest song called Dancing In The Rain (GSB)
grah3am said 826 days ago (March 22nd, 2015)
Good tune
Great vocals. It wouldn't sound out of place on a Crowded House CD.
Check out my latest song called Ghost in the Machine
say said 700 days ago (July 27th, 2015)
Elephants
Listened to both versions, like this better-on both you have such a smooth genuine voice which is really earfriendly, lovely. Put some real kongas in & it would make a big difference : ) Nice to hear your music, thankyou
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Location: United States
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