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The Significant Sorrows of Sasquatchia



 Genre: Classical

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How does someone come up with something as crazy as this?

Well, I’ll try to explain...

These three songs are the first of six total that I composed in a 24 hour period (See also Stratosphere and Fruit Loops—Persimmons).
The idea and title for the song cycle came from a conversation I had with a friend in which we decided it would be hilarious to do either a musical or an opera about Bigfoot (Sasquatch), with one of the characters being “Sasquatchia.”
For my 24-hour challenge, I decided that I would do a song cycle spoof in the style of modern Art Song.
While I had a good idea of what I wanted to do, I left all to improvisation (though I had the first song’s lyrics already decided).
I improvised five piano tracks, then chose three from those to work with, writing the lyrics for the last two songs based upon what they sounded like.
I added the software instruments to each one, again improvising over the piano line: English horn, bassoon and flute, then improvised the vocals, going back to fix timing issues or glitches on both instrumental and vocal tracks.

Yes, the vocal style is melodramatic and overwrought… Please don’t attempt to sing like this at home!

Enjoy! :)
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I: My Cousin Cascadia

When I spy sweet red berries in the spring bracken hedge
I cannot help but think of my Cousin Cascadia
With her seven hungry children and a pet raccoon.

And I wonder if they ever traded that awful avocado shag carpet
In the living room for some nice taupe berber.

II: Ducks!!

Back and forth, to and fro
All the day long I must endure
The endless travel of ducks on the walkway!

Why can they not stop?
Oh, every day it’s the same thing.
Jabbering, yabbering!
Will they not stop?
Quack, quack, quackity-quack!
They fluff their feathers and turn to go back
You'd think they’d find something better to do
With their time than annoy me.

Quack, quack, quackity-quack!
They fluff their feathers and turn to go back
Endless pace, they waddle and race.
Following, dawdling, noisily trot-iling
Never to stop ‘til I’m finally tottering!
Oh! Oh!

There’s two more….at the door.
Please go home!

III: Relatives !!!!

In the cool shade of summer,
How I love to drift through the garden picking flowers,
All the colors of the rainbow,
Perfume wafting in the air.

And then they come—The Relatives!
My cousin Otis and his smarmy little wife.
Who brings us persimmons every third week in July.

They make me break out in a rash!
Oh! The indignity!
While some may think it clever,
I am not amused.
And I have to sit there and talk to them
Keep them entertained…
Until they leave me.

And then I return again to my garden
Where I can sing.

lyrics ©2005 Mystified
Song Stats
Hits: 4110
Comments: 23
Fans: 7
Plays: 292
Downloads: 89

Uploaded: Mar 02, 2006 - 11:14:45 PM
Last Updated: Oct 07, 2013 - 02:34:39 AM Last Played: Jun 27, 2019 - 02:30:02 PM
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said 4888 days ago (March 3rd, 2006)
Wonderfully Nutz!
This is some listening experience. The beautifully played and moody
melody evokes an feeling of sadness and empathy while the over-the-top
vocal and lyrics make me want to fall off my chair laughing. Bilbo Baggins
would have loved this one.
said 4888 days ago (March 3rd, 2006)
What's Really Funny
Is that 100 years ago, I don't think this type of singing would have been
heard as over-the-top. :)
So who is going to play the male Bigfoot? I nominate Ronnie Long. :)
Mystified said 4887 days ago (March 4th, 2006)
What's Really Funny
You're probably right about 100 years ago and as re: ronnielong as
Bigfoot....Hahahahahahahahah!!! (I hope ronnie sees that! :)

Thanks for the comment ;)
Check out my latest song called Elevated--Miss Chaos/Mystified vox
Sil-VER said 4888 days ago (March 3rd, 2006)

Check out my latest song called The Art of Death /feat Ronnielong
Ed Hannifin said 4888 days ago (March 3rd, 2006)
Kind of where...
...Woody Allen meets P.D.Q. Bach...

