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Done My Time


by

strangedream

 Genre: Indie Rock

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Description
This is another roughie....but I had to share! My favorite song of those I've been kicking around lately...this is a very personal tune...it's going to rock! Just wanted to see if anyone had any suggestions for the final version. Also, looking for a male singer to duet on this. Anybody interested?
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Lyrics
Is this your idea of Mercy?
Is this your idea of Grace?
A hundred lies too little,
A thousand miles too late
Oh I've done my time
Found a way to heal
Ain't got no love left to steal

Imagine you're still running
You'll run until you're sick of yourself
Oh babe that justice is coming...
can't give it to nobody else
Because there ain't no shortcuts
When you're doing time
I hope you've found your peace
Cause I've found mine

Is this your idea of sorry?
Is this your idea of pain?
Oh babe I hope that you know better
Than to try me again
Oh so sick and sorry
Found a way to be strong
Cause baby I don't deserve no more wrong!

So baby hunt it
Maybe you'll find it
Cause once you've done it
You can't rewind it
Oh baby love it
If you wanna keep it
Cause once you've killed it
You can't redeem it

Is this your idea of mercy?
Is this your idea of grace?
A hundred lies too little
A thousand miles too late

Words and Music by Natalie Scibetta
All Rights Reserved
Song Stats
Hits: 1720
Comments: 23
Fans: 10
Plays: 72
Downloads: 23
Votes: 1
Uploaded: Aug 19, 2010 - 04:40:03 PM
Last Updated: Jun 13, 2017 - 10:16:55 PM Last Played: Jan 20, 2018 - 03:13:11 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
Sigma guitar, clapping hands, snowball mic
Software:
Acid Pro 6.0
Comments
ted23 said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Already rocks!
Steady powerful drums are kicking.
Your voice is fantastic! Such a nice tone. Will require a male vocalist with more skills than moi to do this justice.
Did I hear a child in the background? :)
This is on the way to being really nice
strangedream said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
LOL
Yes...one of the reasons why this is a roughie. The incessant giggling of children! It follows me! But thanks for commenting. If you know anyone on here who might wanna collab, please let me know.
drakonis said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Rough & almost ready
Great song structure, super melody, nice singing-in-anguish style... the drums are a bit loud and repetitive (need some fills etc). Love the lyrics, and the ending. Already gorgeous, it would be sumptuous if a little extra harmony singing were added, I agree.
ttfn,
Drakonis
Check out my latest song called Miwok
alackbass said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Done My Time
Love the tune and the vocal. Back down the drums and vary them with some fills and cymbals. How about a bass and electric guitar to add some texture? You taking volunteers? You can't see me, but I'm raising my hand.
Check out my latest song called Mean Miss Teacher
alackbass said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Clarification
I was volunteering to play guitar and bass.
Check out my latest song called Mean Miss Teacher
strangedream said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
As a matter of fact...
I AM seeking volunteers. I don't have a lot to work with in terms of loops, which is why its just one constant track. How's about I send you the pieces at somepoint? PM me with your email and I will do so.
crissew said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
I like this groove
has a lot of potential. Some ideas came to mind immediately on this track. I saw Gaylen's recommendation (thanks by the way) and I think this would be right in my vocal range too. I will give er a shot if you are agreeable to it. PM to you
Check out my latest song called Dollar Store Christmas w/ Jerry Rissew
obbster said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Sound great
Loving this.
Check out my latest song called The Tomb Raider
Sirens_Headband said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
That Nitch
Vocal is pouting so hard and still sweet edged. This is a gift.
Needs bass that bounces along the track with a wicked grin.
Maybe some B3?
Best of luck with it. Would make a good collab bed for specialists...

Daug



Check out my latest song called Death By Misadventure Solo by Andy Sax
strangedream said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
I'm retarded
What is B3?
papag said 3041 days ago (August 19th, 2010)
Seeds of a great song
This one has all the right components. I can't wait to hear the results if you get it beefed up with some support collaboration.

Your voice is quite nice here.

