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I Saw w/ lyrics by Siobhan Rattue


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Description
My niece Siobhan did a poetry project at school, in which the lines are composed in rhymed couplets and then the two final phrases from each reversed to produce a sort of nonsense, or novelty effect. i really liked the result and set the lines to music. It is just a rather lighthearted thing, and quickly over. i found it a real challenge because there are so many mood changes. See what you think.

('vrot', incidentally, is a South African word for 'rotten'. My niece is growing up in Cape Town)
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Lyrics
I Saw

I saw a man, going stale and vrot
I saw a fruit, acting the clot,
I saw a dog, drawing a line,
I saw a pencil with a broken spine,
And I saw a heart, snoring intently,
I saw a woman, beating gently,
I saw a knight, riding a lama,
I saw a monkey in shining armour,
I saw a disease, infested with moles,
I saw a garden killing souls,
And i saw the sun in a fountain,
I saw my reflection behind a mountain,
And i saw a bird being hung from a peg,
I saw my washing, hatch from an egg,
And I saw my Dad, opening to the sky,
I saw a rose waving goodbye.
Song Stats
Hits: 2543
Comments: 23
Fans: 10
Plays: 78
Downloads: 70
Votes: 0
Uploaded: Sep 12, 2011 - 06:00:10 PM
Last Updated: Sep 12, 2011 - 06:32:00 PM Last Played: Mar 17, 2019 - 10:08:41 AM
Song License
Creative Commons License:
Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike

Creative Commons

Song Actions
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Hardware:
BR-6000
Software:
GB
Comments
alackbass said 2748 days ago (September 12th, 2011)
I Saw
The tune is lovely as is your performance. I think you should post Siobhan's poem. I think that would help some of us fully appreciate her contribution to your collaboration.
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mrattue said 2748 days ago (September 12th, 2011)
Hi Andrew
Glad you liked it. The lyrics are Siobhan's poem in full. The actual lines she wrote first are the couplets with the endings before they were switched, so the first one originally read: i saw a man, acting the clot; i saw a fruit going stale and vrot, etc... The teacher changed them round for effect, which does give them a startling twist.

Sorry, it's a little complicated the way i explain it!

Cheers for listening,

Marc
Check out my latest song called Second Wind
PatriciaGirl said 2748 days ago (September 12th, 2011)
Lovely
Interesting play of words in this piece. The guitar work is very sweet as with your voice. My favorite lines:

And I saw my Dad, opening to the sky,
I saw a rose waving goodbye.

Thanks for sharing,
pg
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mrattue said 2747 days ago (September 14th, 2011)
Thank You!
Glad you liked it. The poem is inspiring in itself, isn't it?

Hopefully, if my niece likes my treatment of it (and i haven't had any feedback as yet!), it might encourage her to continue to write poetry.

Cheers now

marc

Check out my latest song called Second Wind
Narad said 2748 days ago (September 13th, 2011)
I Saw
Lovely, sweet and melancholic piece. :)
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mrattue said 2747 days ago (September 14th, 2011)
Hi, Harald!
Thanks for stopping by, and i am glad you found it worthwhile!

Marc
Check out my latest song called Second Wind
neilh79 said 2748 days ago (September 13th, 2011)
I Saw
Beautiful Marc, a really nice song and the poem is great too. See where she gets her creativity from well done
mrattue said 2747 days ago (September 14th, 2011)
Hi Neil!
i am half a world away from my nieces in South Africa and i am very bad at leaving England, so it was nice to be able to do something like this.

Hopefully it will inspire her to write more.

Cheers for listening as always,

Marc

Check out my latest song called Second Wind
Loob said 2748 days ago (September 13th, 2011)
Great adaptation Marc!
She must be thrilled that you did this! More!
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mrattue said 2747 days ago (September 14th, 2011)
Hi Freddy!
Really pleased it went down so well. i posted it down to South Africa a while back but i am yet to hear the review from my niece! Hopefully it will be as positive as yours!

Thanks for the encouragement,

Cheers now

Marc
Check out my latest song called Second Wind
michaeljayklein said 2748 days ago (September 13th, 2011)
Nice!
Thanks for sharing this Marc.
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mrattue said 2747 days ago (September 14th, 2011)
Hi Michael!
You're very welcome!

Glad this one hit the spot.

Enjoying your songs, as always.

marc
Check out my latest song called Second Wind
sammydix said 2747 days ago (September 14th, 2011)
I Saw
what a fantastic concept that teacher had! as one who dabbles in writing--and a little poetry--that just opened up a world of ideas for me. literary serendipity just while listening to a fellow MJ's tune. many thanks to you and Siobhan for this great concept.

now i gotta try it... :D
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mrattue said 2746 days ago (September 15th, 2011)
Hi Sam!
It's certainly a new idea on me, too, though my literary efforts are already jumbled enough!

Glad you found it inspiring. Look forward to the results!

Cheers for listening,

Marc
Check out my latest song called Second Wind
sammydix said 2746 days ago (September 15th, 2011)
oops
i meant as a way to spark up any writers' block. not for music.
Check out my latest song called Run!
Jarvoid said 2746 days ago (September 15th, 2011)
I do like this
I do I do I do.....has the air and quality of "One fine day,in the middle of the night" type of thing and could be developed tho' fine as is !

regards to young Siobahn ( how the hell that becomes "shivawn" is beyond me !! lol)and her poem too.


Jarvoid
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mrattue said 2746 days ago (September 15th, 2011)
Hi Jarvoid!
Thanks for the great comment! The way words don't sound like they spell is amazing. Even 'I do' when you think about it, doesn't sound as it looks. Only one vowel sound is represented in the spelling, though the 'oooo' sound is actually made up of two sliding into one another, or a 'diphthong' as it is properly known.

Really glad you liked the song and the poem!

Cheers now

Marc
Check out my latest song called Second Wind
dave_b said 2746 days ago (September 15th, 2011)
I Saw
Interesting effect switching the locations of those clauses :) some cool lines resulted "And i saw the sun in a fountain," "I saw my washing, hatch from an egg,". Nice picking with a renaissance feel to the melody.
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mrattue said 2745 days ago (September 15th, 2011)
Hi Dave!
Thanks for giving this one a go. i thought the effect of the switches was very effective, too.

Glad it had something of an English roots feel. Like that ambience.

Cheers for listening as always,

Marc
Check out my latest song called Second Wind
egobandit said 2733 days ago (September 28th, 2011)
Im gonna play this
for my daughter, I like the poetry in this, I like the way the phrases ryhme, I must say I dont know what a vrot is, I enjoyed !
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mrattue said 2731 days ago (September 30th, 2011)
Vrot
was new one on me, too, but apparently it means 'rotten' in South Africa. My niece is growing up there.

Glad you liked it.

Cheers now

Marc
Check out my latest song called Second Wind
PeterB7858 said 2731 days ago (September 30th, 2011)
Fine job
Hi Marc. You do a fine job of bringing your niece's poem to life. Like the sensitive vocal work. Lyrically it could be a lost Dylan track :-) Take care, Peter.
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mrattue said 2731 days ago (September 30th, 2011)
Hi Peter!
Hope you are feeling OK?

Glad you liked this one, and as always, i really appreciate your interest!

Marc
Check out my latest song called Second Wind
Artist Info
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Name: Marc Rattue
Location: Warminster United Kingdom
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Fifty something, reclusive, seafaring latecomer, up until a year or so ago a writer of poetry, but more recently moved into music, having found that the production of songs was possible with a minimum of talent with the aid of modern technology! I... [see more]

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