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 Genre: Acoustic

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My first song on macjams. I wrote this after listeming to lots of Ryan Adams. I'm looking for any feedback that can be offered as I only began recording with Garageband a few months ago
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Been walking blind with no staff to guide
Seems logic walked out the door
Now I'm feeling seasick like a stranded ship
With a thousand broken oars....Helpless
Song Stats
Hits: 3072
Comments: 6
Fans: 2
Plays: 166
Downloads: 125
Votes: 2
Uploaded: Dec 24, 2005 - 12:23:14 PM
Last Updated: Dec 24, 2005 - 02:24:17 AM Last Played: Jan 11, 2019 - 06:57:28 PM
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Creative Commons License:

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Condenser mic and a powerbook g4
dreadmon said 4985 days ago (December 25th, 2005)
Well done -
You've got a nice natural voice, be encouraged. Sounds like the melody might still be in development; once you've got the verses locked down, you're gonna nail this song. The guitar and harmonica could definitely come up in the mix. Melody in the bridge likewise seems to be brewing, you don't sound as comfortable singing this and some of the lyrics seem rushed together as if you're not sure how they fit - maybe a rewrite here to allow some more space in the delivery. At first listen, the bridge seems to be in a stretchy part of your range, but I think once you work the melody how you like, it will be very easy for you to reach those notes. Overall, this is a very good beginning, better than most I've heard. Spend some more time going over alternatives for your melodies in the verses and bridge and work on bringing the guitar and harmonica up in the mix. Also, watch your mic technique while singing - back off for high volume, get in close for low volume. This will save you having to come back with the pen tool to equalize the volume. Looking forward to hearing how this one comes out!
Check out my latest song called Don't You
milkus said 4985 days ago (December 25th, 2005)
Well done -
Thanks for the encouraging words and advice. I know I need to work on the mix
and the delivery is sketchy at times, with time I hope to dial this in to where It
sounds how I want and remove some of the rough edges. Thanks again.
Check out my latest song called Pyramid
stevel said 4982 days ago (December 28th, 2005)
Great clear vocals!
This is a lovely intimate tune...you have a really good clear voice, very
expressive and nice to listen to. My only slight crit would be the first verse
is a bit 'metaphor heavy' but it gets better lyrically later on.
Like that ghostly harmonica too!
Check out my latest song called Out of Reach
Leon said 4981 days ago (December 30th, 2005)
Diamond in the rough
This is an undiscovered gem.

You hit the high notes with calculated restraint and it has lots of hurt-
feelings effect to it. You have a really great voice, clear and full of
emtion. I have given that compliment to only a few artists here.

Your composition is also profound in lyricism. The arrangement is
overly simplified but that may not necessarily be a negative thing. The
rawness makes it more apealing in some way.

High marks here again! You should hang out at the chat room a little
more to advertise your song and let your awesome musical presence
known and you will get your due attention. That current score is not
reflective of your true abilities. You deserve much better so I'm giving
you my cent's worth of numerical honors...
Check out my latest song called Just Another Day
Joshosh said 4978 days ago (January 2nd, 2006)
I agree..
with leon. Definitely hidden gem material. I agree about the chat room too. If you hype this up I bet you'll be surprised how much attention you'll get, and that just builds as time goes on. Great stuff. Voice is just a legit solo artists. The vibrato is very nice, very radio-friendy/Rob Thomasesque (sorry, if you hate him). But, yeah. I dig it.
Check out my latest song called It's You
screamalexz said 4139 days ago (April 20th, 2008)
another good song that just needs some production tweaks. seems you haven't been on here in a few years.. hopefully you will make your way back as what you have from so long ago is so beautiful im sure its only gotten better.
Check out my latest song called Broken Spirit
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Name: Chris Nilsson
Location: Pukalani HI
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I write songs, sometimes they mysteriously end up here. I like to express things through songs. All I really play is the acoustic guitar and the occasional midi track. I haven't figured out drums yet, but give me a few years. Garageband is great ... [see more]

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