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I recently had surgery, so I've been spending a fair bit of time recuperating at home. My first few days back at home were a bit of a daze, as I was kept heavily sedated on pain killers. I never seemed to sleep during that time, but rather just faded in and out of reality.

During those first few days in which sleep was so elusive, I would occasionally stumble out the back door in the middle of the night and sit in my adirondack chair on the deck. The clear sky was big and full of stars, and I spent time listening to the frogs by the creek that runs through our property, stargazing, and just thinking.

During one of those first nights I was in a lot of pain, so I quietly got up, took some meds, and stumbled out to the frogs and stars. As I sat there, my fingers found the nearby wind chime and began fumbling across the small tubes. Looking down, I noticed my meditation bell, so I began to gently strike it a few times.

After a while of doing this, a gentle hum began to vibrate in my body, and I noticed that my senses were heightened: hearing, sight, smell, and touch. I could smell the water cascading down the creek; I could almost touch the cold night air; The chimes were still ringing, but their sound had changed in a way I cannot describe. The hum grew stronger, and as I leaned back in the chair as to try and absorb it, I looked up in the sky. The stars seemed to pulsate and change colors, almost as if they were conveying a message to me in some kind of cosmic code. I was completely immobile, yet I could feel everything: the hum, my breathing, the stars. Suddenly, a moment of crystal clarity presented itself in my body.

It was in that moment that the secrets of the universe began revealing themselves to me, one after the other. Truth after truth entered through my forehead and traveled down my spine, drenching me in a cosmic wave of revelation. Such clarity! Such simplicity! Such bliss! I felt as if I truly understood everything in that moment.

But alas, I began to realize that as each new secret presented itself to me, the previous one evaporated into the ether. They seemed to cycle through my body as if in a slow motion whirlpool, and I was powerless to stop the cycle. I desperately grasped at each secret--to somehow hold on to it and put it in a lockbox in my brain--but it was as if my being only had room for one secret at a time.

In the midst of this metaphysical experience I heard a faint giggling in my ear. I couldn't tell if the giggling was coming from my body or not, but I'm certain it wasn't me. Perhaps it was God, laughing at her cosmic joke being played out on an unsuspecting mortal, not unlike the jokes that have been played out on humanity for eons.

It was a cruel joke to be sure, as I have little recollection of the experience. I can't remember the secrets, but I can assure you that there are secrets, and there are answers to those cosmic, spiritual questions fermenting in each of us.

Perhaps it wasn't so cruel after all.
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Song Stats
Hits: 3236
Comments: 18
Fans: 15
Plays: 62
Downloads: 93

Uploaded: Mar 09, 2011 - 04:46:52 PM
Last Updated: Jul 03, 2013 - 01:20:47 PM Last Played: Jun 30, 2019 - 05:10:31 PM
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Ex_Silentio said 3140 days ago (March 10th, 2011)
Patient and well thought out. The drone works well to underlie the whooshing in and out of the secrets. It lends an air of concentration and stillness. Wind chimes are always nice. The breathing and giggle/laugh sounds are subtle and effective. I really like this. And the writeup made for fascinating reading.
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mrattue said 3140 days ago (March 10th, 2011)
to hear that you have been going through a rough time, though making such interesting music after what seems a pretty unique experience is a pretty major compensation?

As you say, at least you know that there are answers out there, that it is not all chaotic and pointless. That is worth a lot, even if you cannot remember it. And even if you could remember it, i doubt you could convey the substance of it in words. If it was a feeling rather than an objective, translatable communication, then is it any wonder that, like feelings in general, they were experienced and then went their way, replaced by other feelings?

Nice piece of music, too, especially with the comment to illuminate the meaning.

Cheers now

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davisamerica said 3140 days ago (March 10th, 2011)
great write up
... we're all in search of the lost chord arn't we. nice track. be well.
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egobandit said 3139 days ago (March 11th, 2011)
Your description
Had me, I know exactly what your talking about it happened to me also but I can t remember I like how the bass comes in this and the giggle is in my left ear powerful music sounds like a wave crashing or heavy breathing, this is a true piece of art! BTW I Hope the survey was minor be well!
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Sigmund said 3137 days ago (March 13th, 2011)
Excellent meditation and relaxation music. Sounds like you are recreating your experience from above. Thanks for sharing!
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RAVENS said 3137 days ago (March 13th, 2011)
The stars can be healing, especially when the fairies dance amongst them and make them shine. The universe emulates magic, especially when we most need it. I hope you are feeling better. This was so very pretty!

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ktb said 3137 days ago (March 13th, 2011)
hypnotic and completely beautiful. spellbound
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fasteddie said 3136 days ago (March 14th, 2011)
Interesting song
Cool ambient track.

It's cool the way the ominous tones take over.
The progressions cool.

Good stuff.

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racerat said 3135 days ago (March 15th, 2011)
Not sure if the song is about the story or the story is about the song. But, you are right. There are secrets. They are indeed fleeting. But it is comforting to know they are out there, just out of a solid grasp. Drugs are like a hand that lifts a veil that we usually cannot see beyond. You had a lucky glimpse. What a gorgeous track.
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KCsGROOVE said 3134 days ago (March 16th, 2011)
you describe
a kind of mystic experience...
You captured that vibe very well in this song!
Really cool!
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oldlibmike said 3128 days ago (March 22nd, 2011)
3 dimensional
I don't have surround but I swear I heard sounds behind me while listening :) Very well put together - evokes a mood.
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VicDiesel said 3124 days ago (March 26th, 2011)
A much more peaceful tune one would suspect from having been written in a pain attack.

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papag said 3123 days ago (March 27th, 2011)
awesome story CB. This track is quite nice too. It's the kind of piece that transcends a given and I wish it went on even longer.

thank you for the download :)
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neilh79 said 3123 days ago (March 27th, 2011)
Very powerful expression, the chimes are sublime enjoyed!
alackbass said 3123 days ago (March 27th, 2011)
Wow! Can you get me some of those pain killers. The sound effects and musical elements you've combined here accurately match the experience you described. Well done!
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kingbee said 3123 days ago (March 27th, 2011)
pond life
Really relaxing..and interesting pice of music. I really got caught up in the visuals of it from your description. The birds are singing out side my window and they added to the outside wildlife sound of this. Good use of bass just dropping in now and again.
Hope you feel better and get some proper sleep.
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dave_b said 3123 days ago (March 27th, 2011)
Very peaceful & relaxing, good for meditation. That's quite a story... if it happened to me I'd be blaming the flashbacks :)
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aRcTip said 2967 days ago (August 30th, 2011)
Check out my latest song called A Ballad For The Fortunate
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Name: Jason
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Just an old punker trying to navigate his way through the world of MIDI, exploring new writing styles and making stuff up as I go along. My continuing mission: to explore all genres of music; to seek out strange sounds and messed up beats; to bol... [see more]

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Experimental music is any music that challenges the commonly accepted notions of what music is. There is an overlap with avant-garde music. John Cage was a pioneer in experimental music and defined and gave credibility to the form. As with other edge

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