But heck, there are moments in Andrew Lloyd Webber and even
Stephen Sondheim that are kind of close...except they're not joking...I

Brilliantly funny: I think you could submit the unsung lyrics to The New
Yorker. It's doubly amazing that you can sing the thing, and triply
amazing that you wopped it all together with a few others in such a
short time.

You continue to amaze me, Mysti.

Check out my latest song called Chime (Alone) (Inspired by Particle Dots)
Tadashi Togawa said 4888 days ago (March 3rd, 2006)
The pleasant world
I understand of the content with very pleasant this song though I do
not understand the real intention of lyrics.

A very beautiful melody.
The singing voice is also wonderful.
Check out my latest song called Mexican taste
tbivans said 4888 days ago (March 3rd, 2006)
Love it! I remember singing a humourous song cycle in college by Vincent Persechetti. This took me back to those days. Very good vocal, and I love this sort of wacky lyric. Kind of like clean Zappa!

Keep up the good work!

Check out my latest song called Moody Night in the Den
drakonis said 4888 days ago (March 3rd, 2006)
Modern Gilbert & Sullivan?
This was desparately funny... having heard some modern English-
language opera made this recitative even funnier. Loved the
background music, especially little things like the constantly-
insistently-hit key on the piano. Personally, I'm glad to have gotten rid
of my 70's shag carpet, except mine was orange. And if it quacks like
a duck, and knocks like a duck, ... except, I think you were alluding to
somebody other than ducks. And the relatives, with the rolling of their
terrible eyes, and gnashing of their terrible teeth on those
persimmons... (shudder). This was very good, and all the more
amazing when I know its one of a bunch you just cranked out in your
26-hour day. Very inventively written and performed. Please put me
down for 2 tickets for opening night, in the mezzanine in seats k-12
and K-14.
Check out my latest song called Miwok
Moses said 4888 days ago (March 3rd, 2006)
yes the vocals may be, but another word to describe them would be
simply amazing, you have an incredible voice, and you use it very well
throughout the piece to keep it fitting to the different sections in the
tune, beautiful work, a very engaging performance, very pleasant to
these ears ;-)
Check out my latest song called Soft and Strong
ziti said 4888 days ago (March 3rd, 2006)
Just when ya think ya know a girl......she turns out to be a nutball.

this is so funny...like the clown in the ice skating show, it takes a great
amount of skill to be silly.


you are a loon, mystified. A highly elegant loon.

yr pal

Check out my latest song called The Viconian Cyclist
aclarke said 4887 days ago (March 4th, 2006)
Yeah- what he said! I'm laughing my tail off here!

<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/18327">Questions w/Sil-VER</a> /

<a href="http://www.macjams.com/song/18266">Songs About You w/ Snowdragon, Ka-Kl
Check out my latest song called Right on Time 2014- feat. David McNair
Bubowski said 4888 days ago (March 3rd, 2006)
Nailed It!
In the Art Song world, I've only really liked early 20th century French Art Song by the likes of Debussy and Poulenc. Your tunes here pefectly capture the inane subject matter of some of the more modern songs as well as the whole German Art Song thing at the end of the 19th century ("My tears are melting the snow," yada, yada...)

Anyway...Great work! and, as always your beautiful voice (works even better to complete the parody, hehe)
Check out my latest song called Impacts 1
Amboo said 4887 days ago (March 4th, 2006)
Insane and beautiful!
I must begin by telling you what a magnificent voice you have! I am a pianist as well as a vocalist and I am guessing that this was enormously enjoyable to write! Well, at least I hope it was. I definitely had a good time listening to it. It reminds me of a vrazy musical I saw once in an art theater: "Kisses for Andrew". Anyway, this was a fun listen. Overall, great job!
Check out my latest song called For Kris
Mystified said 4887 days ago (March 4th, 2006)
Yes... I am a loon
Every once in a while, I let my truly wacky sense of humor show (see also,
'Chicken Lesson' posted under Tom Atwood), and it's even rarer that I
share that particularly wacky sense of humor.

