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Kirsty'n'Phil Are Dead

[Explicit]
by

eltopo

 Genre: Punk-Grunge
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Description
Haven't posted anything for yonks as I'm been working on an 'album' with my new collective Los Topos Extraordinarios.

However, this was made in 10 minutes, and as I'll never do anything with it ever again I thought I'd give it an audience rather than leave it forever on some CDR somewhere, just because...

The song is a response to all the family, friends, and concerned people who keep asking me and Mrs Topo why we haven't bought a sodding house.

It's, like. 'WHICH PART OF 'HOUSING BUBBLE FROM HELL' DON"T YOU UNDERSTAND????'

Besides we're too poor anyway, so it's completely non-applicable

Kirsty and Phil are two annoying people that present inane property shows on UK TV.

The line 'They're going to have to fill the up the schedules with some other sh*t instead' was inspired by the TV and radio stations that have emailed me recently to talk about frugality (I have a newsletter dealing with such matters). So I could be the next TV lifestyle guru! Cool!
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Lyrics
A young couple look in and estat agent's window
'My god, what have they done?'
'They're economically cleansing our asses'
'Are we gonna have our time in the sun?'

Then an estate agent says, 'Why don't you come in here'
'I'd like to stitch you up for thirty years'

They sat down with the mortgage advisor,
Some gel-haired tw*t
He said, 'You can't afford to buy bugger all'
'But we'll soon see to that'

And he talks them into committing fraud
A self-certification mortgage and certain divorce

They turn on their television
And see kirsty and phil
With a gormless family from London
Searching in the Devonshire hills

'This labourer's cottage is a million quid'
'And there's a shed outside you can use for your kids'

Turn on your television
Kirsty and Phil are dead
They're gonna have to fill up the shedules
With some other sh*t instead

Gordon Brown's miracle is over now
The gold goose has been trampled by the sacred cow

Hit it...
Song Stats
Hits: 3666
Comments: 14
Fans: 2
Plays: 339
Downloads: 144
Votes: 7
Uploaded: Sep 24, 2005 - 06:48:36 AM
Last Updated: Sep 24, 2005 - 10:19:46 AM Last Played: May 25, 2019 - 10:32:38 PM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
Ibook, abused Epiphone Sheraton, some el cheapo bass off of ebay
Software:
gb2, a drumloop
Comments
caroline said 5082 days ago (September 24th, 2005)
i've tried every way i know how to listen to this....
welcome back eltopo - sadly, i can't hear it - i've tried d/l, every button known to man - i'll come back later but - i was really looking forward to it x
Check out my latest song called i'm a reunion maid MJRF 2010
eltopo said 5081 days ago (September 25th, 2005)
i've tried every way i know how to listen to this....
Thanks for trying to listen to the song, Caroline. Seems to wok ok for me, so I
hope you come back and check it out!

---
I ain't marching anymore...
Check out my latest song called Gentrification (live)
stevel said 5081 days ago (September 24th, 2005)
Great to have you back!
I was just thinking last night...when will Eltopo post again? Good
track..rough and ready, few vocal pops. What I love about your songs is
that they are ABOUT stuff and you don't compromise on what you want
to say! Yes I am fed up too with all the UK lifestyle programmes...being
told what flat to buy, what curtains to choose etc etc. Particularly when
most of the people living in our 'classless society' can't afford bugger
all in terms of property anyway.
Let us know when the album is done!
Steve
Check out my latest song called Out of Reach
eltopo said 5081 days ago (September 25th, 2005)
Great to have you back!
Thanks, Steve. I love to write full-on tracks about completely tedious and
mundane things.
And it has started to do my head after years of listing to friends quoting
meejduh drivel about their homes straight off the TV - 'add value', 'I can
make money on it', 'it's an investment', 'up and coming area', 'you missed the
boat'.
I really do need a pop filter. There's no excuse - these things only cost about
12 quid.

---
I ain't marching anymore...
Check out my latest song called Gentrification (live)
mandolinquent said 5081 days ago (September 24th, 2005)
Welcome back...
Corrosive, well-aimed and totally thrilling. I love the guitar line.
This is the best sort of agit pop. Excellent stuff.
Check out my latest song called Fair Jenny's Jig and Matthew Briggs
eltopo said 5081 days ago (September 25th, 2005)
Welcome back...
Thanks for commenting, Mando.
It's good to have an electric guitar to hand now - the Sheraton seems to give
any old rubbish instant ballsy-ness.
Although ramshackle, I like the energy of this one. I think "'On the contrary"'s
tempo was a little too slow and turgid.

---
I ain't marching anymore...
Check out my latest song called Gentrification (live)
jesushairdo said 5081 days ago (September 24th, 2005)
good old pub rock!
hiya. kind reminded me of my college days in london years ago.
10 years ago..... id get soaked with cheap lager beer in campus
pubs and singing along with the pub rock music they played....
lovely.
Check out my latest song called Dawning
eltopo said 5081 days ago (September 25th, 2005)
good old pub rock!
I love a good live-sounding recording, so thank you!


---
I ain't marching anymore...
Check out my latest song called Gentrification (live)
caroline said 5081 days ago (September 25th, 2005)
finallly!! and worth both the waits!!!
you should send a copy of this to kirsty and phil - that might cure them - you stick your guns!! thank you for sharing x
Check out my latest song called i'm a reunion maid MJRF 2010
caroline said 5081 days ago (September 25th, 2005)
finallly!! and worth both the waits!!!
stick TO your guns!!!! sheeesh!
Check out my latest song called i'm a reunion maid MJRF 2010
Rebsie said 5081 days ago (September 25th, 2005)
Glad you posted this!
Love the driving guitar and the attitude ... that's a very British sound
you've got there. It's refreshing to hear such energy and passion in a
protest song. You've really summed up the annoying pointlessness of
TV property shows ... I've almost stopped watching television these
days because I can't stand all this insidious drivel. But you've expressed
it far better than I could have done.

'Gel-haired tw*t'? Hey, they must have had the same mortgage adviser
as I did!
Check out my latest song called Amongst The Colours (w/ Luna Trick)
country john said 5076 days ago (September 29th, 2005)
nice one dave . . .
great lyrics as always . . .

. . . and your voice is perfect ! . .

a proper british punk accent you got . . .

sweet as a nut

cj
Check out my latest song called atom bomb
mattxwill said 5012 days ago (December 2nd, 2005)
Title caugt my eye...
...lyrics are great.
FSVC said 5004 days ago (December 10th, 2005)
Awesome.
I loved it, it was v. punkish and i love your accent. You're a great guitar player and I just completely loved that song.
Check out my latest song called Spaceman Colin
Artist Info
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Name: David
Location: London UK
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I'm a deputy editor by trade (which in reality means I'm a bit of a proof reader/mac monkey/gopher). When out of the office I love to RAWK AND ROLL, though. I haven't had a band for few years, but was in the immortal if short lived folk-punkers, Hugh... [see more]

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