B3 would be the Hammond B3 organ.
Check out my latest song called Chinese Flutes (first draft)
echoroom said 3041 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
Male vox
This is a very powerful, emotional track
You sure you need male vox on this... Your voice is perfect.
Check out my latest song called Light Sleeper
speedonl said 3041 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
Done My Time
You sound great, doesn't need a male voice I think...
Check out my latest song called Plane
HipHopMoses said 3041 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
Great rough draft
I like your style and this is well written I agree with the drums needing some work not sure about the other instruments because it might change the feel, but if they can be tastefully brought in with a build to them that may work. I for one lean toward I'd rather hear unique then formulating but that's just me. I also would like to give the male vocals and harmonies ago. I agree they aren't necessary but since you asked :D I'll volunteer as well.
Check out my latest song called Would It Be
awigze said 3041 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
this is getting better and better
have a great time with this all.
Check out my latest song called If You Can Hang On by Outtaorbit
davisamerica said 3041 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
a B3
is an organ.. ;-] ... looks like you have some help coming on this and it should be even better ... but I must say all in all this really is a great track.
Check out my latest song called ok char2(Vic and Flatrock mix)
GregDz said 3040 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
Very, very nice
I agree with the others about not needing a male voice. If you are looking for a B3 and maybe some soft strings or maybe a cello (always good for simple, emotional songs) I'll volunteer.

I listened to this with a headset at work and pulled the headset off wondering "who brought kids in here"!

Greg
Check out my latest song called Jackson's Lullaby (11/20/13)
taylormorgan said 3040 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
get in touch
I'll sing with you..Also help if I can with some instruments...None will be a B3 however...I have totally admiration for organists..And I sure as hell ain't one..LOL....Great song...email me if interested...I use Live8....So stems both midi and audio will need to change hands... Taylor
Check out my latest song called 86BPM Bat sana RF
strangedream said 3040 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
That's funny
PM me with an email addy and I'll send you the pieces. Without kids in the background. LOL.
billullo said 3040 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
Good stuff
I was going to mention the need for drum fills, but that's been covered. As for as a male voice goes, I think providing your own chorus would fill this out nicely. You can even try a three part harmony. There is a lot of emotional investment in this song - it's very audible. I'd experiment with some simple layered vocals and see how it goes. It may offer more than a male vocal would provide. You never know. Keep up the awesome work!
Check out my latest song called Vessel
rockstar89 said 3040 days ago (August 20th, 2010)
nice
Very nice feel on YOUR voice, song is a bit repetitive, but I would be willing to take a stab at a male vocal if you are still looking.
Check out my latest song called Here You Are
MarkHolbrook said 3015 days ago (September 14th, 2010)
I think you
are working with Charles on this. He's a great choice. Perfect fit vocal for yours. On this I must say that the drums are far too much in front. They cover just about everything else. But what a cool tune!
Check out my latest song called Corn Whiskey
Warren Smith said 2995 days ago (October 4th, 2010)
Rough drafts
One of the great joys of MacJams membership is getting access to rough drafts. It's fun to observe creative growth and it's helpful to read technical feedback from advanced practioners. Especially since I'm not one of them : )

Despite technical issues, there's something wonderful going on in each of these first 10 songs you have posted. They are fresh and refreshing.

I particularly like your experiments with vocal layering. It makes for some marvelous musical moments ... and it really becomes something exquisite in "Henry Ft Residence."

I would like to hear some lead instruments playing off of your deft rhythms. Maybe that will be coming up in some of the collaborations being discussed?

You haven't asked for any lyrical feedback (why should you? - you're a good writer), but I've got one little thought for the first verse here - a thought which you can take or leave. Since you like to play around with word twists, I suggest you change a "thousand miles" to a "thousand truths," which would be a sharp reversal of a "hundred lies." I recognize the way it is written might have personal meaning, so feel free to ignore this suggestion. It's not offered as a criticism, but simply an alternative idea.

I look forward to future postings of yours.
Check out my latest song called I'll Be On My Way
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Name: strangedream
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