I'm really glad that others are 'getting this' as far as the parody is
concerned. So often 'operatic' singing is merely tolerated, and when it's
actually embraced, it's a treat (especially when it's overly-dramatic!)

So thank you all for your comments, and for laughing along with me!

Check out my latest song called Elevated--Miss Chaos/Mystified vox
ChrisSly said 4885 days ago (March 6th, 2006)
cracking up
I'm picturing a small stage, piano stage right, and the singer standing in the curve of the Steinway wearing her lovely diaphenous dress showing a teasingly proper amount of thick fur on the arms and chest.

This is wonderfully funny and dead on parody. I especially love your trilled r's. Sometimes in the right place, and sometimes in the wrong place, which makes them even funnier.

Nice stuff!!
Check out my latest song called La Valse Final Waltz
Mystified said 4882 days ago (March 9th, 2006)
cracking up

You know....the best part of posting a song like this is reading the comments.....!

Thank you so much for enjoying this and giving me, in turn, a great comment to read!
Check out my latest song called Elevated--Miss Chaos/Mystified vox
Mcboy said 4882 days ago (March 9th, 2006)
............................................ ........................................

...... .....


Check out my latest song called Bluesphemy (MJRF 2010)
Mystified said 4882 days ago (March 9th, 2006)

Now...to decipher what it all means.
You just crack me up, mcboy :)

thanks! ;)
Check out my latest song called Elevated--Miss Chaos/Mystified vox
Einarus said 4881 days ago (March 10th, 2006)
Ducks are cool
Is there more that can be said?

Of course there is, but I'm too busy enjoying this :)

A very fun listen!
Check out my latest song called "I Hate Goodbyes"
Mystified said 4862 days ago (March 29th, 2006)
Ducks are cool
Quack, quack, quackity-quack!

I'm glad you enjoyed this, Ein :) thanks for dropping by!
Check out my latest song called Elevated--Miss Chaos/Mystified vox
Warren Smith said 4863 days ago (March 28th, 2006)
art(istry) song
Sometimes - and I guessing that's what happened here - taking a light-hearted approach frees up the imagination to produce something amazing that wouldn't come out if one tried to get serious about it. In short - this is wonderful. Even though you know it's exaggerated for comic effect, one can't help but have a strong emotional response to Sashquatchia's social stiflizations (that may not be a word.) That is, you either emphathize with her and love her, or pity and scorn her (I found myself doing both!), but either way, she seems very real. That's a product of true artistry!

In fact, I think it is the opening line that makes her instantly personable. Not because she's worried about the plight of her cousin's starving kids, but from the rapture she emotes at the sight of fresh red berries on the vine - which, of course, is a testimony to the power of your singing.
Check out my latest song called Toe Jam
Mystified said 4862 days ago (March 29th, 2006)
art(istry) song
Thank you so much, Warren, for your thoughtful and generous comments!

This all seemed to fall together so naturally, and it's really interesting and
helpful to read others' interpretations of this.

Thanks again for your very considerate comments! I'm glad you enjoyed this.
Check out my latest song called Elevated--Miss Chaos/Mystified vox
paul f. page said 4479 days ago (April 16th, 2007)
Significant Sorrow...
...that's what I felt listening to your crazy lyrics and the oh-so-seriously-performed rendition of them. This is not so much funny to me as it is a wonderful spoof of so much quasi-operatic music that boasts of its own self-importance. You have captured the ridiculous in the not-so-sublime by keeping a straight face throughout as though this were high art. And THAT is exactly what makes it art in the first place: you obviously know what you are doing and do it well. How fun for the rest of us who might be afraid to venture out in public with so few clothes on!!! Brava!
Check out my latest song called Caprice
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