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Lab Chimp


by

Warren Smith

 Genre: Rock

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Description
A lab chimp dreams of retirement.
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Lyrics
RETIRED LAB CHIMP [Buckley Smith]
 
stick electrodes in my head
spike my orange juice with lead
sprinkle ergot on my bread
toss me out when I am dead
I'm just a lab chimp
 
bathe me in depilatories
make me eat suppositories
share me with your palamories
keep me locked in laboratories
I'm just a lab chimp
 
dip my nut sack in hot tar
put my penis in a jar
run me over with your car
change my smile to a scar
I'm just a lab chimp
 
shoot me into outer space
hose my body down with mace
throw your insults in my face
pretend I am a different race
I'm just a lab chimp
I'm just a lab chimp
 
I’ve been caged in this lab
and it has really crimped my style
say one more experiment
just one more pharmaceutical trial
but whatever you do
you better do it quick
'cause I'm retiring next week
  
whiskey anytime I want it
with a stinky black cigar
a bonobo in my hammock
with a chalice of Cialis
I'll have bananas up the ass
and more shit than I can throw
and a mini motorcycle
with a license plate that crows:
I’m a retired lab chimp
I’m a retired lab chimp
I’m a retired lab chimp
I’m a retired lab chimp
Song Stats
Hits: 440
Comments: 15
Fans: 13
Plays: 30
Downloads: 7
Votes: 0
Uploaded: Aug 25, 2017 - 03:56:35 PM
Last Updated: Aug 25, 2017 - 03:56:35 PM Last Played: Sep 23, 2017 - 04:51:54 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-ShareAlike

Creative Commons

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Comments
Dean-Resonator said 86 days ago (August 26th, 2017)
Lab Chimp
Gold! This is what you do best Warren. Bright, witty, and fun. Not so much fun for the chimp, but at least he is retiring next week. Bravo.
Check out my latest song called Quiet Town
Warren Smith said 86 days ago (August 26th, 2017)
Is he or isn't he?
Or at least he thinks he's retiring. One has to have hope.
Check out my latest song called Crime Story
VicDiesel said 86 days ago (August 26th, 2017)
Chimp
I have actually seen a chimp in a lab with the cap of his skull sawn off. But that's a while ago. That lab has stopped doing that.

I think chimps have deserved their retirement. And this is a good send-off song.
Check out my latest song called Black Recorder
Warren Smith said 84 days ago (August 28th, 2017)
Lab work
Our horrific treatment of other animals knows no bounds.
Check out my latest song called Crime Story
Daugrin said 85 days ago (August 27th, 2017)
Yer a lab chimp?
Okay, I've heard the evidence, I am convinced.
Painfully funny as per usual Mr. Smith. Thank you for sharing your wit and wisdom with us here! More Monkey Chow and tropical fruit chunks all around!

Daug
Check out my latest song called TCYB/U Got No Mind
Warren Smith said 84 days ago (August 28th, 2017)
Stuck in this cage we call life
I just other people would stop experimenting on me.
Check out my latest song called Crime Story
Hickling_Stan said 84 days ago (August 28th, 2017)
Bright inventive
Top tune and very witty lyrics.....had a bit of a Zappa vibe going there in my head. very much enjoyed. Thanks for posting cheers Mark
Check out my latest song called Song for Sons
Warren Smith said 83 days ago (August 29th, 2017)
Musicology
There's no doubt Frank is a patron saint in my musical pantheon.
Check out my latest song called Crime Story
KCsGROOVE said 83 days ago (August 29th, 2017)
lab chimp
Talking about songideas, how do you come up with such a topic?
Aren't we all lab chimps in a way? :-)
funny lyrics but sad in a way too
Very much enjoyed!
KC
Check out my latest song called OUT OF MIND (3)
Warren Smith said 83 days ago (August 29th, 2017)
Where do these things come from
As Ray Davies sang, "We're all animals in the zoo/you look at me and I look at you."

The idea traces back to us seeing a photo of Cheetah (the chimp from the old Tarzan movies) drinking a glass of whiskey and smoking a cigar in retirement. I looked for the photo to post at the top, but I couldn't find it.
Check out my latest song called Crime Story
bud said 83 days ago (August 29th, 2017)
Excellent!
Great song, Warren. I really like the way you play lead guitar.

Check out my latest song called Oh Coast
Warren Smith said 83 days ago (August 29th, 2017)
Six strings
Yeah, but it's so different than the way you play guitar. Thanks.
Check out my latest song called Crime Story
bronco said 82 days ago (August 30th, 2017)
De-light-full
Funny as hell Warren. Of course, I am a retired lab chimp also so I can fully relate.
Check out my latest song called Satisfied Mind
Warren Smith said 81 days ago (August 31st, 2017)
Retired
Of course, the problem is that when you finally get out of the cage you are too old to really take advantage of the freedom : )
Check out my latest song called Crime Story
DWL said 77 days ago (September 4th, 2017)
Late but ....
Brilliant lyrics and delivery.

Loved it :-)

Dick
Check out my latest song called This Empire's State
Artist Info
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Name: Warren Smith
Location: Brooklyn NY USA
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Born in a Minnesota blizzard, I'm now residing in a coastal heat of Brooklyn, New York City. I recorded my first original composition as a teenager using a reel-to-reel tape recorder back in 1967, and I'm still finding it a creative challenge... [see more]

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